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Summary: The task of parenting is to train young disciples.

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Training Young Disciples

Ephesians 6:1-4

Rev. Brian Bill

April 20-21, 2024

I came across some letters children wrote to their pastor.

• I know God loves everybody, but He never met my sister. Yours Sincerely, Arnold.”

• “Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Thanks, Carla.”

• “I’m sorry I can’t leave more money in the plate, but my father didn’t give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty.”

• “Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God’s help, or a new pitcher. Thank you, Alexander.”

• “Please say in your sermon Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete.”

Last weekend our topic was “Marriage Matters.” If you want your marriage to matter, live out your role and responsibilities. We concluded with this concise summary from Ephesians 5:33: If you’re a husband, you must love your wife. If you’re a wife, you must respect your husband.

Today, we move from a manual on marriage to a parenting primer in Ephesians 6:1-4: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

If you have children, or grandchildren, what is that you want for them? How you answer that question will influence how you parent them. Here are some common responses.

• I want my kids to be good.

• I want my children to be happy and healthy.

• I want my children to have the stuff I didn’t have.

• I want my children to be good athletes.

• I want my children to have the opportunities I didn’t have.

• I want my children to get good grades, be financially stable, and successful.

What if asking the question, “What do I want for my children?” is the wrong question to ask? The better question is this, “How does God want to use me as a parent or grandparent in the life of my child or grandchild?”

Here’s our main idea: The task of parenting is to train young disciples.

This passage is made up of two parts – a child’s responsibility and a parent’s responsibility. First, let’s look at what a child is called to do.

A Child’s Responsibility

1. Heed with their actions. We see this in verse 1: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Parents, simply put, our job is to teach our children how to obey. This is not always easy, is it? It’s like the little boy who was overheard praying, “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.” While our children may think they’re having a good time disobeying, the fact of the matter is that they will be much happier and more joyful if they can learn the biblical discipline of obedience.

The term “obey” comes from two words, “under” and “listen,” which carries the idea of “listening under by submitting.” We’re to hear and heed. To obey means to line up under your parent’s authority by keeping their rules, by listening carefully to what they have to say, and then doing what they tell you to do.

It’s important to point out that according to Romans 1:29-31, disobedience to parents is a sign of depravity: “They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.” 2 Timothy 3:2 says not obeying parents is a mark of evil in the last days: “For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy.”

Children are to obey their parents “in the Lord.” They are to obey for the Lord’s sake. This doesn’t mean they only have to obey Christian parents. Rather, it means children are to obey their parents “because of the Lord,” as if they were obeying the Lord directly.

In a parallel passage, Colossians 3:20 says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Kids are to obey, not because they like to, or because it’s what their parents want, but because it’s what the Lord wants. It’s part of their responsibility to Christ.

The last phrase in verse 1 answers the question, “Why?” Why must I obey my parents? “For this is right.” This means it’s “the correct and proper course.” It’s a self-evident truth. Since the parents brought the child into the world, and since they have more knowledge and wisdom than the child, it is right that the child should obey his parents.

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