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Summary: They are a large part of how you serve.

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Let's start today by simply reading Ephesians 6:1:

Children, obey your parents [in the Lord].

For this is right.

Children, obey your parents. How should you obey them? Paul says, obey them "in the Lord." [I'LL PROBABLY TAKE THIS SECTION OUT WHEN ACTUALLY PREACHING. THIS SERMON IS WAY TOO LONG. BUT I'LL KEEP IT IN FOR READERS). Actually, Paul MAYBE says "in the Lord." If you're reading the NRSV, you'll see a footnote in your Bibles here, and that footnote tells you, " Other ancient authorities lack in the Lord." We have lots of early copies of Ephesians, and other NT books, and they sometimes disagree with each other.

This doesn't need to freak us out, but what happens sometimes is that we aren't quite sure what Paul wrote.

Either Paul wrote, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord," and 7 of our very early copies of Ephesians somehow didn't include that. They took it out for some reason. Or, Paul simply wrote, "Children, obey your parents," and some of the very early copyists read this and gave it a little more force-- "obey your parents in the Lord."

Most of the time, when we have issues like this with our NT, where we aren't quite sure what someone actually wrote, it looks a lot like this. It's not an issue that makes a huge difference in how we read a passage or understand it. I don't think it needs to make us less confident in the Bible.

Here, the most likely explanation is that Paul simply wrote, "Children, obey your parents, for this is right." And shortly after people began copying his letters, someone added "in the Lord."

So. Paul's opening command to children is very simple. "Children, obey your parents." Paul then strengthens this command with a "for" statement. The reason you need to obey your parents is because this is "right." This word "right" could just as easily be translated "righteous." Actually, it's usually translated as "righteous" elsewhere (Romans 3:10; Romans 5:7; 1 Timothy 1:9).

This word, "righteous," is basically a relational word. When you act rightly toward someone within the context of your relationship, you are righteous. We are in a relationship with God, right? When we give God what we owe him, given our relationship to him, we are acting righteously toward him. We are acting rightly (Romans 2:13). God is also righteous. When God gives us what he owes us, because he has made a commitment to us, God acts rightly-- righteously (Romans 3:26).

Children have an obligation to live rightly in relationship to their parents, and give them what they are owed. And this obligation, is first of all, to obey. So when children obey their parents, they are living righteously. They are living rightly.

Paul then continues, in verse 2, with a second command.

Honor your father and mother,

which is the first commandment with a promise,

in order that well with you it may be,

and you may be long-lived on the earth.

What does it mean to honor your parents? It means to live in a way that brings honor to them. When we put it this way, this is complicated. My wife, Heidi, is from Jamestown. And half of Jamestown knows that Heidi is the daughter of [name]. Whenever she does or says anything in Jamestown, people see her as [name's] daughter. And she either brings honor to them, or she brings shame to them. Heidi is supposed to live in a way that brings honor to them.

If you find yourself bad-mouthing your parents, you are dishonoring them. You won't always agree with your parents. There are things about the way your parents do things that bother you. And this is especially true if you have a job, like farming, where you work with them. When you disagree with them, if you think you have to disagree with them, do so in a way that still respects and honors them. Honor your parents.

Paul doesn't talk here about in-laws, but I see no reason why this wouldn't apply to them as well. When you married your spouse, you took on another set of parents. You need to live in a way that honors them as well. It's possible that you struggle with your in-laws. Lots of people do. Your in-laws maybe do lots of things very differently, and have very different perspectives on things. But you need to live, and talk, in a way that honors them. If you are bad-mouthing them to other people, you are dishonoring them. And if you are bad-mouthing them to your spouse, you are putting your spouse in a terrible spot. Your spouse has to honor his/her parents. So they are going to get defensive. Their parents' honor is at stake. Honor your in-laws.

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