Contributed by Joel Vicente on Feb 14, 2005
based on 13 ratings
| 15,008 views
Illustrate Humor: WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
My mother taught me RELIGION: When I spilled grape juice on the carpet, she instructed, "You better pray the stain will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me LOGIC: From her decisive words, "Because I said so, that’s why."
My mother taught me
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Curt Cizek on Sep 19, 2007
Last summer when I was working at the seminary on grounds crew, I was put in charge of a special task. I was to oversee the labor of three other workers. We were suppose to clean up the yard for our new Dean of Student Life. There were a lot of different plants growing in a bed around the front of
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by C Jordan on May 12, 2008
INTRO: WHY GOD MADE MOMS:
Answers given by 2nd grade school children:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like
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*other
Contributed by Brian La Croix on Sep 21, 2008
There are some real benefits to God’s commands.
His commands are there for our protection.
I have rules in my house. Things like –
“Clean your room before doing going anywhere.”
“Get your homework done.”
“Don’t tell what’s going to happen in the movie.” (That one risks the death
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Steve Lotze on Sep 27, 2008
How many of you go straight to joy when you’re in a trial?
Kind of wonder about people like that – tend more like chippie…
Anyone here own a parakeet? – cleaning is hassle – Chippies owner vacuuming feathers off floor – brilliant idea! – vacuum bottom of cage… don’t try this at home kids…
The
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Dec 15, 2008
Plymouth, England, December 1: Being too particular about cleanliness can make you a lenient judge, says a strange but interesting British study.
Dr. Simone Schnall, a psychologist at University of Plymouth, stated that people who tend to wash their hands before making judgments are more likely to
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Todd Catteau on Dec 19, 2008
Poor Chippie
A Galveston housewife had a pet parakeet named Chippie. The woman, however, made some terrible mistakes with Chippie. There are just some things that you don't do with parakeets!
While vacuuming the carpet one day, she decided to clean out of the bottom of Chippie's cage with her
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Johnny Wilson on Feb 13, 2009
based on 1 rating
| 1,884 views
"FIX IT!"
The Catholic archbishop and novelist, Andrew Greeley, brilliantly describes God’s redemptive work and holy clean-up as "God’s big crayon making crooked lines straight," but this only addresses the result, not the process. It reminds me of when, as a young boy, my mother and I would color
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*other
Contributed by Ajai Prakash on Mar 10, 2010
I’ll never forget my first experience using an automatic car wash. Approaching it with the dread of going to the dentist, I pushed the money into the slot, nervously checked and rechecked my windows, eased the car up to the line, and waited. Powers beyond my control began moving my car forward as
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 22, 2005
based on 5 ratings
| 2,278 views
Ernest Hemingway, the literary genius, said of his life: “I live in a vacuum that is as lonely as a radio tube when the batteries are dead, and there is no current to plug into.”
This is a startling statement, given the fact that Hemingway’s life would be the envy of anyone who had bought the
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Contributed by Richard Goble on Nov 16, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 2,545 views
Jim Rhodes: God’s Complainer
Driving through Mineral Wells, Texas, one afternoon in 1994, Jim Rhodes noticed many buildings standing vacant due to the shutdown of a local military base. "I always complain to God about things that bother me," says Rhodes, "so I asked him, ’Why aren’t these buildings
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Denomination:
Baptist
Sermon Central