The Godly Portrait Of Marriage, Pt. 4

“Motivated Marriages”

1 Corinthians 13

A funeral service was being held for a woman who had just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers were carrying the casket out of the chapel when they accidently hit the wall and it jarred the casket pretty hard. Then all of the sudden there was a faint groan coming from the casket. So the casket was opened and they found the woman was still alive. She lived for another 10 years, then dies. A ceremony was held again for her at the same chapel and at the end of the funeral the same pall bearers carry her out again and as they are walking the husband yells, “Watch out for the wall!”

Do American marriages really believe that love never fails? Is this verse out of the realm of reality in America? If American marriages end in divorce, does that mean that “love does fail”? How would you answer these 3 questions?

“Fail” = to fall off, drop away, lose

This is an interesting word because in classical Greek it is used to describe something that has fallen out of place. It also was used as a nautical expression for a shipwreck or a sailor falling overboard.

Doesn’t that explain 50% of marriages in America? Marriages fail love – love never fails marriages! When the husband has fallen out of his biblical role in marriage – love is thrown overboard in the darkest ocean, when the wife has fallen out of her biblical role in marriage – love is lost in the deepest ocean.

Sometimes a marriage needs a reality check! In every relationship there are 6 phases:

1. Infatuation.

Most begin here! When there is an increased heart rate, decrees in appetite, a felt excitement and a tendency to see only the good in the other person! You even doubt that you are worthy of such a “babe” or “hunk”!

Just to think about the other person is an emotional drain!

2. Intimidation.

Knees knock, you’re afraid to ask the other person out on a date or when asked out you say, “No” because your so nervous! Jill said “no” to me the first time I asked her out!

3. Jubilation.

The first year of marriage! Cloud 9 for 12 months! Even when everything goes wrong! Or the almost burns down – no big deal!

4. Realization.

Reality hits big! Both see the other person’s faults and weaknesses MAGNIFIED! Where there used to be a rapid heart beat – there’s barely a pulse! Women say “My knight in shining armor has rusted!” Men say, “The girl of my dreams has become a nightmare!

Folks, at this stage are where 1 out of 2 marriages begin to fail love! Marriages have a huge responsibility to get through this stage – or it’s a death certificate that will be written up!

5. Re-evaluation.

Adjustments have to be made or love is thrown overboard and lost to the deepest and darkest ocean - where not even Jauq Qustow can even find a single remnant of love.

It’s a period where commitment is dossal and compromise is dominant! A deep feeling of disconnect is overwhelming!

Men and women, it’s at this stage in marriage that this LifePoint is so real: Most relationships are affected by their past.

The influences from our past create memories, feelings and behaviors within us that contaminate the relationship and damage the marriage.

Strongholds, addictions and attitudes grip the marriage with guilt and grief and sometimes the pain is so strong that the only thing left is to run from the marriage and life!

Psalm 90: 8 “You spread out our sins before You – our secret sins, and you see them.” NLT

Psalm 44:21 “…For He knows the secrets of every heart.” NLT

Key areas to watch: distrust, insecurities, inadequacies, fears and judgmental and critical spirits!

This is where our next point comes alive for a distracted and damaged marriage…

6. Motivation.

How do we get from “Fruit of the Loom” back to “Victoria Secret?”

From “I feel suffocated” back to “You take my breath away!”

From “jumpstart” back to “turbocharged!”

From “living in a dorm” back to “living in a dream again!”

Sidney Greenberg writes, “More and more people are too impatient to make the adjustments that marriage inevitably entails. They cannot wait to learn the tolerance that marriage always demands. They don’t have time to achieve the understanding that never comes quickly. They have not been taught that while love may come suddenly, happiness is a distant goal to which there is no shortcut.”

And are we a nation that demands shortcut! Microwave the problems away!

Philippians 3:13 “…I am focusing all my energies on one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” NLT