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When I was in my early twenties, I served as Lead Pastor at a church in Kentucky.  I entered ministry only halfway broken free of the shell of my extreme introversion, and I often gave into the desire to hide from people – not because I didn’t love them, but because I was intimidated by nearly everyone I didn’t know well. That’s a problem in ministry.

Then came the occasion on which a member of our church shared with me one of the most hurtful and helpful things I’ve ever heard. She had brought a friend to church one Sunday but her friend wasn’t going to return. The reason? The Pastor (me) was quite unapproachable.

Ouch. I got defensive. I felt embarassed. I wanted to set the record straight. The only problem was, she was really right, and I wound up being so appreciative of the feedback.

I still struggle. It’s hard to totally rewire one’s personality and in some respects, it shouldn’t be tried. But the big principle I was up against was this: I LOVE people, but I need to let them know it. So it requires intentional effort to communicate that I’m touchable and approachable, that I care enough to listen and that I’m a safe place for people.

I love how Scott Cochrane put it in his blog post, The Vital Role of “Winsome Approachability” In Leadership…

If the primary role of a leader is to raise up other leaders, approachability is a must. You can’t identify potential leaders from afar… Only when you’re up close and personal with your team will you discover what is really going on in the ranks.

In his post, Scott shares three “wins” of being approachable, as well as three simple ways to get there. So…

Keep Reading Scott’s Blog »

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Ronald Johnson avatar

Ronald Johnson

commented on May 7, 2016

Hi Brandon, I am 81,been in the ministry now since 1965 and I was an introvert too. It took me time but I just figured out I had to walk up to people and put out my hand and say, "How ya doing"? And a smile goes a long way. I even do that at the PO once in a while when I get the mail and you can't imagine the people who smile back and say "Good morning too!" I am glad God you through and you are a good pastor. We are all projects God is working on. The extrovert has issues too. Sometimes they can listen to people but they are not listening to a thing. - Ron

Anonymous Contributor avatar

Anonymous Contributor

commented on May 7, 2016

Hi Brandon, Your article on "the power of choosing........" is really something that touched my heart as it's psychological domain of explanation on how to let others know that you really love them is self explanatory because the fruit of the Christian Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22). "Approachable" and "Touchable" are nothing but two connotations of what Galatians 5:22 says. "To-love and To-be-loved" are two essential ingredients in our Christian lifestyle, and each member in the church is hungry for this instinctual desire to feel the fragrance of love particularly from the church leader. But sometimes, in contemporary churches, we find a vacuum in our approach and relationship within the church environment. I am indeed glad to read your article and hope your intentional care can better communicate the fragrance Christian Spirit towards your church family. Amen!

Thomas Mathew avatar

Thomas Mathew

commented on May 8, 2016

Holy Spirit and God's Word is the best teacher for every leader. He balances out things beautifully. I had lot of attitude issues for years. I found that everyone was wrong and I was always right. When I grew up in the Lord, Holy Spirit brought clarity in my communication. The first thing Holy Spirit taught me was that I must encourage and give freedom for people to express what they feel. Eventually I found that I was much more received by them.

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