"Wisdom Regarding Parenting" Series

During a visit to the mental institution, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.” “Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.” “No.” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

Well, when it comes to the state of the family today, many would say we’ve gone crazy. The look of the family is changing.

I recently looked over data from PEW research on the family. The share of U.S. children living with an unmarried parent has more than doubled since 1968, jumping from 13% to 32% in 2017. That trend has been accompanied by a drop in the share of children living with two married parents, down from 85% in 1968 to 65%. Research shows that within a 10 mile radius of our church address, 34% of households are single parent households.

Whether you’re single, in your first marriage, your second, or more, the advice for families found in Proverbs can make a difference in your life, and your children’s lives. No matter how the look of the family might change, the reliable truth of God’s Word for the family does not change; and it can provide the stability families need in an

ever-changing world and help you fulfill the primary purpose of a family - raising your children well. Let’s see what we can learn.

Many parents are concerned with providing the basic “necessities” of life. Indeed, Paul emphasized the importance of such provision.

“But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” - 1 Timothy 5:8 (CSB)

Dave Ramsey calls these “The Four Walls”: the basic necessities of food, shelter (including utilities), basic clothing and transportation.

Beyond these four items, anything else in terms of physical provision, is “extra.” While we might want to provide nice “extras” for our kids or grandkids, our next priority in terms of provision should move from the physical to the emotional and spiritual, according to Proverbs.

A. Parents need to provide their kids with faith.

“Better is a little with the [reverent, worshipful] fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble with it.”

- Proverbs 15:16 (Amplified)

“The [reverent] fear of the Lord [that is, worshiping Him and regarding Him as truly awesome] is the beginning and the preeminent part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence].” - Proverbs 1:7a (Amplified)

“The [reverent] fear of the Lord [worshiping, obeying, serving, and trusting Him with awe-filled respect] prolongs one’s life.” - Proverbs 10:27a (Amplified)

“By fearing the Lord, people avoid evil.” - Proverbs 16:6b (NLT)

“The reward of humility [that is, having a realistic view of one’s importance] and the [reverent, worshipful] fear of the LORD is riches, honor, and life.” - Proverbs 22:4 (Amplified)

Teaching your kids how to have a personal, meaningful, intimate love relationship with God that results in proper perspective on oneself and one’s God is the most important “provision” a parent can give.

How might one do this? Four thoughts.

1) Pray together as a family.

2) Read the Bible together as a family.

3) Worship together as a family.

4) Serve together as a family.

B. Parents need to provide their kids with hope.

Several Proverbs mention the “rod” when speaking of disciplining a child (13:24; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15). At first reading, it seems the Bible recommends spanking as an important means of correction. But this is not the only way to interpret these passages.

While the rod seems to be an object to strike with, the term rod is also used in the Bible in connection with the shepherd’s staff: “Your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4). The shepherd’s staff was used to guide wandering sheep along the right path. The rod was used to beat off predators, not hit sheep who stray. The idea behind the rod is that of discipline and guidance in the effort to protect and child so they might prosper and flourish.

“Discipline and teach your son while there is hope, and do not [indulge your anger or resentment by imposing

inappropriate punishment nor] desire his destruction.” - Proverbs 19:18 (Amplified)

Every child is born with certain abilities, capacities, and possibilities. The job of a parent is to help them discover and develop them.

Discipline is all about a parent providing guidance that helps a child minimize the chance they waste their life and maximize the chance to make the most of their life. One familiar proverb on child raising is: