Sermon Central
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Actually My Wife Laurel Found Something At ... PRO
Contributed by Scott Bradford on Apr 13, 2005 (message contributor)
Actually my wife Laurel found something at Hastings the other day that might be able to help us out: "Its called "Wash Away Your Sins - Soul Saver Pack"... "For liars, cheaters, and wrong-doers."
"It says its Bishop tested" and "Cardinal approved". Its contents are two bottles and an instruction book:
One bottle: "Holy Water" are for those little sins: "1) Remove cap - 2) Pour into palm - 3) Admit wrong doing - 4) Think pure thoughts - 5) Anoint forehead and - 6) Go fourth purged from sin, ready to do it again."
The second bottle: "Bubble bath" are for those more major sins: "1) Kneel before thy tub - 2) Reflect upon wrong doing - 3) Run warm bath water - 4) Pour in enough bubble bath to equal your sins "(I would need a 55 gal. drum)" - 5) Soak in blessed bubble - 6) Arise cleansed from sin, and ready to do it again." The instruction book adds "that you should soak 3 minutes for each deadly sin committed." Though you are to soak "15 minutes per each large deadly sin committed". Now if you commit an "extra large mortal sin", "which includes lying to your mother" then you must "add two capsuls of holy water", "soak for twenty minutes" and when exiting the bath "annoint your forehead with the blessed holy water".
Now if this were reality, we would at least know the sinners, because they...
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Even If You Never Saw The Movie "A Few Good Men," ... PRO
Contributed by Mary Lewis on Aug 6, 2003
Even if you never saw the movie “A Few Good Men,” you’re probably familiar with one scene. Tom Cruise plays a military lawyer and is interrogating tough-guy Jack Nicholson. Cruise is getting nowhere and finally yells, “I WANT THE TRUTH!” And Jack Nicholson shouts back. “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE ...read more
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Have You Ever Thought Any Deep Thoughts About ... PRO
Contributed by Bruce Ball on Jan 16, 2005
Have you ever thought any deep thoughts about rubber bands? I have. In fact, I had one of those great big rubber bands that I was going to bring up here, but somewhere along the way, I either mislaid it or lost it. I was going to bring it up here and drape it over this corner right here, and I ...read more
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What Is 750,000 Miles Long, Reaches Around The ... PRO
Contributed by Guy Glass on Jul 23, 2003
What is 750,000 miles long, reaches around the earth 30 times, and grows 20 miles longer each day? Give up? Here’s the ...read more
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When The Blacksmith Strikes His Hammer ...
Contributed by Brad Beaman on Jul 21, 2003
When the blacksmith strikes his hammer repeatedly on the anvil it is said that the same anvil will wear out many hammers. Those who strike Christians are creating boldness in the body of Christ. When Christians are persecuted there is more ...read more
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Blaise Pascal Observed, "Truth Is So Obscure In ... PRO
Contributed by Mary Lewis on Aug 6, 2003
Blaise Pascal observed, “Truth is so obscure in these times, and falsehood so established, that, unless ...read more
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