-
The Gift That Goes From Zero To 200 In Six Seconds!
Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 29, 2023 (message contributor)
Here’s a funny story for a sermon introduction when you are preaching to your men about remembering special days for the wife and family.
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really upset. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds, and, buster, IT BETTER BE THERE!!”
The next morning, Bob got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and saw a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, she put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened the box and was totally shocked when she found a brand new BATHROOM SCALE which can definitely go from 0 to 200 in seconds!!!.
Please pray for Bob......he has been missing since Friday!
There are special days we all should remember lest we get in trouble at home like anniversaries, birthdays and major holidays. The Jews were especially good about remembering "holy days" as they recall the goodness of God in watching over Israel for generations.
- unknown (probably a husband who won't admit he wrote it! )
Related Sermon Illustrations
-
There Are Three Kinds Of Givers -- The Flint, ...
Contributed by Charles R. Swindoll on Sep 28, 2004
There are three kinds of givers -- the flint, the sponge and the honeycomb. To get anything out of a flint you must hammer it. And then you get only chips and sparks. To get water out of a sponge you must squeeze it, and the more you use pressure, the more you will ...read more
-
It Was 1741, And An Old Man Was Wandering The ...
Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on Jan 6, 2007
It was 1741, and an old man was wandering the streets of London. His name was George Frederick Handel. At this point, he was angry at life. His mind kept going back to the time when he was famous and had the applause of royalty and the elite of London. But now his mind was full of despair and ...read more
-
In The Book The God Chasers, Tommy Tenney ...
Contributed by Chip Monck on Feb 15, 2005
In the book The God Chasers, Tommy Tenney writes, "I don’t know about you, but I am tired of just being ‘another somebody’ to the lost around me. I have made a decision. I made up my mind and set my heart to declare, ‘I am going to pursue the presence of God in my life. I am going to get so close ...read more
-
I'd Like To Relate To You A Story That A Son ... PRO
Contributed by Clyde Grimes on Dec 28, 2002
I’d like to relate to you a story that a son tells about his father that made an impact upon him for the rest of his life. He recounts: The cold Iowa dawn was still an hour off, but already Dad and I had finished a big job on our farm. We’d loaded 100 head of cattle for market into two waiting ...read more
-
One Course I Had In College Was In Adolescent ...
Contributed by David Henderson on Jan 3, 2007
One course I had in college was in adolescent psychology. Difficult class but the professor would let us bring a note card with as much information as we could get on it. That was a great help. Steve Winger writes about a final exam he took in a logic class at the university he attended. The ...read more
Related Sermons
-
The Death Of Fear Series
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Apr 5, 2015
When I was 5 my grandfather died. As I stood by the graveside at the cemetery, my mother said I looked down into the grave and then turned to her and asked "How's Grandpa ever going to get out of there?"
-
Run It Up The Flagpole Series
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Jan 3, 2016
Too many Christians are satisfied with doing their minimum requirement for God. They don't realize the blessings they miss out on because they've just done what they "had to do" as His child. What are they missing out on and how can they change?
-
Where Is The Lamb? Series
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Feb 5, 2017
When John the Baptist declared that Jesus was the Lamb of God, he was answering a question from Genesis: "Where is the Lamb?" Do you know the importance of that question, and of the idea that Jesus was the Lamb of God?
-
How Will You Finish?
Contributed by Barry O Johnson on Oct 13, 2018
When we accept Jesus as Lord there is an excitement. We want to save the world. But over time the world beats so many of us into silence. This message is about how the Apostle Paul refused to let circumstances keep him from finishing his race.
-
God Has Rolled Away (Cancelled) My Reproach (Shame)
Contributed by Jeremiah Menyongai on Mar 9, 2020
Whatever makes a person feel life is not worth living physically, socially, spiritually, financially, academically, professionally is a reproach. Reproach Degrades, Shames, Blames, Embarrasses, Disgraces. But God Says - No More Reproach.