Think Before You Speak Series

Speaking holy words also means not cursing in any way. Vulgar talking is one thing, and honestly it does seem as though there are times when the only word that fits some situations is crude! But cursing is a whole other matter. We should never take the name of the Lord in vain. I don’t think we should angrily exclaim, “Jesus!” or even “Jeez.” God says in the Ten Commandments that He will not hold people guiltless that curse...wow, that is scary. I think God adds that little phrase because we excuse ourselves of unholy speaking when we are mad. God says whatever else you do – DO NOT take my name in vain. On that note, isn’t it strange how you can curse God regularly in public today via internet or airwaves but you certainly can’t curse Allah, the god of Islam, or you will be dead!

I – Is it Inspiring?

Will what I am about to say inspire others or depress them?

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4).

Notice that last phrase, “a breech in the spirit.” Breaking the spirit of our mate or children by calling them stupid, klutz or another belittling name; is not inspiring. What I have noticed about what breaks the spirit is that it is not the truth that bothers people as much as the tone. Our tone, when it comes to truth telling, either builds a wall or a bridge. There is speaking the truth that makes defenses go up and then there is speaking that brings peace and healing. I am sure that a lot of it has to do with the manner in which we communicate.

What is the mood and feel of our words? How are we coming across? A good example might be going to the doctor. When my wife, Lynette, was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer we went through a plethora of physicians. Most of them were thoughtful and several were almost miracle workers, as they were extra kind and helpful. Others…well lets just say they needed to go back to medical school for a refresher course on bedside manners! The truth is not always the issue as much as it is how we speak the truth. I am convinced that we can talk to each other truthfully and still have love if we do so gently.

One day I got tired of constantly pulling weeds in my flowerbeds, as they just kept coming back. So I said, “I am just going to spray them with weed killer!” It worked great…on the weeds, AND on the flowers next to the weeds. In the same way, our spouse and beautiful little children are like the flowers that are vulnerable as we blow our way through life trying to fix things with toxic “truth”!

N – Is it Necessary?

Do I really need to say this?

“The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness” (Proverbs 10:32).

A wise person knows what is appropriate, but the mouth of the foolish just speaks out dishonesty. Is it really necessary to talk about certain people? Or situations? Or observations? One little gauge I personally use in discerning if I should talk about matters is this – is it necessary for the health, safety or welfare of my family or others? Even if talking about things is unpleasant, there might be a time when it IS necessary. So much of our speech however is simply not necessary. So much of our talk is unpleasant. Why do we need to talk about unpleasant things? I really marvel at the verbal skills of my precious wife, Pauline. We will go on a little trip somewhere and she is such a delightful companion. She will just talk about the trees and then the flowers and how she used to grow certain flowers, which helps me see and enjoy the beauty around me. I marvel at this ability to make wonderful conversation. It is very pleasant and warm. How wonderful to have an acceptable way of speaking.