Contributed by Dennis Clark on Apr 12, 2001
based on 121 ratings
| 2,334 views
A railroad yardmaster called the telephone daily at exactly 11:45 to verify the time. After years of this ritual the operator asked the yardmaster, "Why do you call each day at exactly the same time?" His reply, "I take my responsibilities very seriously, I call to be certain I blow the 12:00
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Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 19, 2002
based on 19 ratings
| 2,123 views
HOW LONG IS MY LIFE
A few years ago People Magazine published an article entitled "Dead Ahead" telling about a new clock that keeps track of how much time you have left to live. It calculates an average life span of 75 years for men & 80 years for women. So you program your sex & age into the
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based on 11 ratings
| 3,961 views
WHEN PATIENCE IS REQUIRED!
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on their door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger in the pouring rain is asking for a push. “Not a chance” says the husband- “It’s three o’clock in the morning!” He
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
based on 1 rating
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Illustration: Objects on Stage and in the Power Point slide: Clock = Time, Money = Finances, Family and a Car = Resources – I believe in a principle I will call 10 - 3rd power. The Clock represents our time and parallels to the one who actually gave us all the gift of time – His name God the
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Ed Wood on Jun 7, 2002
The legendary Bear Bryant once told a second string quarterback to go in the game and run out clock. The quarterback ran two plays, then throws a pass intercepted by an All American safety. The quarterback, who is the slowest man on field, catches him on 1 yard line. Other coach asked, how? And
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Denomination:
Baptist
"Wake Up Little Susie" is a popular song written by Felice and Boudleaux Bryant and published in 1957.
The song is best known in a recording by The Everly Brothers. It is written from the point of view of a high school boy to his girlfriend, Susie. In the song, the two go out on a date to a
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Baptist
Contributed by Bruce Howell on Oct 17, 2001
based on 31 ratings
| 3,759 views
“Dr. Garl Restored My Sight!”
There was this soft-spoken man who was a commuter on the Long Island Railroad—on the five o’clock local. Every evening, after the train had left the subway, he would begin a journey through the car from front to back. At each seat he would stop and say, “Excuse me.
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Wesleyan
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
. DR. VANCE HAVNER USED TO TELL THE STORY ABOUT THE OLD GEORGIA FARMER WHO, AS HE SLEPT ONE EVENING, HEARD HIS GRANDFATHER CLOCK STRIKE MIDNIGHT.
C. THE GONG SOUNDED 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 TIMES, BUT THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THE MECHANISM AND IT KEPT ON STRIKING 13, 14, 15 TIMES
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based on 2 ratings
| 2,496 views
Einstein said the reason he could construct the theory of relativity was because there is one thing in the world that is unchangeable. That one thing is the speed of light. Light travels at a rate of 100 and 86 thousand miles per second --- seven times around the world at the tick of a clock.
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Engleburg Toney on Jan 18, 2010
Time magazine, in its January 11, 2010 issue, had an article in it about what a Chicago megachurch was doing to integrate its congregation. It even cited a quote from Dr. King. In 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. famously declared that "11 o’clock Sunday morning is the most segregated hour of the week
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Seventh-Day Adventist
Contributed by Steve Kinnard on Feb 15, 2019
based on 1 rating
| 4,809 views
WHY WORRY?
Alarm clock didn’t go off, A case of the depressed blues is headed your way
You’re late for work, have a flat tire, try to take wife’s car it won’t start she left the lights on, Get the jumper cables jump it off, in a hurry, Blue light special speeding ticket, Boss chews you out, wife
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Rick Davis on Jun 11, 2003
based on 15 ratings
| 10,380 views
MARRIAGE JOKES
1. Marriage made in Heaven — So is thunder in lightening!!
2. Love is a dream — Marriage is an alarm clock
3. A honeymoon is a Short Pause - between - I Do and You Better
4. Lady went to get a divorce—
Lawyer: “Do you have ground?”
Lady: “About 2 acres”
Lawyer: “Do
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Baptist
Contributed by Engleburg Toney on Jan 18, 2010
MOST SEGREGATED HOUR OF THE WEEK
Time magazine, in its January 11, 2010 issue, had an article in it about what a Chicago megachurch was doing to integrate its congregation. It even cited a quote from Dr. King. In 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. famously declared that "11 o’clock Sunday morning is the
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Denomination:
Seventh-Day Adventist
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Apr 6, 2009
I want to share one more time from our trip. On the ship, we had an inside cabin. There were two long hallways running the length of the ship that had access to cabins on either side. The cabins along one side all were on the outside and therefore had windows. The cabins on the other side were
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Church Of God
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