The Last Mourning

They have taken him away. They have taken my Lord away. Why did they have to do it? Wasn't it enough to kill him? Why did they have to steal his body? He isn't any threat to them any more, if he ever was, and neither are we. Why couldn't they just leave us alone to tend his grave?

He didn't do anything wrong. Everybody knows how good he was. Practically every person in Judea has heard him teach. Only last week when he came up to Jerusalem for the Passover Feast the whole city came out to see him, they were lining the road up from Bethany, spreading out their cloaks on the road for him and shouting "Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest!"

But it was just a show. They didn't mean it. They didn't love him like we did.They didn't know him like we did. They're just like children at a party, you know? They'll clap and shout for anybody as long as they're on top, just because everyone else does. But not one of them stood up for Jesus when he needed their support.

Three days ago the Sanhedrin sent the Temple guards to arrest Jesus. Did you know that they had to sneak about in the dark to do it, because they were afraid the people of Jerusalem would riot if they took Jesus away in front of them? That's a laugh, that is. When Pontius Pilate offered to free either Barabbas or Jesus for the Passover amnesty, the people chose Barabbas. Barabbas' followers were more loyal than Jesus', can you believe it? Oh - maybe you don't know who Barabbas was. He led a revolt against the Romans here in Jerusalem not too long ago. As far as I'm concerned, he deserved whatever he got. He killed a Roman soldier, and what good did it do? Whenever anybody does something like that the Romans just crack down harder and things get worse for the rest of us, even those who only ever wanted to live in peace. But the people wanted Barabbas freed instead of Jesus. The same people who were shouting "Hosanna!" for Jesus last Sunday were shouting "Crucify him!" on Friday.

So they killed him. They killed Jesus.The Sanhedrin and the Romans between them, they killed him. And the people let them.

They didn't know him like we did, of course.

I suppose I can't blame them for not wanting to stick their necks out. We knew him, though; we came up from Galilee with him, for the Passover, Peter and James and the others. Joanna and Salome and Susanna and I all came, this time, and so did Jesus' mother. There're a lot of us Marys around; there's another one in Bethany whose house Jesus always stays at when he comes to Jerusalem. I'm from Magdala, that's in Galilee just south of Capernaum, which is what I suppose you'd call Jesus' home base. This is the first time I've been to Jerusalem. Women don't, usually, especially if there are children at home; it's expensive, and crowded, and only the men have to make the temple sacrifices. Women aren't usually allowed to become disciples, either. Joanna and I, especially, were always getting called names and having to fend off indecent suggestions. Most people thought we were loose women, because we were following the Master instead of staying home. But I don't care. I never did, once I made up my mind.

I never thought I'd ever do anything like that. I got married when I was 15, right on schedule, to a weaver in Tiberias named Baruch, and expected to have a nice quiet life raising a half dozen or so children and taking care of my husband just the way every good Jewish girl is supposed to do. But it's not that easy. I don't know if you know anything about Galilee? It's called Galilee of the Gentiles, because we're so mixed. It's only in the last hundred years or so that we Jews have really settled there again since the exile.

It's pretty hard to live as a good Jew when half your neighbors are engaging in all kinds of heathen practices, doing business on the Sabbath and so on, and your trade depends on keeping on good terms with them all no matter what they do. I saw the struggles my friends had as their children were growing up. All the little boys want to go to the gymnasium to wrestle and race with their friends, but it's the Greek custom to do that sort of thing naked, without even a loincloth for decency's sake, and of course they make fun of our boys because they're circumcised. So instead of being proud of the sign of the covenant, many were ashamed. Some of my neighbors' sons departed from the law, saying that it was old-fashioned, that we had to move with the times. But the Zealots were even worse, in a way. Herod was supposedly our king, but he was half a goy himself and didn't care two shekels about obeying the law, and besides everyone knew it was really the Romans who ruled. The Zealots were all for running the Romans out, and they kept staging uprisings, or ambushing the Romans when they travelled. So the young men who weren't turning into little Greeks were turning into revolutionaries. And so I started wondering what point there was in trying to raise a family.