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On the lighter side of life:
Proverbs from Fourth Graders
A 4th grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what they came up with:
Better to be safe than punch a 5th grader
Strike
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Information from Rev. Bruce Goettsche:
You have probably heard the phrase many times, "timing is everything". There is a great deal of truth in that statement. The difference between a good joke and a bad one is a person’s sense of timing. An appropriate pause makes a joke . . . an inappropriate
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Quote: The earliest recorded philosophy of time was expounded by Ptahhotep, who lived c. 2650–2600 BCE said: "Do not lessen the time of following desire, for
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Never Surrender“
"We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air. We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we
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"Never Give In"
"This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."
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The devils greatest hold on the church and the body of believers in these times are the lies and fear he perpetuates concerning the gifts of the spirit, reject this and
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Opening Timer Illustration: Set timer for 30 minutes – Did you know - What happens in 30 minutes? “Mission Maker Magazine”, page 18, Edition 2008, (www.WorldChristianDatabase.org).
7,764 souls began life in the world
3,444 souls meet Jesus face-to-face
3,420 baptisms occurred in foreign
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Case in point: One of the biggest fools in US Government History was Thomas Jefferson: He and George Washington did not agree on much because of his twisted and distorted religious beliefs:
Thomas Jefferson had bought into the lie of the Enlightenment, French promoted Age of Reason and he
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Illustration: I actually typed into Google the words “I hate my life!”
1. I was shocked how many I hate my life websites came up!
2. Here is the opening page of one website:
You’re having a bad day. We want to know about it.
Maybe your agony exceeds ours. That could be interesting. Because
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Contributed by Jason Duncan on Oct 30, 2007
C.S. Lewis once wrote that “The sins of the flesh are bad, but they are the least bad of all sins. All the worst pleasures are purely spiritual: the pleasure of putting other people in the wrong, of bossing and patronizing; . . . the pleasures of power, of hatred. For there are two things inside
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Contributed by Jason Duncan on Oct 30, 2007
We can never gain an accurate measurement of our own morality and righteousness by comparing ourselves to other people. It’s a bit like measuring out a mile with a 12 inch ruler. Chances are the mile that you think you’ve marked out with that ruler won’t really be anywhere close to an actual
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Contributed by Jason Duncan on Oct 30, 2007
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A few weeks ago I spent a lot of time watching Ken Burn’s documentary called The War on PBS. The documentary ran for 7 nights and was about 14 ½ hours long. It chronicled the history of WWII not through the eyes of historians or professors but through the eyes of the men who served in Germany and
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Contributed by Chris Willis on Oct 30, 2007
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Sometimes as pastors we can be susceptible to rare gaffes. So its no surprise that the story is told about the baptism of a King by St. Patrick in the middle of the fifth century. Sometime during the ritual, St. Patrick leaned on his sharp-pointed staff and inadvertently stabbed the king’s foot.
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Contributed by Warren Lamb on Oct 23, 2007
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I want to share a story from Reader’s Digest, December 2002, which was taken from a story by Lee Hill Kavanaugh, of the Kansas City Star. It goes like this:
Perry Bice turned off the engine but remained behind the wheel. Parked in his driveway was a wheelchair-accessible van, a huge red and gold
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Contributed by Chris Willis on Oct 23, 2007
Mark Twain was a brilliant writer who used his fair share of idioms, and he used our idiom this morning when he wrote Pudd’nhead Wilson in 1894. This is what he wrote, Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" which is but a manner of saying, "Scatter your money and your
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Contributed by Tom Shepard on Oct 22, 2007
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Soren Kierkagaard said, “I went into church and sat on the velvet pew. I watched as the sun came shining through the stained glass windows. The minister dressed in a velvet robe opened the golden gilded Bible, marked it with a silk bookmark and said, ‘If any man will be my disciple, said Jesus, let
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Illustration: My timer is set for 30 minutes again: You may be thinking, “How many people will die in the world in 30 minutes?” The answer is 3,240 people. But here is a major problem - It is estimated that only 7% of the world’s population is ready to go to Heaven. That means 3,024 go to Hell
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When I was at the KTIS pastor’s appreciation dinner last week – Dr. Gary Smalley shared how he was a recovering Hedon. He defined that hedonism is the old playboy philosophy of life. When I typed in the word Hedonism on a google search to attain its definition a website came up called “Hedonistic
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Swindoll states, “Those who write and photograph pornography don’t tell us beforehand that it is empty, it is futile, it is dissatisfying, it is lacking in fulfillment. We’re left to discover that on our own. But Solomon tells us to begin with that in mind
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Hands on illustration:
Have a timer with on the pulpit – set it for 30 minutes in front of everyone. The lesson from the timer is what motivated Solomon to write the book of Ecclesiastes because time was running out for him and for many others. It made him think about eternity and where he was
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