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An Old Civil War Veteran Used To Wander Around ... PRO
Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Dec 4, 2003 (message contributor)
An old civil war veteran used to wander around begging for food and a place to stay. He would always talk about his good friend, ‘Mr. Lincoln’.
He had been hurt in the war and was unable to hold a regular job but had pride in a letter from the president which he was not even able to read.
‘You say you knew Lincoln? Prove it!’ The old man pulled out the paper. ‘Here, I have this paper that he signed and gave me’.
He took out an old paper folded many times. ‘Do you know what you have here old man?’ ‘You have a generous federal pension authorized...
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A Man Wanted To See Buckingham Palace. His Guide ... PRO
Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Aug 25, 2005
A man wanted to see Buckingham Palace. His guide took him to the gate. “Oh, I don’t mean here. I want inside.” “I’m sorry sir,” replied the guide, “I don’t have ...read more
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A Woman Decided To Have Her Portrait Painted. She ... PRO
Contributed by Thomas Black on Jan 28, 2005
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied. "I know," she said. "It’s in case I should die before my husband. ...read more
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Road Rage
Contributed by Tom Burkholder on Sep 2, 2005
Illustration: “Road Rage” By Dan Betzer It happened just a couple of blocks from my study yesterday afternoon; it was about 4 o’clock with rush hour traffic. Iti our burgeoning county, it sometimes seems like every car on earth is in my lane. A young fellow kept weaving in and out of traffic, ...read more
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Nobody To Forgive Me PRO
Contributed by Donnie Martin on May 9, 2002
Nobody to Forgive Me Not long before she died in 1988, in a moment of surprising candor in television, Marghanita Laski, one of our best-known secular humanists and novelists, said, “What I envy most about you Christians is your ...read more
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On Her 60th Birthday, A Woman From Brooklyn ... PRO
Contributed by David Parks on Oct 21, 2004
On her 60th birthday, a woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her last will and testament. She went to her rabbi to make two final requests: First, she insisted on cremation. “What is your second request?” the rabbi asked. “I want my ashes scattered over Bloomingdale’s.” “Bloomingdale’s. Why ...read more
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