As If I Didn’t Already Know

I've been accused of many things throughout my life, but never having a great memory.

It's not that I don't try to remember things; I can't remember things I'm supposed to remember. It has nothing to do with my age because it started as far back as I can remember.

This dramatically affects my relationship with The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.

Her memory is perfect. She can remember things that actually never happened. How she does that is beyond my understanding. Trust me, I'm not going to ask her to explain it to me because then I would have to remember that explanation for the rest of my life. Some things are not worth remembering.

It's not so much that I don't remember things, I just am busy when things are happing. I don't remember what's happening when I'm watching TV because I'm busy doing something else. When The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is conversing with me, I don't remember everything because I'm busy doing something else.

When I was young, one of my favorite authors was James Thurber, who wrote the short story "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty," which later became a movie.

When Thurber was young, he and his brother played a game called "William Tell," which I had never heard of before but somehow involved bows and arrows. In the middle of that game, his brother, by mistake, shot an arrow hitting Thurber in the left eye, causing him to lose that eye. Later, his other eye suffered, and he was almost completely blind.

Thurber was a writer, and most of his writing was done in his head. Then, the next morning, he would sit down with his secretary, and she would write out the story as Thurber would dictate it to her.

Often, when Thurber and his wife were having dinner with some friends, his wife would say, "Jim, will you stop writing and listen to what we're saying?" Of course, he was always working on some short story wherever he was.

Although I am not blind, I often do the same thing. I'm always working on a sermon, a newspaper column, or an article in my head even when I'm with others. I might be watching TV, visiting friends at some restaurant or just sitting at home with my wife.

I can remember just about everything I'm writing in my head which I will write out later. That technique, which I learned from James Thurber, has greatly profited me. However, it has also hindered me in the social area.

Even though I can remember what I was working on in my head at the time, I can't remember the conversation with people around me. I can never figure that out.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage often says, "Do you remember what I told you yesterday?"

That is a question to ponder. Whether I say yes or no, I'm still in some trouble.

Now, if she said something like, "Do you remember what you were thinking last week when we were at dinner with some of our friends?"

I would remember almost to the word what I was thinking, but the talk around the table is beyond my recollection.

Even while watching television, something will happen on some program, which will get me thinking about the sermon I'm working on. Pretty soon, I'll be working on that sermon and laying out details. I call it my thinking cloud.

While watching TV together, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage sometimes laughs and says, "Did you hear that? Wasn't that funny?"

I will look at her, laugh and say, "That was hilarious."

Once, she looked back at me and said, "Did you really hear that joke?"

She knew I didn't hear that joke. Now, if she would say, "What were you thinking about when they told that joke?" I would immediately begin to respond and tell her what I was thinking.

I have so much work to do that I need to take advantage of every bit of time to work on it. I don't necessarily have to be at my computer but as long as my brain is working, so am I.

Whenever we have dinner with friends, I look forward to the next morning. During that dinner, my head is swarming with ideas and thoughts about a project I'm working on.

One of these days, I'm going to thank those people for giving me the opportunity to think through a project I'm working on.

On occasion, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I are on a trip across town.

While driving the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage will look over at me and say, “Ok, what are you thinking?”

Because I’m thinking I don’t hear her at first. Finally, she gets my attention and I once replied, “Oh, I was just thinking of what a wonderful, lovely, gracious wife I have. I’m so fortunate.”

She has a hard time responding to that. Great thought.

A verse of scripture came to mind. Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

God knows what I’m thinking all the time. I want to discipline myself to have thoughts that honor and please God. To think about God is the great pleasure of being a Christian.