Upgrade Series

2/9 Upgrade 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

A robust and healthy sex life is one of the best indicators of a healthy marriage

A growing infrequency in love-making adversely affects intimacy at every level.

There is no safe sex outside of marriage.

God gives us 3 guidelines for married couples to maximize our sex life:

1. Accept a mutual responsibility v.3

2. Make a mutual sacrifice v.4

3. Enjoy a mutual ecstasy. v.5

Reboot suggestions:

Singles: Accept the truth that sex outside of marriage is dangerous and damaging, and but in marriage it is God’s beautiful gift and worth waiting for.

Marrieds: Set up a time this week to discuss the following question: On a scale of 1-10, how satisfying is your sex life and what can each of you do to upgrade?

Opening illustration

I week one of this series, we identified a universal need inside every human being. Whether you’re young or old, male or female, single or married, gay or straight: you want to love someone special and you want to be loved by someone special. That’s the way God made us. Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”

The human heart is looking for love. Right after God says this about aloneness not being good for Adam , God says, Genesis 2:24 “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.” So God made men and women and God designed how we are relate to each other in a healthy, wholesome, fulfilling way. The problem is that most singles don’t know what that design is and so they don’t date in healthy way, mot engaged couples don’t know about the design and so they’re not ready for marriage, and most married folks don’t know the design and they are limping through life missing out on so much blessing God has for them.

Last week we talked about ways that men and women relate to each other in unhealthy, unwholesome ways….Malwares that damage or destroy peace and joy and fulfillment: cohabitation, homosexuality, fornication, pornography, & adultery.

As we said last week: next to the gift of salvation by grace through faith, sex is God’s greatest gift to the human race. But it is only a blessed gift if it is enjoyed inside a covenant relationship between a man and a woman called marriage. Outside of that covenant relationship, sex is damaging and destructive. But inside that covenant relationship—ooo la la! So this morning is about getting an upgrade in your marriage.

Now I must warn you that this morning is going to be a bit awkward for many of you. Because we’re going to have an open and honest discussion about sex. I find that many folks will listen to talk about sex for hours on end watching TV, but get all uptight talking about it at church! Oughta be just the opposite! The sex talk you get from Ricki Lake or How I Met Your Mother or Big Bang Theory or The Wolf of Wallstreet or whatever else you watch or read, is a distortion, a mutilation, a perversion of the real thing. And that ought to make you uptight. The real thing, the real deal is to be experienced and enjoyed inside this covenant relationship between a man and a woman called marriage. Everything else is a distortion, a mutilation, a perversion of the real thing.

So if the real thing is a gift by God, if it is high and holy, then we oughta be able to talk about it without getting all flushed and awkward. Oh no—he’s gonna talk about sex! If you have children in here, I’m glad they’re here. They may not understand everything we say, but they’ll get the idea that sex is not dirty and forbidden, and it’ll sure generate some topics for discussion at the dinner table this afternoon and give you the opportunity as a parent to countermand what they are learning in the locker room or on social media. But if you’ve gotta get em out, nows the time…you do so with my blessing.

If you’re a student, pay close attention to what we say today. This will be way better than those stupid sex ed classes you have to sit through in school. If you’re a single adult, listen with one ear so that you can anticipate the day you get to share this wonderful gift with someone--and listen with the other ear to the warnings that it is to be shared in marriage only. And finally, if you’re married, evaluate your sex life honestly. Does your sex life reflect the biblical principles God gave us to maximize this gift?

I want to work off this one premise this morning: A robust and healthy sex life is one of the best indicators of a healthy marriage