A small boy was talking with his mother and said, "How old do I have to be to stay up late on a school night?"
His mother replied, "About eighteen."
"Oh good!" the boy said. "I'm old enough now!"
"How do you figure that? Mom said. "Last time I checked, you were only eleven."
"Well," the boy
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Church Of God
Contributed by Brian Harvison on Aug 16, 2008
based on 4 ratings
| 1,925 views
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The light was red, but they went on through. The woman on the passenger seat thought to herself,
"I must be losing it; I could have sworn we just
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Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 26, 2009
based on 1 rating
| 3,641 views
I DON’T REMEMBER
An elderly man moved into a retirement community. It wasn’t long until he had made a number of friends among the other residents. There was one lady he was especially attracted to and she was attracted to him, also. They spent a lot of time together. Finally one evening he
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Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Apr 7, 2010
STILL GOING STRONG
I was speaking to a man yesterday who is 95 years old. He still has all his mental faculties and is fascinating to speak with. Many old people can be rigid in their thinking but he has an ability to be flexible, and when you speak with him, you know that He has a deep
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Nov 14, 2010
LIFE EXPECTANCIES
The highest present-day life expectancy belongs to the women in Norway (77 years) and the men in Sweden (72 years).
In most European countries and the Americas, men and women can expect to live to be over 60. On the other hand, most African countries report life expectancy of
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*other
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 15, 2010
THE £1.50 HEARING AID
An elderly man stopped at a hearing aid centre and asked about prices. The salesman said, "We have them from £25,000 down to £1.50."
"What's the £25,000 one like?"
The salesman said, "Well, it translates three languages."
"And what about the one for £1.50?"
"It's this
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Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 21, 2010
GREY HAIRS
A little girl sat on the bed pestering her mum with questions while mum was in a hurry to get changed and go out. Watching her mother looking in the mirror and plucking out the grey hairs on her head she asked, "Mummy, why do you have some grey hairs?"
Her mother replied, "Because
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Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 23, 2010
You know when you are growing old when...
* Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work,
* Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
* Your back goes out more often than you do.
* You know all the answers but no one asks the questions.
* Your mind makes agreements your body can't keep.
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Denomination:
Brethren
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