What Do You Preach?

Illus: The phrase, “People of the Cloth”, reminds me of the pastor of a conservative small-town congregation. He received the gift of a white suit from a friend, but he was a bit reluctant to wear it. Since it was so attractive and a perfect fit, he decided to put it on one warm Sunday. As he was leaving for church, he asked his wife what she thought of his attire. After giving him the once-over, she replied, "It depends. Are you going to preach or sell chicken?" ("The Lighter Side," Partnership, Jul-Aug, 1986, p. 8.)

But ministers of the gospel are just like everyone else, they make their share of mistakes.

Illus: As a preacher, you know you're in trouble when ...

• You call the groom by the bride's former boyfriend's name

• You forget to turn off the cordless microphone while using the rest room

• You finally remember the name of that person you promised to visit in the hospital--while reading the obituaries

• The organist is asked to play while you preach

• The church votes to change your day off to Sunday

• You get assigned to nursery duty--during the morning service

• You preach the same sermon for the second week--and nobody notices

(Bruce Hoppe, Dwight Dally, Dave Maurer, Ron Saari in Leadership, Vol. 9, no. 2. )

But one of the hardest parts of the ministry is the preacher’s wife’s job. Her’s is the most unappreciated job in the church. It takes a special woman to be a preacher’s wife. Sometimes it seems as if her husband does not seem to fully appreciate her efforts to help him.

Illus: A newly ordained preacher and his young wife were going through some hard times in their marriage. They talked about how they could be more considerate of each other.

• The good wife promised that she would stop being so critical of his sleep-inducing sermons.

• He, in return, promised to honor her privacy and stop looking through her dresser drawers.

The preacher was true to his word, and never looked through his wife's dresser drawers; the good wife was never openly critical of her husband's sermons; and their marriage progressed smoothly.

After 50 years, their children gave a great party to celebrate the golden anniversary of the preacher and his wife. Many people came to congratulate the happy couple, and brought lovely gifts.

That evening, as they were putting the gifts away, the preacher saw that his wife left one the dresser drawer slightly open. He tried as hard as he could to withstand the temptation, but he finally opened the drawer and looked inside. There he found 3 eggs, and $10,000.00, in bills of varied denominations.

He was greatly puzzled by this, and went to question his wife. "Oh," she said. "Well, you remember when we spoke of being more considerate with each other all those years ago?" The preacher, feeling profoundly guilty, answered "Yes." She said, "Well, I promised to stop criticizing your boring sermons, but every time you gave a sermon that was a real snoozer, I put an egg in that drawer."

The preacher smiled. "Well, that's not so bad. 50 years of sermons and only 3 eggs! But what about all that money?"

His wife quietly responded, "Every time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them."

People have some strange ideas about people who are in the ministry.

Illus: A business man said, “Preacher, you could not pay me enough to be a pastor. When I have people in my company that do not produce, I have the pleasure of walking up to them and saying, ‘You are fired!’ You have to smile and tell them God loves you and so do you!”

Illus: When it comes to the ministry, I like what Howard Hendricks says about ministers. He said, “If you can't stand the smell of sheep, you shouldn't be a shepherd.”

ACTUALLY EVERY CHRISTIAN IS A PREACHER OF SORTS. You may not stand in a pulpit in the church and preach a message, but I want to tell you that every day, you send a message to people around you.

Illus: One day as the bus pulled up to a stop, the driver noticed that the man standing there was the town’s new preacher. He quickly made up his mind to test him. As the preacher paid his fare and got on the bus, the driver gave him too much change back.

As the preacher started toward his seat, he discovered the mistake. He went up to the driver and said, “Excuse me sir but you gave me too much change back”. The driver responded by saying “Yes I know, but I wanted to see if you are a honest man before I paid a visit to your church.”