In Sermon Illustrations: "70 Weeks"

Baptized Cucumbers  PRO

Contributed by Thomas Donelan on Oct 12, 2010

BAPTIZED CUCUMBERS What is this (a cucumber), and what is this (a pickle?) No, it is a baptized Cucumber! A few thoughts on this: 1. When those cucumbers are put in that pickling jar and covered with the pickling juice and sealed, they do not get any more juice, they are heated and stored for ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 28:19-20

Tags: Holy Spirit Baptism

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Don't Be Impatient

Contributed by Tim White on Apr 15, 2013

DON'T BE IMPATIENT When I was a teen-ager, my mom finally gave in to my dad. After mom and dad bought our Christmas, dad talked mom into allowing us to open the gifts days, sometimes weeks early. He couldn’t wait until we opened our gifts. The problem is that it took a lot of the joy out of ...read more

Tags: Time

Denomination: Baptist

Drive-Thru Fellowship  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 21, 2014

DRIVE-THRU FELLOWSHIP This week I read a story about a pastor traveling with a Brazilian seminary student. Along the way the pastor asked the student if he would like to stop for a cup of coffee. The student said, "I would be honored." So he swung into a Starbucks, went through the drive-thru. ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:42-47

Tags: Fellowship, Sharing Life

Don't Eat The Peanuts!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 20, 2019

A pastor went to call on one of the elderly widows of his church. While visiting with her, he noticed a big bowl of shelled peanuts on the coffee table. During the long conversation with the little old widow, the pastor began nibbling on the peanuts and soon the entire bowl was empty! The ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:7

Tags: Humor, Pastors, Jokes, Deception, Hospitality  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Burning The Turkey

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 25, 2019

But what if you burn the bird? There is a positive way of looking at it: • Salmonella won't be a concern • No one will overeat. • Everyone will think it's Cajun Blackened. • Uninvited guests will think twice next year. • Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newly found ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 103:1-5

Tags: Thanksgiving, Turkey, Thanksgiving Humor

Denomination: Independent/Bible

1) Atom: The Actual Material Of An Atom Is About ...  PRO

Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Sep 28, 2002

1) ATOM: The actual material of an atom is about 1/trillionth of the volume. Meaning it is a lot of little orbits. If you compressed would make 1/trillions of original size; TAKE ME – squeeze all the space out(space between ears) would fit on head of a pin. 1 100 millionth of a cubic inch. ...read more

Tags: Creation, Divinity Of Christ

There Once Was A Little Three Year Old Girl Who ...  PRO

Contributed by Joel Pankow on Jul 17, 2003

There once was a little three year old girl who had always enjoyed the soft and gentle voice of her father. In her eyes her father was the most loving and kind man in the world. She loved it when he held her in his arms and cradled her. In the eyes of the world, even though her father was very ...read more

Tags: Forgiveness In Jesus, God The Father

Denomination: Lutheran

It Was 1972 And A Rugby Team From Uruguay Was ...

Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on Nov 23, 2003

It was 1972 and a Rugby team from Uruguay was flying over the Andes mountains to play in a championship game. But on the way the plane crashes into a mountain. A film was made that details the ordeal entitled Alive. Of the 45 passengers, which included the team and some of their family members, ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:8-12

Tags: Examples Of Faith, Faith General

Denomination: Methodist

In 1997, Reilly Rankin, Was An All-American ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

In 1997, Reilly Rankin, was an all-American golfer as a freshman at the University of Georgia. In her sophomore year, she was set back by an appendectomy, hernia repair and treatment for endometriosis. Having recovered from these procedures, her and a group of friends ventured out onto Lake Martin, ...read more

Tags: Cross Agony

In 1997, Reilly Rankin, Was An All-American ...

Contributed by Rob Culler on May 1, 2007

In 1997, Reilly Rankin, was an all-American golfer as a freshman at the University of Georgia. In her sophomore year, she was set back by an appendectomy, hernia repair and treatment for endometriosis. Having recovered from these procedures, her and a group of friends ventured out onto Lake ...read more

Denomination: Assembly Of God

How Did We Ever Survive As ...

Contributed by Paul Collins on Sep 7, 2009

How Did We Ever Survive as Kids? April 11, 2009 — Quick Daily Hits - rbs Born before 1980? TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930’s 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s… • After we were born, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. • We had no ...read more

Tags: Change

Denomination: Baptist

The Impact Of Fatherlessness  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 11, 2011

THE IMPACT OF FATHERLESSNESS Several years ago the TV show 60 Minutes ran a segment that tells us something important about fatherlessness. The park rangers at a South African wildlife preserve were concerned about the slaughter of 39 rare white rhinos in their park. It turned out that the rhinos ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 4:14-21

Tags: Father's Day

Herod The Great

Contributed by Martin Spoelstra on Dec 15, 2023

"In modern research on Herod, the most discussed issue concerns the impact of his reign on his Jewish subjects. Opinions vary. Some scholars paint a picture of a cruel tyrant, even a maniac suffering from a personality disorder, who introduced the ancient version of a Gestapo state with an ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 2:1-13

Tags: Christmas, Herod The Great, King Herod, Wisemen, Wiseman  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

If Every Dog Has Its Day I Should Be Barking

Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 2, 2019

Lately, I have been getting behind in my work schedule. Just when I think I am caught up, I discover something I had forgotten about. If only I could forget what I forgot, I would be happy. I am pretty close to being a master at the “O, I simply forgot about that” excuse. Getting away with it ...read more

Scripture: Luke 6:38

Tags: Relationships, Stewartship

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Q: How Many Lawyers Does It Take To Change A ...  PRO

Contributed by Ted Sutherland on Oct 1, 2001

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: How many can you afford? Q: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one but it will take a million years. Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but the bulb has got to ...read more

Tags: Love Of The Disciples

Denomination: Baptist

My Daughter Served As A Camp Counselor This ...  PRO

Contributed by Sheila Crowe on Aug 26, 2003

My daughter served as a camp counselor this summer. It is a camp in which there are several camps contained in one location. She was a gap counselor and therefore served in several different ones. One camp is called Camp Sparrowood. It is a camp for the mentally challenged ages 8-99. She was ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 2:20

Tags: Love Of The Disciples, Discipleship

Denomination: United Methodist

Bad Judges Have Highlighted The News More Than ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

Bad judges have highlighted the news more than ever the last few months as investigations into rulings doled out to child predators have revealed so many judges exercising extreme lenience that is not helping our kids safety. It’s one thing for a judge to be merciful, but quite another thing to ...read more

Tags: Parable Widow

Twenty-Six Men Standing

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 14, 2011

TWENTY-SIX MEN STANDING A missionary on furlough told this true story while visiting his home church in MI. "While serving at a small field hospital in Africa, every 2 weeks I traveled by bicycle through the jungle to the nearest large city for supplies. This was a journey of 2 days and required ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 6:18

Tags: Prayer Answered

Sarah's Vase  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 21, 2011

SARAH'S VASE Just like life comes in the place of death, so honor comes in the place of service. Pediatrician David Cerqueira tells the story of a little girl in his wife's Sunday School class. His wife had prepared a lesson on being useful and told the children that everyone can be useful in ...read more

Scripture: John 12:23-26, Mark 14:1-9

Tags: Servanthood

God Will Go Before You!

Contributed by Bala Samson on Oct 17, 2014

I will go ahead of you! Exodus 17:6”Behold, I will stand before you there on the rock at Horeb, and you shall strike the rock, and water shall come out of it, and the people will drink..” I simply love these words! God would go before us to prepare the place of miracle! Moses struck the rock but ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 17:6

Tags: Miracles, Trust In God, God Before You, Never Alone

Denomination: Pentecostal