In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Humor" showing 981-1,000 of 1,791

God Is Missing!!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 15, 2020

Two young boys in a Christian school had been continually mis-behaving and were sent to the principal’s office on several occasions. The principal knew what they really needed was to have God in their lives, so she brought the first boy in and set him down. “I want to ask you a question. Where is ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 11:28-30, Psalm 46:10, John 3:16, Romans 5:8

Tags: Humor, God's Love, Guilt, Unconfessed Sin, Confusion  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Is Jonah In Heaven Or Not?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

Atheist to girl: “You don’t believe there is a real Jonah who was swallowed by a whale do you? No one believes that stuff any more!” Girl – “I sure do, and when I get to Heaven, I’m going to find Jonah and talk to him about it!" Then the atheist laughed and said mockingly, “And what if ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Humor, Miracles, Atheists, Bible, Faith, Jonah, Preaching  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Funny Thanksgiving Joke To Share!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 18, 2021

A FUNNY THANKSGIVING JOKE TO SHARE! A retiree in Florida phones his daughter in New Jersey and says, “Honey, I have bad news for you. Your mother and I have decided that 52 years of marriage is enough. We’re calling it quits and getting a divorce.” His daughter yells, “Are you crazy? What the ...read more

Tags: Sermon Introduction, Funny Stories, Thanksgiving, Humor, Jokes  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Good News, Bad News Laughs

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

Good News: You baptised seven people today in the river.Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The women's group voted to send you a get-well card.Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking. Bad News: They are ...read more

Tags: Jokes, Sermons, Sermon Introductions, Humor, Pastors, Churches  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Praying The Alphabet!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 12, 2022

A father walked by his daughter’s bedroom door which was cracked just enough so that he could see that she was kneeling beside her bed in prayer. Interested to find out what subjects a child would bring before God, he paused and listened. He was puzzled though to hear her reciting the alphabet: ...read more

Tags: Prayer, Humor, Lord's Prayer, Jokes, Needs, Children  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Here's A Funny New Approach To Evangelism!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 10, 2022

There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So. the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, "Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door." Soon after ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:8

Tags: Barbers, Evangelism, Gospel, Humor, Sermon Intro, Witnessing  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Where I Used To Go To Church!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on May 4, 2022

A man was stranded on a deserted Pacific island for years. Finally, one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper’s attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After a while the sailor asks, ...read more

Tags: Worship, Strife, Division, Church Splits, Church, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Don't Do Road Rage If You Have A Christian Bumper Sticker!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on May 29, 2022

I love the story of the stressed-out woman who was tailgating a man as they drove on a busy boulevard. When he slowed to a stop at a yellow light, the woman hit the horn, cussing and screaming in frustration and gesturing angrily. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and ...read more

Tags: Humor, Hypocrisy, Police, Obedience, Satan, Stress, Testimony  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

If Marriage Is That Much Work....

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 23, 2022

Because of a shortage of maids, the minister’s wife advertised for a male servant to help around the house. The next morning, a nicely dressed young man came to the front door of the parsonage. The minister opened the door and jumped right into the conversation. "Can you start breakfast by 7 ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:18-31

Tags: Work, Marriage, Love, Singles, Engagement, Humor, Fiancee  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Worst Dad Joke Ever

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jul 17, 2023

I usually begin every one of my Sunday sermons with a funny story to get our congregation comfortable before I begin to dive in deeply to the Word of God. If you like dad jokes or puns (old name) and you want to make your congregation groan a little bit.........check this dad joke out! CHESS ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 17:22, Galatians 5:22-23

Tags: Dad Jokes, Happiness, Humor, Medicine, Laughter, Joy  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

When I Passed Out Preaching On Death!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 25, 2024

I met Christ as my personal Lord and Savior when I was 15 years old. I had grown up in church and had faithfully gone to church 3 or 4 times per week my whole life......but I did not have a personal relationship with Jesus. After trusting Him as my Savior, I felt that God spoke to my heart ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 9:27

Tags: Death, Heaven, Preaching, Humor, Pastors, Churches, Fainting  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

When A Thief Was Surprised At Church!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 13, 2023

When I was pastoring in Texas, something strange happened one Christmas that I will never stop laughing about. Because it was a Christmas holiday, we were at home with our family taking a break from our normal ministry schedule. We did not go to the church campus for the weekend. But, while we ...read more

Scripture: Malachi 3:10-11, Proverbs 3:9-10, 1 Timothy 6:10, 1 Corinthians 16:1-2

Tags: Stealing, Surprises, Tithing, Robbing God, Pastors, Church, Giving, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Most Christians Believe The Virgin Birth Is ...  PRO

Contributed by James Wilson on Dec 17, 2000

Most Christians believe the Virgin Birth is true. According to George Barna, 85% of those surveyed believe that Jesus Christ was born to a virgin. He also found that even 75% of the people who do not embrace Jesus as their Savior believe that he was ...read more

Scripture: John 1:1-14

Tags: Mary Jesus Mother, Apologetics Jesus, Christmas

Denomination: Baptist

There Was A Art Contest Held In A Local School ...  PRO

Contributed by Kyle Meador on Dec 18, 2000

There was a art contest held in a local school one Christmas season a few years ago in East Texas. One of the prize winners was a picture drawn by a nine year old boy showing three men, offering gifts to the baby Jesus in his manger. What made the picture unique is how the three gift presenters ...read more

Scripture: John 1:14-18, Matthew 2:1-2

Tags: Christmas, Communication General, Communication, Birth Of Jesus

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Little Girl Was Pushing The Limits Of Her ...  PRO

Contributed by Russell Brownworth on Dec 21, 2000

A little girl was pushing the limits of her mother’s very last nerve. Mom was nearing the end of a hectic season of cooking, cleaning, shopping, wrapping and church stuff. She was also nearing the breaking point with her little pre-schooler. Finally the little girl was bathed and ready for bed. ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:14, Luke 2:12-15

Tags: Peace, Christian Disciplines, Christmas Advent, Tabernacle

Denomination: United Methodist

Wally Was A 7th Grade Student Who Was Bigger Than ...  PRO

Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 6, 2001

Wally was a 7th grade student who was bigger than any of the other students in his Sunday school class. His mother had been an alcoholic when he was born, & as a result, Wally just did not have all the mental capabilities that the rest of his classmates had. But somehow he managed to get ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:7

Tags: Christmas Eve, Jesus Teachings, Lordship Of Christ

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

I Believe That A Picture Of Jesus' Birth Has Been ...  PRO

Contributed by Jim Kane on Dec 3, 2001

I believe that a picture of Jesus’ birth has been painted throughout the years of a quiet and calm night in which everything was still and hushed. I don’t think so. Let’s think about if for a moment. What if every man in this country had to go back to his hometown on January 31, 2010 and register ...read more

Tags: Birth Of Jesus, Christmas Eve, Humanity Of Christ

Denomination: Church Of God

Frank Shaut Jr. Told Me That He Arranged For Him ...  PRO

Contributed by Aaron Burgess on Dec 29, 2001

Frank Shaut Jr. told me that he arranged for him and his wife Heather to honeymoon in the beautiful Poconos in Pennsylvania. The town nearest the Poconos is a small village Bethlehem, PA. And so Frank called to reserve a room but he was told that the only hotel in Bethlehem, PA was full for a ...read more

Tags: Birth Of Jesus, Christmas Eve, Messianic Prophecies

Denomination: Independent/Bible

In 1994 Two Americans Answered An Invitation From ...  PRO

Contributed by Jim Kane on Jan 1, 2002

In 1994 two Americans answered an invitation from the Russian Department of Education to teach morals and ethics (based on Biblical principles) in the public schools. They were invited to teach at prisons, businesses, the fire and police departments, and a large orphanage. It was nearing the ...read more

Tags: Christmas Advent, Descriptions Of God, Promises Of God

Denomination: Church Of God

Communion In Your ‘civvies'  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 13, 2002

COMMUNION IN YOUR ‘CIVVIES’ Janet Daley writes in the UK Telegraph about a “movement among Church of England clergy in favour of going into civvies.” One of the things that the Church of England Synod is debating is the agitation some are having for dress-down Sundays, which would allow the vicar ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 16:6-7, Hebrews 13:1-16

Tags: Christmas, Hope, Humanity Of Christ, Lord's Supper