Contributed by Scott Jensen on Oct 8, 2008
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Before performing a baptism, the pastor approached the young
father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are
you prepared for it?"
"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers
and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and
cakes for all of our guests."
"I
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 29, 2010
based on 1 rating
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Married for many years, Paul had been ignored by his wife, Liz, for some days, so eventually he confronted her with what he perceived as the problem.
'Come on Liz, admit it,' he ranted, 'You only married me because my granddad left me $6 million, didn't you?'
'You really are silly, Paul,' retorted
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 1 rating
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There was a man waiting in line at a CHECK-OUT STAND. He seemed AGITATED and IMPATIENT and had a very SOLEMN and GLOOMY look on his face. When the CHEERY young woman at the check-out said, “Good morning” the man just GRUNTED. The woman was trying to loosen the man up by JOKING with him, but it was
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Contributed by Kent Kessler on Dec 27, 2006
"Fa-who-for-ay; da-who-dor-ay; welcome, Christmas, come this way; Fa-who-for-ay; da-who-dor-ay; welcome, Christmas, Christmas day."
They continued, singing,
"Christmas day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp."
The Grinch could hardly believe his ears.
He begins to get furious, but
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Denomination:
Methodist
Harmful talk:
I remember years ago, standing at the church door next to the sr. minister greeting people at the end of the service. This one guy, every week would come up to the minister and say, “Pastor, you’d better keep your eye on that youth minister or some day he’ll have your job.” Now, he
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
ECONOMY FUNNIES
Even as dark clouds of depression hang somberly above the American economy (is anyone not aware?), we do see some "silver linings" of humour in them.
For instance take this self-deprecatory cartoon humour of a bulging, balding entrepreneur quite used to striking big business
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*other
Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Dec 14, 2009
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GULLIBLE EVE
My sister was a great story teller. She still is. She would tell a story so convincingly that I would believe it. A number of times her stories would trick me into giving her my pocket money, and at other times she would bring me to the edge of tears with a story that was just pure
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Warner Pidgeon on Dec 19, 2007
based on 1 rating
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(Thanks to Dennis O’Gorman for this illustration). Ernie Smith was a bit odd, but he was a good man. For Ernie every day was Christmas. Each day he switched on his Christmas tree lights. His house was full of cards.
As he passed people in the street he would wish them a Happy Christmas! On
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Denomination:
Anglican
Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Dec 29, 2009
UNLIKELY PREDICTIONS
Toronto Maple Leafs – rough start to their Season. First eight games were loses. Then hope was born... we got Phil Kessel of the Boston Bruins! Haven’t won the cup since 1967 – yes, I was only 5 years old. People laugh. Leaf jokes are now hotter than Newfie jokes!
Things are
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Denomination:
Salvation Army
Contributed by Dan Waite on Nov 25, 2005
based on 3 ratings
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“The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” C. S. Lewis noted that the effect of the rule of the White Witch, which represents evil, is to cause it to be “always winter but never Christmas.”
Winter eventually wears on even those who love it. It becomes burdensome and is occasionally
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Denomination:
Free Methodist
Contributed by Michael Wiley on Jan 7, 2009
John 3:16
Introduction:
Finished Shopping? What kind of gifts are you looking for? We look for gifts for Christmas that show our love for others.
Joke; one man asked another, “what are you getting your wife?” “I’ll wrap myself.” “I’m not getting my wife much either.”
ILL Little Sammy Williams
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 9, 2008
based on 4 ratings
| 6,482 views
OOPS...
Bill, Jim and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.
After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their
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Sermon Central