I. Introduction
Recently I read “The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional by Gary Chapman” He wrote about his counseling experience, he explains, “When couples come to me for counseling, I often give each individual a sheet of paper and ask them to list their spouse’s faults. They will write profusely for ten or fifteen minutes. Some even ask for more paper.
Then I ask them to make a list of their own faults. Most people can think of one. But I have seen them sit there and sit there trying to think of a second. Seldom has anyone come back to my office with more than four things on that list. We see twenty-seven things wrong with our spouse, but we only have four on our own list.
We tend to see ourselves through rose-colored glasses. Our faults do not look very big to us because we are used to them. We have lived with them for years. Naturally, then, we attribute the real problem to our mate’s behavior.”
This portion was the inspiration for this sermon. Thank you, Gary Chapman.
A. The prevalence of judgment in society
Admitting our own failures is an important step in seeking genuine reconciliation with our spouse. When we are willing to take responsibility for our own mistakes, it shows our spouse that we are serious about fixing the problem. It also opens the door for them to be more open and honest with us about their own faults.
Here are some tips for admitting your own failures to your spouse:
Be specific. Don't just say "I'm sorry." Tell your spouse what you did wrong and how it affected them.
Be sincere. Your spouse will be able to tell if you're not being genuine.
Be willing to listen. Once you've admitted your mistake, be prepared to listen to your spouse's feelings.
Be willing to make amends. Take steps to make things right, such as apologizing, changing your behavior, or doing something to help your spouse.
B. The call to examine our own hearts
Admitting your own failures is not always easy, but it is an important step in building a strong and healthy relationship.
Here are some additional things to keep in mind when admitting your own failures to your spouse:
Choose a time when you are both calm and relaxed.
Avoid blaming or making excuses.
Focus on the specific behavior or action that you are apologizing for.
Be willing to listen to your spouse's feelings and perspective.
Be open to discussing how you can make things better.
Admitting your own failures can be a difficult but important step in improving your relationship with your spouse. By following these tips, you can make the process a little easier and more productive.
II. Examining Our Hearts: The Root of Judgment
A. Matthew 7:1-2 - "Do not judge, or you too will be judged."
This verse is part of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, where He teaches about various aspects of righteous living. In this specific passage, Jesus is cautioning against a judgmental attitude towards others. He warns that if you judge others, you should expect to be judged by the same standard. Essentially, it encourages self-reflection and empathy before passing judgment on others.
B. Luke 6:45 - "For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks."
This verse emphasizes the connection between one's heart and their words. It suggests that the words people speak are a reflection of their inner thoughts and feelings. In the context of judgment, it implies that if judgmental or negative words come from someone's mouth, it may indicate a heart filled with judgment and negativity. It underscores the importance of cultivating a good heart to speak positively and lovingly.
C. Romans 2:1 - "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else."
The book of Romans, written by the Apostle Paul, addresses various theological and ethical issues. In this verse, Paul is admonishing those who pass judgment on others while also committing the same sins. He argues that such judgment is hypocritical, as everyone is accountable for their actions. It serves as a reminder to focus on self-examination and humility rather than condemning others.
III. The Danger of Pride: Removing the Plank from Our Eyes
Pride is a powerful emotion that can have a profound impact on our lives. When we are prideful, we put ourselves above others and think that we are better than them. This can lead to a number of negative consequences, including:
• Isolation: Prideful people often isolate themselves from others because they believe that they are better off on their own. This can lead to loneliness, depression, and anxiety.
• Conflict: Prideful people are often quick to anger and conflict with others. They may be unwilling to listen to others or compromise, which can damage relationships.
• Destruction: Pride can lead to destructive behavior, such as addiction, violence, and crime. When we are prideful, we may be more likely to take risks and make bad decisions that can harm ourselves and others.
• Loss of opportunities: Pride can prevent us from taking advantage of opportunities that could help us grow and succeed. We may be too proud to ask for help or admit that we need help, which can limit our potential.
• Separation from God: Pride is the opposite of humility, which is a quality that God values. When we are prideful, we are essentially saying that we are better than God. This can lead to a separation from God and a loss of His blessings.
The Bible warns us about the dangers of pride. In Proverbs 16:18, it says, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." This means that pride can lead to our downfall. In 1 Peter 5:5, it says, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." This means that God will not bless us if we are prideful.
If we want to live a happy and fulfilling life, we need to learn to overcome pride. We can do this by:
• Acknowledge our weaknesses: We all have weaknesses and flaws. When we acknowledge our weaknesses, we become less prideful and more humble.
• Be grateful: Gratitude helps us to focus on the good things in our lives, which can help to reduce pride.
• Serve others: When we serve others, we put their needs before our own, which is the opposite of pride.
• Seek God's help: We cannot overcome pride on our own. We need God's help to humble ourselves and become more like Him.
The danger of pride is real, but it is not insurmountable. If we are willing to work at it, we can overcome pride and live a life that is pleasing to God.
A. Matthew 7:3-4 - "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
- This passage is a continuation of the verses from Matthew 7:1-2, where Jesus cautions against judging others. Here, He uses a metaphorical illustration to highlight the absurdity of focusing on minor faults in others while ignoring major flaws in oneself. It underscores the need for self-awareness and humility before addressing the faults of others.
B. Proverbs 16:18 - "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."
- This proverb warns about the consequences of pride and arrogance. It suggests that when people become excessively proud and haughty, they are more likely to experience downfall and destruction. It serves as a reminder of the importance of humility and the dangers of overestimating one's abilities or worth.
C. Galatians 6:3 - "If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves."
- In this verse from the book of Galatians, the Apostle Paul addresses the issue of self-deception through pride. He advises against having an inflated view of oneself and thinking that one is more significant or righteous than they truly are. This verse emphasizes the importance of honest self-assessment and recognizing one's limitations.
IV. Transforming Perspectives: Seeing Through the Lens of Compassion
Compassion is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It is a deep feeling of empathy and concern for the welfare of others. When we see the world through the lens of compassion, we are able to see beyond our own perspective and understand the experiences of others. This can help us to be more understanding, forgiving, and helpful.
There are many ways to see the world through the lens of compassion. Here are a few examples:
• Practice active listening: When we actively listen to someone, we are giving them our full attention and trying to understand their point of view. This can help us to see things from their perspective and develop compassion for them.
• Be mindful of our own biases: We all have biases, but it is important to be aware of them and how they might be affecting our perception of others. When we are mindful of our biases, we can be more objective and understanding.
• Extend empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. When we empathize with someone, we are able to put ourselves in their shoes and feel what they are feeling. This can help us to develop compassion for them.
• Help others: One of the best ways to develop compassion is to help others. When we help others, we are putting their needs before our own. This can help us to see the world from their perspective and develop a deep understanding of their suffering.
Seeing the world through the lens of compassion can have a profound impact on our lives. It can make us more understanding, forgiving, and helpful. It can also help us to build stronger relationships and create a more just and compassionate world.
Here are some additional benefits of seeing the world through the lens of compassion:
• Reduces stress and anxiety: When we are compassionate, we are less likely to be judgmental and critical of ourselves and others. This can help to reduce stress and anxiety.
• Improves relationships: Compassion can help us to build stronger and more meaningful relationships. When we are compassionate, we are more likely to be understanding, forgiving, and supportive of others.
• Promotes peace and understanding: Compassion can help to promote peace and understanding in the world. When we are compassionate, we are more likely to be tolerant and accepting of others, even those who are different from us.
If we want to create a more compassionate world, we need to start by seeing the world through the lens of compassion. We can do this by practicing active listening, being mindful of our biases, extending empathy, and helping others. When we do these things, we are taking steps to make the world a kinder and more compassionate place.
A. Matthew 7:5 - "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
- This verse follows the previous verses in Matthew 7 and reiterates the idea of self-examination and humility. It underscores the notion that once we've addressed our own faults and shortcomings, we can better help others with their issues. It encourages us to be compassionate and understanding when offering help or correction to others.
B. Colossians 3:12 - "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."
- This verse from the book of Colossians emphasizes the qualities that believers should cultivate in their lives. Compassion is listed as one of these qualities, highlighting its significance in Christian living. It encourages believers to embody compassion along with other virtues, recognizing that they are God's chosen people and should reflect His love in their actions.
C. 1 Peter 3:8 - "Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble."
- In this verse from 1 Peter, the Apostle Peter encourages unity and empathy among believers. He calls for like-mindedness, sympathy, love, compassion, and humility. This verse reminds Christians of the importance of understanding and compassion in their relationships with fellow believers and others.
Collectively, these passages stress the need to approach others with compassion, kindness, and humility, while also reminding us to address our own faults and shortcomings before being critical of others. They promote a transformation of perspective, encouraging us to see through the lens of compassion when dealing with others.
V. Restoring Relationships: Healing Through Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the process of letting go of anger, resentment, and bitterness towards someone who has hurt us. It is not about condoning or forgetting what happened, but about releasing the negative emotions that are holding us back.
Forgiveness can be a difficult process, but it is essential for healing and restoring relationships. When we forgive someone, we are not saying that what they did was okay. We are simply saying that we are no longer going to let their actions control our lives.
There are many benefits to forgiveness. Forgiveness can help us to:
• Reduce stress and anxiety: Holding on to anger and resentment can take a toll on our physical and mental health. Forgiveness can help us to reduce stress and anxiety and improve our overall well-being.
• Improve our relationships: Forgiveness can help us to rebuild trust and closeness in our relationships. When we forgive someone, we are showing them that we are willing to move on and that we still care about them.
• Increase our self-esteem: Forgiveness can help us to feel better about ourselves and our ability to cope with difficult situations. When we forgive someone, we are taking control of our own emotions and refusing to let them be controlled by someone else.
• Live more peacefully: Forgiveness can help us to let go of the past and focus on the present. When we forgive someone, we are opening ourselves up to new possibilities and opportunities.
If you are struggling to forgive someone, there are a few things you can do:
• Talk to someone you trust: Talking to a friend, family member, therapist, or religious leader can help you to process your emotions and work through the forgiveness process.
• Practice self-care: Taking care of your physical and mental health can help you to feel better equipped to deal with the challenges of forgiveness.
• Give yourself time: Forgiveness is a process that takes time. Don't expect to forgive someone overnight.
• Be patient with yourself: Forgiveness is not always easy. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel your emotions.
Forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. It is a process of healing and growth. If you are willing to put in the work, forgiveness can be a powerful tool for healing and restoring relationships.
Here are some additional tips for forgiving someone who has hurt you:
• Try to understand why the person hurt you: This doesn't mean you have to agree with their actions, but it can help you to see things from their perspective.
• Remember that everyone makes mistakes: We all make mistakes, and the person who hurt you is no exception.
• Focus on the present: Don't dwell on the past. Instead, focus on the present and the future.
• Give yourself permission to forgive: You don't have to forgive someone overnight. Give yourself time and space to heal.
• Be kind to yourself: Forgiveness is a process, and it's okay if you slip up sometimes. Just keep trying.
Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is worth it. When we forgive someone, we are not only healing ourselves, but we are also helping to heal the world.
A. Matthew 6:14-15 - "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
- In these verses from the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus emphasizes the connection between forgiveness and receiving forgiveness from God. He teaches that those who forgive others will themselves receive forgiveness from God. This passage underscores the significance of forgiveness as a fundamental aspect of the Christian faith.
B. Ephesians 4:32 - "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
- The book of Ephesians encourages believers to practice forgiveness by following the example of Christ's forgiveness. It calls for kindness, compassion, and forgiveness in our interactions with others. This verse emphasizes the profound impact of Christ's forgiveness on how Christians should treat one another.
C. Colossians 3:13 - "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
- In this passage from Colossians, believers are urged to forgive one another as the Lord has forgiven them. It recognizes that grievances may arise in relationships but emphasizes the importance of bearing with each other and extending forgiveness. The reference to forgiving as the Lord forgave underscores the depth and extent of forgiveness that Christians are called to practice.
These passages collectively teach that forgiveness is a central theme in Christianity, emphasizing the importance of forgiving others as a reflection of the forgiveness believers have received from God through Christ. Forgiveness is seen as a means of healing and restoring relationships, promoting kindness, compassion, and reconciliation.
VI. Building Bridges, Breaking Barriers: Embracing God's Love in a Judgmental World
We live in a world that is often judgmental and critical. People are quick to judge others based on their appearance, their beliefs, or their actions. This can make it difficult to feel loved and accepted, especially if we are different from the majority.
But God loves us unconditionally. He loves us no matter what we look like, what we believe, or what we have done. He sees our hearts and knows that we are all worthy of His love.
If we want to embrace God's love in a judgmental world, we need to learn to see the world through His eyes. We need to see people as He sees them: as beloved children of God. We need to be compassionate and understanding, even when it is difficult.
We can also build bridges and break barriers by reaching out to people who are different from us. We can get to know them and learn about their experiences. We can share our faith and love with them, and let them know that they are accepted and loved.
It is not always easy to embrace God's love in a judgmental world. But it is possible. When we do, we can make the world a more loving and accepting place.
Here are some specific things we can do to embrace God's love in a judgmental world:
• Practice compassion: Compassion is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. When we are compassionate, we are less likely to judge others and more likely to show them love and acceptance.
• Be forgiving: Forgiveness is the act of releasing anger, resentment, and bitterness towards someone who has hurt us. When we forgive, we are not saying that what the person did was okay. We are simply saying that we are no longer going to let their actions control our lives.
• Be kind: Kindness is the act of doing something nice for someone else, without expecting anything in return. When we are kind, we are showing others that we care about them and that we value them.
• Be accepting: Acceptance is the act of recognizing and respecting the differences between people. When we are accepting, we are open to learning about others and understanding their perspectives.
• Be a peacemaker: A peacemaker is someone who works to resolve conflict and build harmony. When we are peacemakers, we are working to make the world a more loving and accepting place.
These are just a few things we can do to embrace God's love in a judgmental world. When we do these things, we are not only making the world a better place, but we are also reflecting the love of God to others.
A. Matthew 22:39 - "Love your neighbor as yourself."
- In this verse, Jesus summarizes one of the two greatest commandments, emphasizing the significance of loving one's neighbor as oneself. It teaches the principle of treating others with the same love, kindness, and consideration that one would want for themselves, fostering a sense of unity and empathy.
B. John 13:34-35 - "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another."
- Jesus introduces a new commandment here, emphasizing the importance of love among His followers. He sets the standard for love as His own example, and He connects this love to the identification of His disciples. Loving one another is not only a command but also a defining characteristic of those who follow Christ.
C. Romans 12:18 - "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
- This verse from Romans encourages believers to pursue peace with everyone to the extent that it depends on them. It recognizes that conflicts and divisions may exist but underscores the Christian's responsibility to strive for peace and reconciliation, even in a world marked by judgment and discord.
VII. Conclusion
In conclusion, the passages we've explored highlight the profound importance of examining our hearts, practicing compassion, and embracing God's love in a judgmental world.
A. Through these passages, we've learned the significance of self-examination and humility. They remind us not to judge others hastily but to first reflect on our own faults and shortcomings. A compassionate heart, free from pride, allows us to see others in a more empathetic light.
B. These principles are not meant to remain theoretical but should be applied in our daily lives and relationships. We are encouraged to practice forgiveness, kindness, and empathy. By doing so, we can foster healthier relationships, promote understanding, and contribute to a more harmonious and loving community.
C. Lastly, these passages call us to embrace God's love as the guiding force in our lives, allowing it to shape our attitudes and actions. Love your neighbor as yourself, love one another as Christ loved us—these commands emphasize the transformative power of love and the role it plays in bridging divides and breaking down barriers.
In a world often marked by judgment and discord, these biblical teachings offer a timeless and profound blueprint for a more compassionate and harmonious existence. By examining our hearts, practicing compassion, and embracing God's love, we can be agents of positive change, fostering unity, healing, and understanding in our communities and beyond.
