In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Jokes"

You Come To Me

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 15, 2011

YOU COME TO ME Jimmy, and his son, Davey, were playing in the ocean down in Mexico, while his family -- his wife, daughters, parents, and a cousin -- were on the beach. Suddenly, a rogue riptide swept Davey out to the sea. Immediately Jimmy started to do whatever he could to help Davey get back to ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 11:28-30

Tags: Salvation

Predicting The World Series Winner. . . And Failing Miserably

Contributed by Jim Butcher on Apr 11, 2018

It was a dramatic performance in Game 7 of the World Series about a month ago: Madison Bumgarner coming in as a relief pitcher and proceeding to sow up the win for the San Francisco Giants. An impressive performance. Let’s go back to the spring – before the first pitch was thrown on the 2014 ...read more

Tags: Predictions, Bible, Prophecy

Denomination: Baptist

The Girl That Was Blind

Contributed by Paul Steen on Dec 24, 2018

Once there was a blind girl named Ramona. She hated herself because she could not see. She had no eyes. The only person in the whole world that she loved was her boyfriend Daniel and he loved her. He was always there for her. He told her that he wanted to marry her. He didn’t care that she was ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 5:21

Tags: Blindness, Heartbreak, Gifts, Dreams Shattered, Love, Marriage, Rejection  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Calvary Chapel

Understanding Justice And Mercy

Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Dec 2, 2021

As we consider the call of John and look forward at Christmas to the birth of Christ, let us look at the content of God’s message to us God knew exactly what he was doing when he sent Jesus to this earth. The Cross wasn’t a “horrible misjudgement” Rather the reason Jesus came into this world ...read more

Scripture: Luke 3:1-20

Tags: John The Baptist, The Birth Of Christ

Denomination: Anglican

The Coolest Dad In The Universe  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2001

THE COOLEST DAD IN THE UNIVERSE He was 50 years old when I was born, and a "Mr. Mom" long before anyone had a name for it. I didn’t know why he was home instead of Mom, but I was young and the only one of my friends who had their dad around. I considered myself very lucky. Dad did so many things ...read more

Tags: Father's Day, Parenting

To One It’s Monday To Another It’s Wednesday

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 11, 2020

Time goes so fast at times that I do not always remember what day it is. I get so busy trying to get my work done that I forget if it’s Monday or Friday. It is a good thing I am getting older because I have a built-in excuse for forgetting what day it is. Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 15:13

Tags: Happiness, Joy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What It Was, Was A Peach Tree

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 15, 2020

For some reason, this week, I had been thinking of my maternal grandfather. I was named after him, and therefore we had a connection. I was thinking about him because this month I turned the same age as he was when he passed. I hope there's no connection there. As a young boy, I would spend a ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 3:23

Tags: Faith, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Doing Nothing Is Harder Than I Thought

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 29, 2020

After being so long in a lockdown situation, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage planned a short vacation time for us. It took her quite a while to put all of the pieces together, but she succeeded as always. As I was preparing for this little adventure, my wife looked at me and said, ...read more

Scripture: Luke 6:31

Tags: Vacation, Holiday

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Be Careful What You Smile About

Contributed by James Snyder on Mar 20, 2021

Dr. James L. Snyder I am a student of smileology and have been just about all my life. If you can't smile at something, it's not worth thinking about. Of course, certain things in life are serious, but not that many. Too many people take everything seriously and ruin their life. These are ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 4:4-5

Tags: Humor, Facebook, Lockedout

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Where Do Wrinkles Come From?

Contributed by James Snyder on Jun 12, 2021

Several months ago, I had two cataracts removed from my eyes. How they got there, I don't know. As far as I can remember, they never asked my permission, and furthermore, they never paid rent for being there. According to the eye doctor, and doctors are never wrong, I now have 2020 vision. ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 5:8

Tags: Plastic Surgery, Wrinkles

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Doctors Are Always Right

Contributed by James Snyder on May 21, 2022

Last year I suffered what is referred to as a heart attack. I got to the hospital in time, so there was no any major damage. I had one artery known as the "Widow Maker" that was 90% blocked, which seemed to be a very serious thing. Who knew I even had a heart, but doctors are always ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:9

Tags: Medical, Doctors

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What A Wacky World We Live In

Contributed by James Snyder on Apr 1, 2023

I like the old saying, “Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does.” This is the kind of world we live in today, and I’m still not adjusted to this sort of thing. I’m not sure I will ever adjust to the world around me. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I will be watching the ...read more

Tags: David, Crazy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Memories Can Be So Memorable

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 19, 2023

In growing older, I noticed a strange phenomenon. The older I get, the more I forget. I remember things that happened in my youth and the pressure of those memories is, are they true, or am I just making them up? I have nobody to verify those memories. I don’t think I will try to verify those ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 31:10-11

Tags: Memory, Weddings

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

You Break It, You Fix It

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 19, 2024

Every once in a while, I hear or see something that reminds me of my father. He’s been gone for over 15 years, but his memory is still fresh in my mind. His most famous saying, that I remember, was, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.” He lived that to the very end of his ...read more

Scripture: James 1:5-6

Tags: Wisdom, Fixing

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Excerpts From Saturday Evening Post Magazine ...  PRO

Contributed by Davon Huss on Feb 19, 2001

Excerpts From Saturday Evening Post Magazine article on Jack La Lanne: Fit for Life. At 86, Jack La Lanne has dipped, chinned, pushed, pulled, and lifted more often than anyone in recorded history. His present training regimen is tailor-made for only superheroes. While many of his contemporaries ...read more

Tags: Leadership General, Christian Disciplines, Church Body Of Christ

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Empty Chair  PRO

Contributed by Danny Thomas on May 21, 2001

The Empty Chair A man’s daughter had asked the local pastor to come and pray with her father. When the pastor arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows and an empty chair beside his bed. The priest assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit. ...read more

Tags: God Brings Hope, Promises Of God, Prayer How To, Peace

Denomination: Pentecostal

We Need To Understand That Our World Is A Fast ...  PRO

Contributed by Steve Malone on Sep 25, 2001

We need to understand that our world is a fast changing world. Change is not necessary bad - if fact change is normal - Change is really a sign of life. Do you know, what the medical definition of death is? a body that does not change... During my sermon your body is going to change - ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Tags: Change, Creation, Growth In Christ, Workplace

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Signs You Live In The Year 2001...  PRO

Contributed by Andrew Chan on Nov 30, 2001

SIGNS YOU LIVE IN THE YEAR 2001... 1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave. 2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 3. You call your son’s beeper to let him know it’s time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, "What’s for ...read more

Tags: Finding Fulfillment, Entertainment, Jesus Teachings

Denomination: Evangelical Free

Perpetual New Year's Resolutions  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 30, 2002

PERPETUAL NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t find the time. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Share a funny story with ...read more

Tags: New Year's Day, Bucketlist, Christian Values

I Recently Met A New Friend We'll Call Mike

Contributed by Brian Harvison on Apr 12, 2008

I recently met a new friend we’ll call Mike Mike told me his testimony Mike believed he was saved Was going through life as a saved man, but not really on fire for God Things that should have negatively affected him, his friends behavior, his environment , didn’t He just ignored those things and ...read more

Denomination: Baptist