The Mystery of Forgiving & Forgetting: Is it Possible?
We often hear the saying, "I forgive you now, but remember, if you do it again, there will be consequences..."
As sinners, we find it so difficult to forget the mistakes of others. But conversely, we often easily forget the good that others have done for us.
In our life in this world, we cannot escape interacting with others. We cannot live alone, but we live together. Starting from different backgrounds, different educations, different characters, and different spiritualities, different views, cause us to be indeed different. Don't expect us to be the same, because we were created differently by God. However, in this difference, we are united in God with all its human elements. That is why we can still have clashes, frictions or conflicts.
I remember very well, at the Bible Seminary, we lived in dormitories. In one room there were 3 or 4 people. With our different backgrounds, of course there would be clashes. The eldest child meets the youngest. The child of a rich person meets the child of an ordinary person. An only child meets those who have many siblings, a city child meets a village child. And many more. Not to mention if each brings traditions from their home. In my room, for example, one semester I met a very complicated friend, we were not allowed to put up decorations in the room, it was considered idolatrous, he was afraid there was mysticism. Others, their ears are very sensitive, if they hear a slight sound they wake up, while other friends are a bit rough when opening the door. Well, that often happens clashes, not to mention in terms of speaking. This is where we are formed, our ego is eroded. Whatever happens, if there is forgiveness, there is forgiveness, then there will be peace. It's not easy, is it! But it must be possible?
Then the question becomes, is it possible for us to Forgive & Forget?
Forgive and Forget. Two good words, but also two actions that are difficult to put into practice. Here are 3 things that have been contemplated for us to ponder, in connection with Forgiveness & Forgetting.
1. PERFECT FORGIVENESS DOES NOT HOLD ONTO WRONGS
Every recognized religion must teach about forgiveness. No religion teaches revenge and retaliation. So what is the difference with the forgiveness taught by Jesus?
For us believers, talking about forgiveness, we cannot be separated from Love. And the love referred to here is not just words on the mouth, or visible acts of caring, like we participate in giving food to the people around us. But more than that, namely love from the deepest heart, a sincere heart. That is why it must be accompanied by willingness, not coercion.
Talking about forgiveness, I am always reminded of the figure of Philemon. When Philemon was asked by the Apostle Paul to receive Onesimus back who had cheated him, no longer as a slave but as a brother, let's imagine if our position was Philemon? Not easy, is it!
A practical example, there is an employee of ours, he has betrayed us, legally he can be arrested and imprisoned, even in those days as a slave he could also be killed, but this employee of ours runs away, meets a pastor, then he studies the Bible and repents. Then the pastor writes a letter, asks him to take it and give it to you, the contents of the letter are to accept him back, and remember no longer as an employee, but as your brother! Do you think it's easy! Not at all. This is what Philemon faced, and this is what a Christian is.
In 1 Corinthians 13: 4 Love is patient; love is kind; it does not envy. It does not boast and is not proud.
Furthermore, verse 5 It does not behave indecently and does not seek its own advantage. It is not easily angered and does not hold onto the wrongs of others. So it is clear, forgiveness will not be realized if we still hold onto the wrongs of others.
2. PERFECT FORGIVENESS MUST FORGET
The root of "forgive" is the Latin word "perdonare," meaning "to give completely, without reservation."
Once again, it is emphasized, forgiveness that still holds on to wrongs is fake forgiveness. We need total forgiveness, and total forgiveness is not easy. But it must be!
Hebrews 10:14 For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.
On the cross, Jesus has redeemed our sins. Does Jesus forget our sins? We all believe that Jesus the Lord we worship is truly the almighty, all-knowing God. Now how can this all-knowing Jesus forget our sins? As humans, as long as our memory is still good (not Alzheimer's), we will still remember the events in our lives. It's a lie if we say we have forgotten it, unless the incident happened in infancy.
Back to Hebrews 10:14, For by one sacrifice He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified. The sacrifice of Jesus, the Redemption of Jesus has perfected "forever" and sanctified.
I am sure Jesus will not forget our sins. He is all-knowing, there is nothing He does not know. But the Bible records, Jesus never reveals our sins again. This is God's promise.
Hebrews 10:16 "This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds."
Continue 10:17 "Then he adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.”
Honestly, we often fail to forgive perfectly, because we find it difficult to forget. But remembering the word of God that we study, then we must forget it. I know we need a process, at least so that we learn not to remember it anymore.
Illustration: A pastor whose wife died. During the funeral……old age together, must forgive each other…….
In Matthew 6: 14-15 it is written "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
3. PERFECT FORGIVENESS, ALWAYS REMEMBER THE GOOD..
.. Hebrews 10:17 "Then he adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” (meaning the good is remembered)
Because of our humanity, even though we have studied the word long enough, God has taught us about forgiveness, we still find it difficult to practice it. But Jesus wants to emphasize to us that forgiveness is not just a command from Jesus that enters the right ear and then exits the left ear, but it must be practiced in our daily lives, even repeatedly throughout life.
Try comparing it with Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
John 7:53–8:11
The Woman Caught in Adultery
7:53 Then everyone went home. 8:1 But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 8:2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 8:3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 8:4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 8:5 In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 8:6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 8:7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8:8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. 8:9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 8:10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 8:11 “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
People say that because of a drop of indigo, a pot of milk is ruined. Humans are imperfect, when we are good then people praise us, but once we do evil, then all the goodness disappears, we are immediately reviled. So, the reality in the world, people prefer to remember mistakes than kindness.
But learning from the teachings of Jesus, remember to forget evil and remember good. The important thing is that there is repentance.
When the youngest son who had been rude to his father, who asked for the inheritance when his father was still alive, then squandered it and went bankrupt, then returned home, then the father received his son without mentioning his bad deeds again. He accepted his repentance as goodness... He did not say, wait a minute, return the inheritance you once took, find money first, pay with credit is okay. No, the father did not say that, but he opened his arms wide and hugged his son.
When the tax collector Zacchaeus who had harmed many people, who had extorted people's wealth, and one moment in the city of Jericho he met Jesus and repented, then he was forgiven, he realized...and his actions were praised.
We need to remember that our happiness, joy, our joy, does not depend on how much wealth we have. Nor does it depend on how smart we are. But remember, it depends on whether our relationship with God is right or not. If our relationship with fellow human beings is not right, then we will not live in peace, let alone if our relationship with God is not right. Therefore, if our relationship with God is right, then our relationship with fellow human beings will definitely be right, so it will not be difficult for us to forgive others. If our relationship with God is not right, let alone forgive others, we find it very difficult to forgive ourselves. But once again we get great comfort, the Lord Jesus has first sacrificed for us, He forgives us.
In closing, here's a quote from Jonathan Lockwood Huie: Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.
"Forgive others not because they deserve to be forgiven but because you deserve peace."
1. Remember Forgiveness:
2. Does Not Hold Wrongs
3. Must Forget
4. Remembering Goodness
