The Man Who Was Called Noah

Then, In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the ark and bring everything aboard in one year."

Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult.

The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping.

"Noah," He shouted, "Where is the Ark?"

"Lord, please forgive me," cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems.

• First, I had to get a permit for construction, and Your plans did not meet the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans.

• Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the ark needed a fire sprinkler system and flotation devices.

• Then my neighbors objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.

• Then I had problems getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the spotted owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service wouldn't let me catch any owls. So, no owls.

• The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or a hammer. Now I have 16 carpenters on the ark, but still no owls.

• When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard.

• Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on Your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe.

• Then the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed new flood plain. So I sent them a globe.

• Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard.

• The IRS has seized my assets, claiming that I'm building the ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the state that I owe them some kind of user tax, and failed to register the Ark as a 'recreational water craft'.

• Finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event and, therefore, unconstitutional.”

"I really don't think I can finish the ark for another five or six years", Noah wailed.

The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine, and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean You are NOT going to destroy the earth, Lord?"

"No," said the Lord sadly, "I don't have to. The government already has."

While this is a joke, a great deal of this is true.

Illus: While 911 is considered to be the greatest tragedy in the U.S., what took place during the days of Noah makes 911 look like no tragedy at all.

Let’s look at the story of Noah in the scriptures. The Bible has a great deal to say about things before and after the flood. How were things before the flood? They were …

I. A MESS

Look at Genesis 6:1-7, we read, “And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them, That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose. And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years. There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown. And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.”