The Holy Family Counsels Our Modern Family

Feast of the Holy Family 2025

One of my favorite theologians has pointed out that St. Joseph had the hardest ministry of all. He was just an ordinary Jew who happened to be a descendant of King David, but that put him as the guardian and leader of two persons who were both in intimate contact with God. Jesus, of course, was the Son of God and Second Person of the Blessed Trinity. Mary was the human mother of Jesus, Son of God, and sinless. When we read Matthew’s account of Joseph’s call to head this family, of course he was a bit frightened. But Matthew also says he as a man was dikaios, which means he was a “living saint.” So he accepted God’s call, without a word of objection.

Now consider the second angelic dream Joseph experienced. He got the warning about the Roman-imposed phony king, Herod, trying to kill Jesus, the true newborn king of the Jews. He didn’t go back to sleep. Up, up and away the Holy Family went, not even waiting for dawn. They soon were on their journey to Egypt, where Joseph’s namesake, centuries before, had been prime minister for Pharaoh, regulated the agriculture along the Nile, and saved civilization from starvation during a long famine. St. Joseph, too, protected the boy and his mother, and for many months used his carpentry tools and skills to aid the Jewish community of Egypt and provide for Mary and Jesus. Finally, one more dream took them back to the land of Israel, but not to Bethlehem. Joseph was aware the Archelaus was as bad a despot as Herod, his father, so they went back to Galilee and settled in Mary’s family home in Nazareth. Again, Joseph followed God’s plan, without so much as a word “why?”

In counseling members of the Christian family, St. Paul taught what we might call “charity lived out in deference.” He gives a list of virtues like compassion, kindness and patience, which really came out of the Holy Family through Jesus, Mary and Joseph’s son. Over all the habits of goodness, Paul counseled charity, the bond of perfection, to keep any family or community together, united. He encouraged wives to let their husbands be the family protector and guide. But he also asked husbands to live in charity with both wives and children. Tyranny is the worst kind of leadership, in family, church or secular government.

The psalmist today shares the blessings that follow this family arrangement. It’s easy to see if you’ve followed the demographic decline of the West that wives truly need to look on their singular call to motherhood as their greatest blessing. And those of us who grew up as the only child of a family can probably give a dozen reasons why young couples should look at having more than one or two children. Sure, the singlet inherits everything, but then he can’t share blessings and griefs with siblings.

Last point, from someone who is moving rapidly out of his eighth decade of life. The reading from the deuterocanonical book of Sirach needs some background. The culture of the first century before Christ, and for many years after Christ, made it very likely that, like today, men would wait until they were established before marrying, so maybe a thirty-year-old man would, back then, have an arranged marriage with a teenage bride. Their children would have to look forward to caring for the old man when he got beyond his productive years, especially if his mind wandered into senility. That’s part of the commandment to honor our father and mother.

All of our Scriptures today encourage us, whatever our situation, to practice divinely-graced charity by deference to the members of our family.