The Mystery Of Forgiving & Forgetting: Is It Possible?

The Mystery of Forgiving & Forgetting: Is it Possible?

We often hear the saying, "I forgive you now, but remember, if you do it again, there will be consequences..."

As sinners, we find it so difficult to forget the mistakes of others. But conversely, we often easily forget the good that others have done for us.

In our life in this world, we cannot escape interacting with others. We cannot live alone, but we live together. Starting from different backgrounds, different educations, different characters, and different spiritualities, different views, cause us to be indeed different. Don't expect us to be the same, because we were created differently by God. However, in this difference, we are united in God with all its human elements. That is why we can still have clashes, frictions or conflicts.

I remember very well, at the Bible Seminary, we lived in dormitories. In one room there were 3 or 4 people. With our different backgrounds, of course there would be clashes. The eldest child meets the youngest. The child of a rich person meets the child of an ordinary person. An only child meets those who have many siblings, a city child meets a village child. And many more. Not to mention if each brings traditions from their home. In my room, for example, one semester I met a very complicated friend, we were not allowed to put up decorations in the room, it was considered idolatrous, he was afraid there was mysticism. Others, their ears are very sensitive, if they hear a slight sound they wake up, while other friends are a bit rough when opening the door. Well, that often happens clashes, not to mention in terms of speaking. This is where we are formed, our ego is eroded. Whatever happens, if there is forgiveness, there is forgiveness, then there will be peace. It's not easy, is it! But it must be possible?

Then the question becomes, is it possible for us to Forgive & Forget?

Forgive and Forget. Two good words, but also two actions that are difficult to put into practice. Here are 3 things that have been contemplated for us to ponder, in connection with Forgiveness & Forgetting.

1. PERFECT FORGIVENESS DOES NOT HOLD ONTO WRONGS

Every recognized religion must teach about forgiveness. No religion teaches revenge and retaliation. So what is the difference with the forgiveness taught by Jesus?

For us believers, talking about forgiveness, we cannot be separated from Love. And the love referred to here is not just words on the mouth, or visible acts of caring, like we participate in giving food to the people around us. But more than that, namely love from the deepest heart, a sincere heart. That is why it must be accompanied by willingness, not coercion.

Talking about forgiveness, I am always reminded of the figure of Philemon. When Philemon was asked by the Apostle Paul to receive Onesimus back who had cheated him, no longer as a slave but as a brother, let's imagine if our position was Philemon? Not easy, is it!

A practical example, there is an employee of ours, he has betrayed us, legally he can be arrested and imprisoned, even in those days as a slave he could also be killed, but this employee of ours runs away, meets a pastor, then he studies the Bible and repents. Then the pastor writes a letter, asks him to take it and give it to you, the contents of the letter are to accept him back, and remember no longer as an employee, but as your brother! Do you think it's easy! Not at all. This is what Philemon faced, and this is what a Christian is.

In 1 Corinthians 13: 4 Love is patient; love is kind; it does not envy. It does not boast and is not proud.

Furthermore, verse 5 It does not behave indecently and does not seek its own advantage. It is not easily angered and does not hold onto the wrongs of others. So it is clear, forgiveness will not be realized if we still hold onto the wrongs of others.

2. PERFECT FORGIVENESS MUST FORGET

The root of "forgive" is the Latin word "perdonare," meaning "to give completely, without reservation."

Once again, it is emphasized, forgiveness that still holds on to wrongs is fake forgiveness. We need total forgiveness, and total forgiveness is not easy. But it must be!

Hebrews 10:14 For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.

On the cross, Jesus has redeemed our sins. Does Jesus forget our sins? We all believe that Jesus the Lord we worship is truly the almighty, all-knowing God. Now how can this all-knowing Jesus forget our sins? As humans, as long as our memory is still good (not Alzheimer's), we will still remember the events in our lives. It's a lie if we say we have forgotten it, unless the incident happened in infancy.