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HONORING OUR FATHERS

I believe there is something in us--a law written on our hearts--that says, "Honor your father and mother." That’s how it’s stated in the Bible, but you’ll find it in all of the world’s religions. The ancient Chinese Analects advise, "surely proper behaviour to parent and elder brothers is the [tree] trunk of goodness."

We must consciously attempt, first of all, to find the good in our fathers, no matter how badly they seemed to have fathered us. To put a spin on Marc Antony’s cry: "We have not come to bury our fathers under the dirt of our accusations; we’ve come to praise them for what we have discovered in them, and for what they have given us." What our fathers did right is every bit as important as what they did wrong.

If, as C.S. Lewis wrote, "fatherhood must be at the core of the universe," then disrespect for a father means engaging...

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