Victorious Life

VICTORIOUS LIFE

Psalm 13:1-6

We are often too reluctant to tell others that we actually doubt God?s

existence. Why are we in doubt? We might feel that we have done a lot for the Lord. We

have sacrificed everything for Him. We have put in a lot of work, time, mind, feelings

and even money. It?s not rare to find work and family neglected for the sake of church

ministry. What do we get out of it? We get more problems, difficulties and drama in our

lives. Our efforts are fruitless. We get sick and even get fired. What did we do wrong?

What more do we need to do?

We keep these questions in our heart, without anybody knowing them. We shut

our mouth. We dare not tell this to anybody. The risk is too big. People will say that we

have no faith. This is even worse for a priest or a deacon. People will mock us. “What?s

all this about? Church activists are still doubting God?” If a priest happened to hear this,

then we?ll probably be called; he will probably think that you haven?t been saved. Even

worse, we could be asked to retake the catechism class. In this situation, do we ever

doubt our doubt?

Let?s look at the background of the psalmist. After Saul heard the voice of women

in Jerusalem praising David?s victory in defeating the giant Goliath, David?s life was

more threatened and dangerous. Imagine, when he was calmly playing the harp for Saul,

suddenly a spear was thrown at him. But the LORD protected him, and David was

unharmed. It didn?t stop there, Saul tried several ways to finish David. Therefore David

had to flee, and hide in caves. Meanwhile, Saul?s people were consistently searching for

him. David was very pressed and stuck. This was David?s bitter experience that he had

undergone.

Psalm 13 which was written by David talks about the same thing. It begins with 4

questions. :”How long O Lord, will You forget me forever?”, “How long will You hide

Your face from me?”, “How long must I bear pain in my Soul and have sorrow in my

heart all day long?”, and “How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?”

This series of questions were asked by the psalmist, proving that he was in a very

depressing situation. We don?t know how he was when he wrote this particular chapter.

But some guess that the psalmist was afraid of dying. Maybe he was ill; compare this to

Psalm 6. We don?t know why he was ill. Neither do we know what illness he had. It?s

possible that he was being attacked, so he was well physically, but he was not fine,

psychologically.

Apparently, the psalmist was anxious that his hopes in the LORD were in vain.

His younger brother was getting married in a week. But he was murdered by someone

unknown. Invitations had been passed out; everything had been prepared, then this

horrible incident happened. I can imagine that the bride must have tried on the wedding

gown. Maybe their honeymoon to travel abroad had been prepared. But everything was

gone just like that. In such circumstances, man cries to the Lord: “How much longer?”

I can also relate to those whose families are victims of the earthquake in

Jogjakarta. Maybe they just woke up in the morning. Probably they had planned several

things for the future. But accident suddenly happened, as if mercilessly it destroyed all

their dreams.

I don?t quite know whether you have asked the Lord “How long?” Sometimes in

our ministry serving the Lord, I ask that whenever I face certain challenges. How much

longer, LORD? How much longer? We have kneeled, praying and fasting, but our dream

as a congregation to have our own church building has not been fulfilled. How much

longer will You, o Lord, lets a family in our congregation wait for a child? How much

longer? O Lord, you seem so far away and distant from the family of our best friend.

These questions are often asked during our ministry.

Let?s go back to verse 4.

In a state of anxiety, the psalmist was about even with his enemy. They were even

at first, but then his enemies grew stronger than him. Most likely, they rejoiced, but also

mocked and ridiculed him. Thus the psalmist said: “Give light to my eyes or I will sleep

in death” as translated in NIV. In NRSV, it says: “Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep

the sleep of death” Both translations use the word or to show and emphasize a request of

choice. In other words he was saying: “Give me light, or death.” This verse also implies

restoration and healing.

When we experience difficulties in a vulnerable position, sometimes people