Superglue #2

Superglue #2

[2] Last week we talked about how we all want to have a marriage that holds together like superglue. We talked about how the Lord instituted marriage to be a permanent relationship between a man and a woman where the two would actually become one.

[‘1’ and superglue demonstration.]

[3] The bonding agent of true loves shows itself in our commitment to our spouses. If we want our marriage to be bonded together like superglue, we need to be committed! Committed like in I Corinthians 13.

[Read I Corinthians 13:7-8a.]

Our marriages need commitment. But along with that commitment, we also need [4] good communication in our marriages for them to be healthy.

Now sometimes good communication is hard to come by between a man and a woman. Men and woman communicate so differently, don’t they?

When a man says, "Can I help with dinner?"

He really means, "Why isn’t it already on the table?"

When a woman says, “Come help me with dinner.”

She really means, “I want to tell you everything about my day.”

When a man says, "Uh-huh honey.” Or “Yes dear."

He really means absolutely nothing – it’s a conditioned response.

When a woman says, "Uh-huh honey.” Or “Yes dear."

She really means, “I definitely don’t believe what you just said.”

When a man says, “It would take too long to explain"

He really means, "I have no idea how it works."

A woman would never say, “It would take too long to explain.”

When a man says, "Take a break honey, you’re working too hard.”

He really means, "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

When a woman says, "Take a break honey, you’re working too hard.”

She really means, "Come and sit with me so we can talk."

Did you know that women use at least twice as many words a day as men do? Do you know why that is? Because they have to repeat everything they say! “I said, the toilet is overflowing again!” “Uh-huh honey; yes dear.”

The point is, men and women need to be able to communicate better if they want their marriages to be bonded together like superglue. And our communication, like everything in our lives, should be based on the Christ-life. [5]

[Read Ephesians 4:17-24.]

Because of our new lives in Christ we should act different. We act different because we think different. And because of this, we should communicate differently that the rest of the unsaved world.

And do you know what’s interesting? The principles of communication that can provide a healthy marriage relationship are principles that we often teach our kids when they’re just learning how to talk and communicate.

We teach our kids to be honest. We teach our kids to be open. And we teach our kids to be kind. What if we practiced what we preached in our marriage relationships? [6]

I. Honesty opens the door of communication

[Read Ephesians 4:25.]

Now here, Paul is addressing the church. He’s telling them that they should be honest at all times. It doesn’t even make sense to be dishonest with each other especially since they are all a part of the same body, the body of Christ.

You and your spouse, if both are believers, are also both united in the body of Christ. You are also both united to each other in marriage as one, even if one of you isn’t a believer. You are one! This is the greatest, strongest, most important partnership with another human being that you’re going to have. Being dishonest doesn’t do any good for that relationship. Honest is the only policy that works and it’s the only policy that Jesus will bless. Honesty opens the door of communication in our marriages.

I tell you what, honesty and integrity is under attack in the United States today. We’ve got so many excuses for honesty its pathetic!

Our society has two rules for honesty:

Be honest if the outcome of that honesty benefits the other person.

Be honest if the outcome of that honesty benefits yourself.

Other than that, the truth is up for grabs!

[‘Alleged’ kidnapper story.]

Many people would think truth is only truth if it’s legally verifiable.

Many people would think truth is only truth if it’s necessary to know.

Many people would think truth is interpretationally dependant.

But you know what, truth is truth, honesty is honesty and integrity is integrity. If we can’t be honest with our spouses then don’t expect the relationship to have a solid foundation. You are one together and need to be truthful with each other at all times!

So how does this truthfulness play itself out in the marriage relationship? Are there some rules to go by that explain how and when to be truthful? Well, the next two communication principles can help us with that.