Contributed by Troy Borst on May 31, 2012
based on 4 ratings
| 5,224 views
A WORRY SATIRE
Luke 12:22-34 (New Revised Updated Modernization Version for the E-Pad with notes) (NRUMVEPwN)
Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, about evil people hurting you your family, or random biological terrorist attacks, or how the stock
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Christian/Church Of Christ
based on 1 rating
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A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ‘I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.’
The driver says, ‘Oh my, officer I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.’
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says, ‘Now don’t be silly dear, you
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 21, 2012
COPING WITH COMPLAINING
How do you cope with complaining, nagging, whine-baby people? Internet discussion board posted this:
Why do people complain so much?
I know it's a natural thing but it has to be unhealthy. At my job people never stop complaining. Every day it's either too hot or too cold.
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Terry Cavanaugh on May 18, 2004
based on 7 ratings
| 1,803 views
Max Lucado suggested this scenario..
You came home cranky because a deadline got moved up. She came home grumpy because the day-care forgot to give your five-year-old her throat medicine. Each of you was wanting a little sympathy from the other, but neither got any. So there you sit at the dinner
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Methodist
based on 9 ratings
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Well, for you who aren’t sure if you were from a small town, let me help you out. You know you’re from a small town when:
• The city limits signs are both on the same post!
• The local Motel 6 sleeps 6. (You’ll notice is says that in Bethlehem “…there was no room in THE Inn.” Bethlehem didn’t
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 1 rating
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Have you seen those new GPS guidance systems that you can get for your car? Some are built in (for several thousand dollars) and some are portable. You can plug them into your lighter or cell phone connection in your car. Then you can touch the screen and tell it where you would like to go and it
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Contributed by Tim Harlow on May 13, 2009
WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "You’re way too stupid to be trusted driving alone in bad weather at your age."
WHAT SHE ACTUALLY SAID, "Drive carefully, dear."
WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "Honey, why don’t you put your head in a vice and I’ll turn the handle until your skull explodes."
WHAT SHE
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Melvin Newland on Apr 16, 2001
based on 163 ratings
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Now I can’t find this in the Bible, but perhaps you’ve heard the story that before Eve was created, God was talking with Adam. He said, “You really need a helper, don’t you?” And Adam answered, “Yeah, I really do.”
So God said, “What if I make a woman? She’ll be perfect for you. She’ll be
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Timothy Darling on Jan 26, 2009
BE A LINE-GUIDE
When they were teaching me to march in the Navy, for a while until they learned that I have eye problems (go figure) they made me a line-guide. A line-guide is in the front corner of the ranks and marches straight, so that everyone else can mark their place off him.
The line-guide
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Mennonite
Contributed by Johnny Wilson on Feb 12, 2009
HOW THE MIGHTY FALL
The British group, The Alarm, sang about someone of great influence who had brought himself down. I remember this song because I went through a period of personal crisis after a time of career triumph. In my depression, I heard these lyrics being about me:
Once your words were
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*other
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Nov 21, 2011
STOP "SUPPOSING"
I remember reading the story of a faithful but fairly poor Christian woman. She was always cheerful and smiling and excited about life. But she was so cheerful that a friend of hers decided she was too cheerful. She needed a dose of "reality" and perspective.
So the friend said
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Greg Warren on Apr 19, 2001
based on 217 ratings
| 3,604 views
Good afternoon,
I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Pleae remember that I do not need your help. If the devil happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, DO NOT attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFJTD (something for Jesus to do) box. It will
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Steve Malone on May 10, 2001
based on 150 ratings
| 7,457 views
A teacher was trying to teach her class a lesson about fractions. After the lesson she tested one of the boys who was in a large family. Johnny, she said, There are 6 people in your family. Your mom bakes a pie, and she cuts it up for you, what percentage of the pie will you receive?
Johnny,
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Christian/Church Of Christ
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