What Is Biblical Love? How To Walk In The Way Of Love Series

Dave Simmons shared in his book about being a dad a time when he and his two kids went to a mall, and the mall had a petting zoo there. He had given each of his children, Brandon and Helen a quarter to enter, and then went to continue shopping. Soon he saw his daughter hadn’t gone in. He went to ask her why.

She said sadly, "Well, Daddy, it cost fifty cents. So, I gave Brandon my quarter." Then she said the most beautiful thing I ever heard. She repeated the family motto. The family motto is in "Love is Action!"

She had given Brandon her quarter, and no one loves cuddly furry creatures more than Helen.

What do you think I did? Well, not what you might think. As soon as I finished my errands, I took Helen to the petting zoo. We stood by the fence and watched Brandon go crazy petting and feeding the animals. Helen stood with her hands and chin resting on the fence and just watched Brandon. I had fifty cents burning a hole in my pocket; I never offered it to Helen, and she never asked for it.

Because she knew the whole family motto. It's not "Love is Action." It's "Love is SACRIFICIAL Action!" Love always pays a price. Love always costs something. Love is expensive. When you love, benefits accrue to another's account. Love is for you, not for me. Love gives; it doesn't grab. Helen gave her quarter to Brandon and wanted to follow through with her lesson. She knew she had to taste the sacrifice. She wanted to experience that total family motto. Love is sacrificial action.”

-Dave Simmons, Dad, The Family Coach, Victor Books, 1991, pp. 123-124.

Today we’re talking love in the context of the Bible, referred to in the classic chapter from 1st Corinthians 13. But it’s super important that we understand that love is like Dave Simmons indicates, a sacrificial action.

It’s not a feeling. It’s not something we do when we feel like it. It’s a mindset of service to others. And let’s be very clear, we pay a price when we love. We give something. It’s not about receiving. It’s about giving.

The Apostle Paul is writing to a community that has a lot of knowledge. And he is reminding them that love has to be first as a Christian.

But what is love exactly? That’s what we’re going to be examining today.

But I think as Americans we assume love is “niceness.” The American 1st Corinthians 13 is: "Love is niceness. Love does not make waves. Love does not disagree. Love always affirms. Love goes along to get along. Love accepts everything. Love never judges. Love says anything to make someone feel good. Love never points out a wrong. Love seeks the security of self, rather than the benefit of the other. Niceness never confronts, never disturbs, never speaks a hard truth. Niceness says, "you do you."

But that is not biblical love. That kind of love is not love at all, but niceness. And niceness isn’t actually really loving. Niceness wants to be liked. Niceness doesn’t want to have to call someone out on something bad they’re doing. Niceness is just letting someone float on down the river toward hell without saying a word. Niceness is more about wanting to be liked. It’s selfish. And niceness isn’t what we go for as Christians. We go for sacrificial agape love.

Jesus modeled perfect love for us, by dying for his enemies, dying for people who rejected him, in the hope they would one day receive the forgiveness he offered.

Love says, “Father forgive them they don’t know what they’re doing.”

Love says, “I do not condemn you.”

Yet Love also says, “Go and sin no more.”

And Love also says, “Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand.”

Love also says, “If your hand causes you to sin cut it off, because it’s better for you to lose your hand than to go with both hands into the everlasting fire.”

Biblical love is willing to say a hard truth to someone in love, knowing that we may lose the friendship, but loving their soul more than their companionship. That’s real love. Niceness is a joke and a sham, compared to the glory of agape love.

It says in 1st Cor 13:1-3, “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”