They Call Me Dad Series

¡§T H E Y C A L L M E ¡K D A D!¡¨

EPHESIANS 6:4

If you were to choose one word to describe the most powerful influence in a child¡¦s life, what word would you choose? When it comes to the power of influence in a child¡¦s life or world, I would choose the word ¡§Dad.¡¨ (A father¡¦s influence ¡K positive or negative on a child¡¦s life)

In Ramsey County, Minnesota, 9th and 10th graders were interviewed about their dads. The students were all asked this question, ¡§What comes to mind when you think of the word ¡¥dad?¡¨ Their answers could be separated into two distinct categories: At one end of the spectrum were answers like: ¡§I think of wholeness, kindness, security, safety, love and integrity.¡¨ But there was a second category: These students said, ¡§I think of the word jerk¡Kangry, mad, hurtful and absent.¡¨

Dad is an immensely powerful word because the influence of a father is an immensely powerful influence.

The influence of a father, every father, reaches far beyond one¡¦s childhood. ¡§What comes to mind when you think of the word ¡¥dad?¡¨ Each of us answered that question. Each of us remembers. Each of our answers fell into one of the two piles. Someone correctly observed that there are two ways to recognize the power of a father¡¦s influence. One is to see it at work. The other is to see what happens when it is absent or gone. Present or absent, positive or negative, the power of influence of the father is staggering. If you are a father, your influence (positive or negative, present or absent) will span generations.

Our Series: The Word On Parenting (Looking at the parent¡¦s relationship to God) Today: What is the role of the father in the home? (essentials)

Big Idea: Every Father Has A God-given Role To Fulfill

Primary Text: Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,

but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Trans: Three Essentials of Every Father¡¦s Role

ć His Role as a Leader

ć His Role as a Teacher (Mentor)

ć His Role as an Example (Model)

1. HIS ROLE AS A LEADER

Every Father is responsible to be a, Spirit controlled, loving, Christ-like leader in the home.

¡§Fathers¡¨ (not parents, not mothers, not guardians, not grandparents --- but fathers)

ƒá Pat`er (pateres - pl)--- from a root word signifying a nourisher, protector, upholder¡K

Can the Greek word refer to both parents? Yes.

Does it here? No! (Other words he could have used to signify parents. It does not fit the context. Why not?

Stress in Ephesians 5&6 is walking with God and individual responsibilities and relationships in the home¡K

Not all inclusive (telling everything we are to do), but what is at the core of each ones roles¡K

¡§Fathers¡¨ (pateres) is a statement of position and responsibility: He is responsible to see that what God commands are done and in a certain manner. He is responsible to set the spiritual climate of the the home.

Context: Chapters 1 ¡V 3 „³ What God has done for us¡K. Doctrine, who we are in Christ, our purpose.

Chapters 4 ¡V 6 „³ What we are to be doing in God¡¦s power, because of who & whose we are.

3 Relationships & responsibilities of Christian men¡K husbands:

ć To His God 5:1-3; 15 -18

ƒá To His Wife 5:21 (subject to ¡K serve her¡K arrange yourself under her needs)

5:23 „³ leader

5:25ff „³ loving Christ-like leader (her needs, her purity, her nourishment, her honor,

security, provision, her protection¡K)

AS CHRIST WOULD LOVE HER¡K.

Does anything change in the marriage relationship when a young couple has their first child?

Answer: YES!!!!! Everything changes and you wonder what happened. Instead of a tropical paradise = a zoo or a 3 ring circus¡K. couples begin to ask: What happened to our marriage? Wives say: My husband isn¡¦t the same person I married. We¡¦re more like roommates than lovers now. What about my needs? When do I get time off? We have little time or energy left for each other. We are in trouble, help!

When asked the question, ¡§Now that you have children what does our marriage need the most?¡¦

Wives answered: Time, time and more time; Time alone with my husband; time alone --- to myself; Bed rest; Help in sharing the household tasks; To know that I am still a desirable woman; I need understanding, affirmation, acceptance, sensitivity, loving touches, deeper spiritual commitment, money¡Kmore money¡K

My translation: She needs a Spirit controlled, loving Christ-like leader¡K

What might that look like?

[1 Corithians 13 --- ¡§Love never gives up on her, Love cares more for one¡¦s wife than for self, Love doesn¡¦t want what it doesn¡¦t have at her expense, Love doesn¡¦t strut it stuff, doesn¡¦t have a swelled head/ isn¡¦t full of himself, doesn¡¦t force his desires on her, Isn¡¦t always ¡¥me first¡¦, Doesn¡¦t fly off the handle at her, Doesn¡¦t keep score of her mistakes; [LOVE] takes pleasure in hearing her honest thoughts and feelings, puts up with anything seeking her welfare, [LOVE] trusts God always, always looks for the best in her, never looks back¡Kbut keeps on going¡K. Love never dies but deepens and grows with their changing roles.