Third Down: Honor Series

4 Play: Four Keys to a Winning Marriage Series

Third Down: Honor

Feb. 17, 2008 FBC, Chester Mike Fogerson, Pastor

Introduction:

A Valentine, the priest who Valentine’s Day is named for, was martyred for the great and godly institution of marriage.

1 The emperor of Rome at the time, Claudius, passed a law banning marriages. His reason was simple. Men would not volunteer to join his Roman army with wives and girlfriends to leave behind.

a Valentine knew that God instituted the family and His will included great marriages. So, he kept on performing marriage ceremonies – but secretly.

b He would whisper the words of the ceremony, while listening for soldiers on the steps outside.

2 One night, he did hear footsteps. The couple he was marrying escaped, but he was caught. He was thrown in jail and sentenced to death.

a Valentine tried to stay cheerful while imprisoned, and many young

people came to the jail to visit him—actually performing ceremonies while imprisoned. The jailer’s daughter would often visit Valentine in his cell, and they sat and talked for hours.

b She believed he did the right thing by ignoring the Emperor and performing marriage ceremonies.

3 On the day, Valentine was to die, he left her a note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. He signed it, "Love from your Valentine."

a That note started the custom of exchanging love notes on Valentine’s Day. It was written on the day he died, February 14, 269 A.D.

b There was a guy who honored the institution of Marriage!

B Even if your marriage was made in heaven, it must be maintained here on earth.

C We’ve looked so far this month on 4-Play: Running 4 key plays to having winning marriage.

1 First Down: Focus

a Second Down: Commitment

b Third Down: Honor

2 Honor can be given in four areas/dominions in married life.

a Let’s look at how it happens as we approach 3rd down.

b Let’s Pray.

I Love that keeps marriages together gives honor in all four dominions of life: emotional, intellectual, physical, & spiritual.

A Love her, respect him: emotional & intellectual honor

1 ...and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Eph 5:21 (NASB) Successful marriages are successful because...both parties met the needs of their spouse.

2 What each party needs: wives need their guy to...

a Care for her emotional honor (she needs to know she’s loved).

b Tell her everyday, take her to dinner, buy her a flower, turn off the game on the radio on the way to grandma’s & just talk to her.

3 Husbands need their gal to...

a Show him respect-care for his intellectual honor.

b It sounds like ego-stroking (not a bad idea), but honoring intellectually is different.

c Honoring intellectually means you respect his intentions, ideas, decisions as they work to provide for the family.

B Adam & Eve are a great case study in honor. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman , because she was taken out of Man ." 24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Gen 2:23-25 (NASB)

1 Adam & Eve’s marriage started just like yours...in love.

a In chapter 3, Eve falls prey to the serpent-breaks Dad’s only rule!

b When God saw what happened, He went looking for the responsible party.

2 They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" Gen 3:8-9 (NASB)

a The MAN was responsible in God’s eyes (Big)

b The man said, "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate." Gen 3:12 (NASB)

c Adam blamed his wife-ouch! TWO BIG MISTAKES!!

aa He blamed God for giving him a crummy wife

bb Adam gave Eve a reason to doubt his love for her-we’ve been hurting ever since!

C Sexuality-physical honor

1 When you start honoring your spouse emotionally/intellectually, you’ll start & end more days with a smile.

a And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Gen 2:25 (NASB)

b If you’re looking at anyone else & thinking about being naked with that person you’re not married to...stop it (shameful to your marriage).

c Guys/gals: We don’t ever need to discuss our sexual life with anyone other than our spouse & God (on rare occasions, a clinically trained therapist who believes God brings healing).