The Weight Of Judgment: How It Affects Our Relationship

I. Introduction

Recently I read “The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional by Gary Chapman” He wrote about his counseling experience, he explains, “When couples come to me for counseling, I often give each individual a sheet of paper and ask them to list their spouse’s faults. They will write profusely for ten or fifteen minutes. Some even ask for more paper.

Then I ask them to make a list of their own faults. Most people can think of one. But I have seen them sit there and sit there trying to think of a second. Seldom has anyone come back to my office with more than four things on that list. We see twenty-seven things wrong with our spouse, but we only have four on our own list.

We tend to see ourselves through rose-colored glasses. Our faults do not look very big to us because we are used to them. We have lived with them for years. Naturally, then, we attribute the real problem to our mate’s behavior.”

This portion was the inspiration for this sermon. Thank you, Gary Chapman.

A. The prevalence of judgment in society

Admitting our own failures is an important step in seeking genuine reconciliation with our spouse. When we are willing to take responsibility for our own mistakes, it shows our spouse that we are serious about fixing the problem. It also opens the door for them to be more open and honest with us about their own faults.

Here are some tips for admitting your own failures to your spouse:

Be specific. Don't just say "I'm sorry." Tell your spouse what you did wrong and how it affected them.

Be sincere. Your spouse will be able to tell if you're not being genuine.

Be willing to listen. Once you've admitted your mistake, be prepared to listen to your spouse's feelings.

Be willing to make amends. Take steps to make things right, such as apologizing, changing your behavior, or doing something to help your spouse.

B. The call to examine our own hearts

Admitting your own failures is not always easy, but it is an important step in building a strong and healthy relationship.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind when admitting your own failures to your spouse:

Choose a time when you are both calm and relaxed.

Avoid blaming or making excuses.

Focus on the specific behavior or action that you are apologizing for.

Be willing to listen to your spouse's feelings and perspective.

Be open to discussing how you can make things better.

Admitting your own failures can be a difficult but important step in improving your relationship with your spouse. By following these tips, you can make the process a little easier and more productive.

II. Examining Our Hearts: The Root of Judgment

A. Matthew 7:1-2 - "Do not judge, or you too will be judged."

This verse is part of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, where He teaches about various aspects of righteous living. In this specific passage, Jesus is cautioning against a judgmental attitude towards others. He warns that if you judge others, you should expect to be judged by the same standard. Essentially, it encourages self-reflection and empathy before passing judgment on others.

B. Luke 6:45 - "For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks."

This verse emphasizes the connection between one's heart and their words. It suggests that the words people speak are a reflection of their inner thoughts and feelings. In the context of judgment, it implies that if judgmental or negative words come from someone's mouth, it may indicate a heart filled with judgment and negativity. It underscores the importance of cultivating a good heart to speak positively and lovingly.

C. Romans 2:1 - "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else."

The book of Romans, written by the Apostle Paul, addresses various theological and ethical issues. In this verse, Paul is admonishing those who pass judgment on others while also committing the same sins. He argues that such judgment is hypocritical, as everyone is accountable for their actions. It serves as a reminder to focus on self-examination and humility rather than condemning others.

III. The Danger of Pride: Removing the Plank from Our Eyes

Pride is a powerful emotion that can have a profound impact on our lives. When we are prideful, we put ourselves above others and think that we are better than them. This can lead to a number of negative consequences, including:

• Isolation: Prideful people often isolate themselves from others because they believe that they are better off on their own. This can lead to loneliness, depression, and anxiety.

• Conflict: Prideful people are often quick to anger and conflict with others. They may be unwilling to listen to others or compromise, which can damage relationships.