The Marriage Dilemma

THE MARRIAGE DILEMMA

Introduction

A. It is reported that the divorce rate has hit a 50-year low. However, the marriage rate fell by 60% over the same

period, so statistics are not helpful.

B. The church has not escaped the divorce dilemma, but we don’t have divorce dilemmas until we have

marriage dilemmas. Three things—more than anything else—cause marriage dilemmas.

I. A FAULTY VIEW OF PERSONS IS THE FIRST PROBLEM

A. Consider the Old Testament practice of polygamy, which was permitted, but not approved by God (Matt 19:8).

1. While the Jews apparently made some concessions to women, allowing them to seek a divorce, the Law

of Moses expressly permits it only to the man.

2. Under no circumstances could a wife take more than one husband.

3. Exodus 20:17 may give us some insight into the thinking of the time: women were property men, either

their fathers or their husbands.

B. One of the greatest causes of unhappiness in marriage is a faulty view of persons, viewing them as a thing, a

possession.

II. THE SECOND FAULTY VIEW THAT CREATES MARRIAGE DILEMMAS IS HUMAN SEXUALITY

A. Some of us were born into a world dominated by Victorianism, in which sex was viewed as an evil appetite to

be tolerated in marriage.

1. Good wives were not good lovers.

2. Good lovers were not good husbands.

B. Those born since the sexual revolution have been born into a world in which sex is seen as simply an

appetite to be satisfied however and with whomever.

C. Both views are founded on the same premise: sex is an activity.

1. Sex is not something one simply does; it is something we are—male and female in every cell in our

bodies (Matt 19:4-5).

2. There is no such thing as casual sex—uncommitted sex, yes; casual sex, no (1 Cor 6:16).

III. THE THIRD FAULTY OF MARRIAGE IS A FAULTY VIEW OF DIVORCE

A. Unhappy, we turn to lawyers, both secular and ecclesiastical, to find a way out of this dilemma.

1. Our basic error in regard to divorce is to view God’s prohibition of it simply as a legal code and the

indissolubility of marriage somewhat like the doctrine of the indissolubility of the Union.

2. Our nature as sexual beings is a part of God’s law; so, from that point of view, the law is universal as is

marriage. When we violate God’s law, we violate our own nature.

B. If there were no laws, secular or divine, regulating divorce, there would be the same pain, the same tearing

apart of the one flesh, as there is now. Divorce isn’t destructive and painful because God has prohibited it. It

is prohibited by God because it is destructive and painful, a sin against persons and our own sexual nature.

Conclusion

A. This may have touched some more than others.

B. The purpose is to prevent pain, not cause pain.