Using Communication Concepts

Using Communication Concepts

in Growing & Planting Churches

Communication Guidelines For Evangelism

Learning Objectives

1. The students will list five principles of communication for evangelism and church planting purposes.

2. The students will explain what types of questions are useful in evangelism and church planting.

Introduction - Many people have problems between their families, friends, and neighbors because they fail to learn, believe in, and practice the principles of good communications. The following is a compilation of some of the most important communication principles. These ideas can be used to alleviate some of the problems of relating to the people in your life. They are only useful if you will prayerfully ask the Lord for help in using them. Practice them consistently. Also share them with other people in a non-critical manner. Rom. 12:9-21 says,

``Let love be without hypocrisy, abhor that which is evil cling to that which is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourself.’’

I. Principles For Effective Communication

1. Actions speak louder than anything we may say. Non-verbal communication like our gestures, our facial expressions, or our absence from another’s company, are more powerful than verbal communication.

Example - 58% of what we communicate to others comes through non-verbal communications. 35% comes from our tone of voice in which we express our feelings, attitudes, and beliefs. Only 7% of what we actually communicate comes from the actual words spoken.

``It is not always what you say that matters, but how you say it.’’

2. When you have a problem with another person, define what is important and stress it. Also, define what is unimportant and deemphasize or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding.

Matt 7:l,2 ``Do not look at the speck in your brother’s eye until you have removed the log from your own eye.’’

3. Communicate to others in ways that show respect for the other person’s God given feelings. Do not say things like . . . ``You never do anything right.’’

4. Try to be specific in communication and avoid vagueness. Try to give people concrete examples of what you mean so that they are not confused by theoretical approaches to a problem.

5. Do not exaggerate unnecessarily. Reasonableness and realism are the guidelines to good honest communications

6. Try asking other people’s opinions, assumptions, and perceptions before you share your own. Test your preconceived notions out to see if they are accurate.

7. Avoid being overly dogmatic by realizing that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. Allow for individual differences so you do not get angry and destroy a relationship.

``Blessed is the man who can overlook faults in others.’’

8. When your family or friends make any observations about you, listen to them. Remember that it is very difficult to masquerade (hide or cover-up) how you really are to those who are closest to you.

``A wise man listens to rebuke, but a fool despises it.’’

9. Try not to get into destructive arguments, but recognize that certain kinds of disagreements can be a synergistic (Mutually helpful) factor for growth in you and others.

Example - A Hausa proverb says that words are like long blades of grass on a grassed roofed hut. Once you pull it out of your mouth it is almost impossible to take it back, people do not forget poorly chosen words!!

10. Learn to speak the truth in love so that you are able to share your ideas tactfully, discretely, and lovingly at the most opportune time, place, and situation.

Example - A Hausa proverb says, ``How can a bald man advise others about hairstyles.’’ In other words, a man who has not experienced something is not as credible a teacher as someone who is presently going through the experience.

11. Try not to manipulate others by saying things like . . . ``Look at you. You are a fruitless woman. Or you stupid man you do not know anything.’’ Give the other person enough courtesy to express his views on one subject at a time. Be willing to learn from anyone at anytime in any circumstance. Notice patience heads the list of characteristics of love in I Cor. 13.

12. Do not play the game of one-up manship where you have to feel that if someone else dealt you a low blow you must pay them back to get even with them.

Example - Some people live by the motto, ``You do me, I do you.’’ This is wrong for a Christian since Jesus said, ``Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.’’ (The Golden Rule)

13. Remember that you are responsible for not only what you intend to communicate, but also what effect you will have on others with your communication.