The Transforming Power Of "i Am Sorry"

THE TRANSFORMING POWER OF "I AM SORRY"

"31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:31-32.

Have you ever been hurt by someone you love? How do you cope after you've been betrayed, wounded, and heartbroken by the one who promised to love and defend you? Perhaps they have hurt you physically, verbally, financially, or emotionally. The truth is, we'll be hurt. Even if you fast and pray against it, it can still come. So the question is, how do we respond? When your spouse is constantly hurting you, what do you do?

"21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go your way. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:21-24.

We all make mistakes; none is perfect. We hurt one another with the words we say and with the things we do or forget to do. There's no perfect relationship, except on social media. You may see the beautiful pictures your friends' posts on Facebook, but you didn’t hear the big argument they had last night. The truth is, every marriage will face relationship and communication problems. No marriage is perfect! You are not perfect, and your spouse is not perfect, either. Everyone has flaws! Even happy couples argue and sometimes they fight dirty. We fall short of expectations—and not just once or twice, but in many ways. Every marriage will experience difficulty because each one brings to the table individual's thoughts, feelings, personalities, wants, needs, family issues, desires, expectations, and habits. Sometimes we hurt each other on purpose, and at times we had no idea that we offended them. At times we allow pride to gets in the way of admitting we were wrong. So to have the perfect marriage you must invest daily in your relationship. It doesn’t just happen! Choose to work daily on your marital garden. The grass is not always greener on the other side! Tend to your marriage. You'll be amazed at how beautiful yours will be once you begin to water them. Disagreement will occur! When it does, don’t look for excuses. Promptly apologize. There’s a lot of work that goes into having a perfect home.

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24.

Kind words are important to every marriage. It helps calm heated situations. Your words can bring healing to a bleeding soul. The words we speak to our loved ones are seeds that are planted and we'll surely reap the harvest. Are your words healing or hurting? Are you speaking words of love or hate? Pleasant words give strength. They bring life to a dying marriage. Hurtful words stir up, provoke, rouse, or cause anger to increase. But a soft answer extinguishes anger. Do your words seem to stir up trouble? You can end the conflict by calming words. You can end contentious matters peaceably by responding gently and kindly. You can use your words to uplift. Even when you're experiencing times of crisis at home, you can still speak kindly. Do not demean your spouse. Choose to speak words that encourage. “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” Proverbs 12:25. Do you snap at your spouse, co-workers, or friends? Proverbs 12:18. Next time you're tempted to speak harshly, stop for a moment. Be slow to anger. Think before you speak; it will preserve your marriage! "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15 :1

WHEN IS IT RIGHT TO SAY "SORRY"?

Misunderstanding lingers between couples because no one wants to apologize. Saying sorry cannot undo what has been done, but it can help ease the pain. Saying "I am sorry" cannot change the past, but it can help to ease the heartache. A simple “I am sorry” can go a long way toward restoring peace and goodwill after an offense.

"4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;" 1 Corinthians 13:4-5.