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In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Jokes"

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  • An Unread Note Costs A Commander His ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 2, 2010
     | 1,974 views

    An Unread Note Costs A Commander His Army During the Revolutionary War, a loyalist spy appeared at the headquarters of Hessian commander Colonel Johann Rall, carrying an urgent message. General George Washington and his Continental [A]rmy had secretly crossed the Delaware River that morning and ...read more

  • The Miracle Birth

    Contributed by Tim Smith on Mar 17, 2011
     | 3,961 views

    THE MIRACLE BIRTH Mike Hermanstorfer was clutching his pregnant wife's hand in a Colorado hospital on Christmas Eve last year when she stopped breathing. Mike’s wife, Tracy, went into cardiac arrest during labor. Doctors told him, "We're going to take your son out now. We have been unable to ...read more

  • The Ring And The Carrot

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jan 9, 2012
     | 1,393 views

    THE RING AND THE CARROT "A Swedish woman who lost her wedding ring 16 years ago was flabbergasted when she found it again, around a carrot growing in her garden, media reported Saturday. Lena Paahlsson had taken off the white gold ring before a Christmas baking session with her daughters in 1995, ...read more

  • Irony

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 3, 2021
     | 1,686 views

    One definition of the word irony is, “a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.” • It is ironic, for example, that the most shop-lifted book is the Bible. • Every year ABC cuts down A Charlie Brown Christmas—a movie about ...read more

  • The Census At The Birth Of Jesus

    Contributed by Martin Spoelstra on Dec 9, 2023
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,165 views

    Historians have been puzzled about the census. The one taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria. While all this begins to explain why Mary and Joseph were in Bethlehem, Luke is making a point. The birth of this little boy is the beginning of a confrontation between the kingdom of God - in all its ...read more

  • Do I Need A New Mask For Halloween?

    Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 28, 2023
     | 583 views

    The older I get, the less patience I have for holidays. I certainly am not a holiday guru in any sense of the word. When I was younger, my favorite holiday was Christmas because of all the presents I got. I could never get enough gifts for Christmas. When I got older, got married and had ...read more

  • What Happened To My Little Piggy Bank

    Contributed by James Snyder on Sep 7, 2024
     | 498 views

    This week, I had to do something I hadn't done before: go to the bank and deal with fraud in my checking account. Someone tried to write a check for $1800 from my account. Fortunately, I didn't have that much money in my account, and I was a little provoked by this incident. How dare ...read more

  • No Excuse Sunday." Cots Will Be Placed In The ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sheila Crowe on Oct 11, 2002
    based on 15 ratings
     | 5,171 views

    "No Excuse Sunday." Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in." Murine will be available for those with tired eyes... from watching television too late on Saturday night. We will have steel helmets for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I ever ...read more

  • Too Far 78% Of Protestant Clergy Believe "The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 20, 2006
     | 1,452 views

    Too Far 78% of Protestant clergy believe “the separation of church and state has gone too far, or in ways it was never intended to go,” according to a new Ellison Research study in the 7-8/04 edition of Facts & Trends magazine. Just 8% of all Protestant clergy agree with the statement, “the ...read more

  • An Impressive Coat Of Wool

    Contributed by John Harvey on Dec 7, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,384 views

    Take for instance the story of Shrek. Now this is not about an ogre who is friends with a talking donkey, but about a wild sheep in New Zealand. Shrek was a young sheep when he escaped form his shepherd. This is not an uncommon occurrence, because sheep are notorious for wandering off. What is ...read more

  • One Year A Sunday School Was Putting On A ...  PRO

    Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Dec 15, 2006
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,680 views

    One year a Sunday School was putting on a Christmas pageant. One little boy really wanted the part of Joseph. However, when the parts were handed out, the part of Joseph was given to a boy he detested. Instead, he was assigned to play the inn-keeper instead. The little boy was pretty upset ...read more

  • My Child

    Contributed by Andy Beech on Mar 29, 2008
     | 1,547 views

    My Child I would like to rejoice with the rest, Lord, But there’s a great big ache in my heart - For someone I love is suffering, Lord, And I don’t know how to start. Will you help me sing carols again, Lord? And make all my fears depart? Will you lead me safely to Bethlehem To worship with all my ...read more

  • Every House Is Different

    Contributed by Troy Borst on Sep 17, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,699 views

    Every House is Different Traditionally in the Philippines, family is regarded as the highest priority, which is why there are no overcrowded orphanages or homes for the elderly. Traditionally at a wedding reception in Denmark, it is normal for the groom to disappear during part of the ceremony so ...read more

  • We Carve What We Already See

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 31, 2008
     | 1,564 views

    WE CARVE WHAT WE ALREADY SEE I heard the story once of a great Cherokee wood carver. He took logs and sat them on a stump outside his back door and sat in front of that log sometimes for hours just staring at it. Finally, he would pick up his carving tools and start carving the most beautiful of ...read more

  • Long Walk Part Of ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 28, 2009
     | 3,969 views

    "Long Walk Part of Gift" A young boy once came up to a missionary and said, “I love you and I want you to have this.” He pulled from a straw basket the most beautiful shell the missionary had ever seen. As she admired its beauty, she recognized it as a special shell only found on the far side of ...read more

  • God's Greatness

    Contributed by Ed Lu on Nov 26, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 7,998 views

    GOD'S GREATNESS Today it doesn’t take wars or persecutions to challenge our Christian faith or religious practices. No spears, no swords, no fiery torches or saddled horses to combat our religiosity. Sadly, these so called wars and battles among Christians are domesticated within the surrounding ...read more

  • Robes Of Righteousness

    Contributed by Suresh Manoharan on Feb 28, 2015
    based on 1 rating
     | 10,417 views

    Dr Ravi Zacharias came up with a true witty story of a New Zealand Shepherd who was happy on a Christmas morning, sad in the afternoon but once again happy in the evening. What exactly contributed to his mood swings? Here goes…in the morning two of his ewes’ “A” and “B” gave birth to two lambs “a” ...read more

  • Spiritual Zombies

    Contributed by John Bright on Feb 2, 2025
     | 173 views

    Ephesians 2:1-3 “2 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, 3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves ...read more

  • Isn't It Strange?, Unknown Author, Submitted By ...  PRO

    Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Mar 8, 2002
    based on 13 ratings
     | 2,452 views

    [Isn’t it Strange?, unknown author, submitted by Jerry Pearcy] Isn’t it strange how a 20 dollar bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church, but such a small amount when you go shopping? Isn’t it strange how endless an hour seems when we are serving God, but how short it is ...read more

  • Zig Ziglar On Politicians  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 2, 2002
    based on 8 ratings
     | 2,877 views

    Zig Ziglar On Politicians A "politician" has been described as a genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one hand left to pat you on the back and ask for your vote. Yes, as the saying goes, at one time in America we told political jokes ...read more