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In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Jokes"

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  • Someone Tells About A Pastor Who Was Late For ...  PRO

    Contributed by Dana Chau on Jul 1, 2003
    based on 6 ratings
     | 1,957 views

    Someone tells about a pastor who was late for church. He flagged down a taxicab and instructed the cabdriver to do everything within his power to get him to church on time. So the cab sped off and weaved through traffic for about ten blocks. The dangerous driving ended in a fatal accident. Both ...read more

  • Clark Cothern, Decision, Tells Of A Personal ...  PRO

    Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Oct 6, 2005
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,933 views

    Clark Cothern, Decision, tells of a personal experience he had had. “I once invited a friend, Gavin, to help my pastor and me guide 30 lively teens through an all-night "lock-in" at church. Early in the evening Gavin challenged me to a game of table tennis in the fellowship hall. Our game quickly ...read more

  • Dying For Someone Like That

    Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Aug 12, 2011
     | 2,657 views

    DYING FOR SOMEONE LIKE THAT During the war in Vietnam, a young West Point graduate was sent over to lead a group of new recruits into battle. He did his job well, trying his best to keep his recruits from ambush and death. But one night, when they had been under attack, he was unable to get one of ...read more

  • Loving Neighbour

    Contributed by Don Berry-Graham on Feb 29, 2016
     | 3,984 views

    A Little Pointer on Keeping a Balance Here’s a little bonus tip that I’ve found helpful to keep my wits about me as I live next to these wild Vikings we call sinners, pagans, and wacko unbelievers while keeping my vertical relationship with God strong. It’s called “whimsical holiness,” which is ...read more

  • Bad Day

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 23, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,229 views

    BAD DAY Brian Hise has had his share of bad stuff happen to him. In just a short time -- one day in July -- his apartment in Provo, Utah apartment became flooded because of an upstairs neighbor’s broken pipe. The manager instructed him to go out and rent a wet/dry vacuum. When he went out to his ...read more

  • As If I Didn’t Already Know

    Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 12, 2024
     | 444 views

    I've been accused of many things throughout my life, but never having a great memory. It's not that I don't try to remember things; I can't remember things I'm supposed to remember. It has nothing to do with my age because it started as far back as I can remember. This ...read more

  • David Peterson, Former Pastor At The First ...

    Contributed by David Ward on Dec 16, 2004
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,208 views

    David Peterson, former pastor at the First Presbyterian Church in Spokane, Washington, told about a time when he was preparing his sermon. His little daughter came in and said, "Daddy, can we play?" He answered, "I’m awfully sorry, Sweetheart, but I’m right in the middle of preparing this sermon. ...read more

  • They Tell Me The Story That Long Ago There Was A ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 16, 2005
    based on 6 ratings
     | 2,447 views

    They tell me the story that long ago there was a small church, in a small town, in a small county, where a small congregation had tried for years to get the biggest “sinner” in town, Sam, to come to church. Sam the sinner would have nothing to do with the church. He wouldn’t even come on Easter or ...read more

  • A Box Of Kisses

    Contributed by Christian Cheong on Dec 6, 2006
     | 1,646 views

    A BOX OF KISSES Some time ago, a father punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and he became angry when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next ...read more

  • Perhaps No Composer Has Captured The Musical ...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Mar 20, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,436 views

    Perhaps no composer has captured the musical heart and soul of America as did Irving Berlin. In addition to familiar favorites such as "God Bless America" and "Easter Parade," he wrote, "I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas," which still ranks as the all-time best-selling musical score. In an ...read more

  • You Know What It Reminds Me Of? Remember The ...

    Contributed by Sean Harder on Jun 25, 2009
     | 1,433 views

    You know what it reminds me of? Remember the first Indiana Jones Movie, where for several seconds this crazy and skilled guy is threatening Indiana by whirling this sword around with incredible flash, then in an instant, Jones calmly, with mild irritation, pulls out his gun and bang its over. ...read more

  • An Unread Note Costs A Commander His ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 2, 2010
     | 2,056 views

    An Unread Note Costs A Commander His Army During the Revolutionary War, a loyalist spy appeared at the headquarters of Hessian commander Colonel Johann Rall, carrying an urgent message. General George Washington and his Continental [A]rmy had secretly crossed the Delaware River that morning and ...read more

  • The Miracle Birth

    Contributed by Tim Smith on Mar 17, 2011
     | 4,160 views

    THE MIRACLE BIRTH Mike Hermanstorfer was clutching his pregnant wife's hand in a Colorado hospital on Christmas Eve last year when she stopped breathing. Mike’s wife, Tracy, went into cardiac arrest during labor. Doctors told him, "We're going to take your son out now. We have been unable to ...read more

  • The Ring And The Carrot

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jan 9, 2012
     | 1,480 views

    THE RING AND THE CARROT "A Swedish woman who lost her wedding ring 16 years ago was flabbergasted when she found it again, around a carrot growing in her garden, media reported Saturday. Lena Paahlsson had taken off the white gold ring before a Christmas baking session with her daughters in 1995, ...read more

  • Irony

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 3, 2021
     | 1,821 views

    One definition of the word irony is, “a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.” • It is ironic, for example, that the most shop-lifted book is the Bible. • Every year ABC cuts down A Charlie Brown Christmas—a movie about ...read more

  • We Need Hope

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 31, 2008
     | 3,205 views

    WE NEED HOPE Someone has said that if you could convince a man there was no hope, he would curse the day he was born. Hope is an indispensable quality of life. Dusk was falling on the Saturday before Christmas in 1927 the S-4 submarine (S-class submarines, were the first class of submarines built ...read more

  • The Census At The Birth Of Jesus

    Contributed by Martin Spoelstra on Dec 9, 2023
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,420 views

    Historians have been puzzled about the census. The one taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria. While all this begins to explain why Mary and Joseph were in Bethlehem, Luke is making a point. The birth of this little boy is the beginning of a confrontation between the kingdom of God - in all its ...read more

  • No Excuse Sunday." Cots Will Be Placed In The ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sheila Crowe on Oct 11, 2002
    based on 15 ratings
     | 5,364 views

    "No Excuse Sunday." Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in." Murine will be available for those with tired eyes... from watching television too late on Saturday night. We will have steel helmets for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I ever ...read more

  • Too Far 78% Of Protestant Clergy Believe "The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 20, 2006
     | 1,489 views

    Too Far 78% of Protestant clergy believe “the separation of church and state has gone too far, or in ways it was never intended to go,” according to a new Ellison Research study in the 7-8/04 edition of Facts & Trends magazine. Just 8% of all Protestant clergy agree with the statement, “the ...read more

  • An Impressive Coat Of Wool

    Contributed by John Harvey on Dec 7, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,477 views

    Take for instance the story of Shrek. Now this is not about an ogre who is friends with a talking donkey, but about a wild sheep in New Zealand. Shrek was a young sheep when he escaped form his shepherd. This is not an uncommon occurrence, because sheep are notorious for wandering off. What is ...read more