When The Holidays Are Hard: Finding Peace When You Can't.

When The Holidays Are Hard:

Finding Peace When You Can't

Introduction

The holidays are often the happiest time of the year for many people.  It’s easy to forget that for many, the family gatherings, songs, and celebrations overlook the losses they have endured - and instead of being the ‘happiest season of all, it becomes a hard time of year. Sometimes the Holidays are hard.

-Grief over the loss of a loved one.

-Illness - surgeries, cancer, failing health of loved ones, medical

-Family struggles or the heartache of divorce or estrangement.

-Financial struggles are acute this time of year.

-Loneliness, tears, and uncertainty about how to proceed are all a part of the holidays for some.

Psalm 6:6 I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.

Where can we find joy when we can’t? Today we spend some time bearing the burdens, weeping with those who weep, and reflecting on some strategies for confronting the hardships that often steal our joy. Joy is available, and we can experience the benefits of joy down deep in spite of circumstances that cause us to struggle. But it does seem elusive. What can we do to find joy when we can’t? Today we listen to Paul writing from prison to Philippian friends. 

1. Find Joy in the Good Memories 

Phil 1:3 NLT Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.

We naturally focus on the things that are weighing on us now. Take some time to remember the good times and good things intentionally. Write them down in a journal? Share with a friend.

2. Find Joy in the Love and Support of Others

Phil 1:19 NLT For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance.

Sometimes the support of others is not supportive. They say things that hurt, they don’t know what to say. Be gentle with your consolers. Just forgive them. You may have to set boundaries - explain to them what you

are willing and not willing to do this year.

Allow others to express their love and care and understand that they are there for you. God is working through their prayers.

3. Find Joy in Moving Ahead Imperfectly

Phil 3:12-14 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

There’s nothing wrong with you if you continue to struggle. Our lives are not Hallmark movies, with perfectly timed snowfall or unexpected romance. 

Becton: We expect a superhuman strength that, when the chips are down, we likely won't have. We become very critical and sometimes even destructive toward ourselves. Avoid:

-Being ‘strong’ for others. This is not the time to be strong, it’s the time to be human. (Zig Ziglar)

-Pretending not to hurt. Feel free to admit, “this hurts.” Give other people the chance to gently offer support. 

-Avoid the fear of asking for help -professional -mental -medical

-Avoid isolation

-Avoid numbing the pain with substance abuse - this will only create more depression.

It takes a lot of courage to honestly face all the pain of the season, but go easy on yourself - no one does this perfectly. 

4. Find Joy in Turning From Anxiety to Prayer to Peace

Phil 4:6-7 NLT Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 

Prayer is talking to God - so Tell God Exactly How You Feel. Becton:  One widow told me, "I told God I was so mad at him for letting my husband pass away on Christmas day'. We can be angry at God and we can tell Him all about it. It’s okay. He understands. He wants us to bring Him our grief. This is a way we lean on Him in our hurts, and a way He gives us peace.

Peace Three times in Philippians:

-Comes from God (Philippians 1:2 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.)

-Guards your heart (Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.)

-Remains with you (Philippians 4:9 And the God of peace will be with you.