Submission: Marriage Series

“Submission: Marriage”

1 Peter 3:1-7

Pastor John Bright

1 Peter3 “1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Communication between husbands and wives can be a sensitive issue:

A married couple were having an argument that kept going longer and longer.

The wife looked at her husband and said, “Tell me, Dear, do you want to win or do you want to be happy?”

The argument ended right there. 😊

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I was hoping to get you to laugh a little before we hear some things from God’s Word that can be hard to receive. This whole topic of submission is hard in today’s world. Our culture is one that advocates for the oppressed. If one person in a relationship is seen as suppressing the rights or freedoms of the other person, that one is labeled the oppressor. If we are not careful with this scripture, we could be seen as trying to side with the oppressor – the bad guy. That’s what the culture would tell us.

What was it like for women back in Peter’s day? What message was coming from the culture? Overall, in the Roman Empire, women had many rights. They could own a business, vote, hold some public offices, and own property. They even had more rights in marriage and divorce. They were also well educated.

(NIV Commentary, 1 Peter, McKnight, 1996, 182-3) Jewish culture, on the other hand, severely limited the rights of women. Peter is speaking to both groups in the house churches of Asia Minor.

Peter writes to wives, v. 1-2

“1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.”

There is an old saying among preachers: “A text without a context is pretext for a proof text.” Let me put it another way: A scripture text taken out of its context can be a disguise for deception!

For the third week in a row, I have me mention the context of these verses: 1 Peter 2:11-12 “11 Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul, 12 having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation.” This time it mentions very specifically who is watching – husbands who are not yet Followers of Jesus.

While I want to look at this scripture in light of its original message and bring that forward to make it relevant for us today, we should not ignore the past abuse of women who were told they had to submit to a husband who was cruel and unloving. Any woman who has suffered the abuse of a husband or boyfriend will hear a different message when I read these verses. It’s like what I told you about last week – if you are white, you hear verses about slaves and masters in a different way than those who are black. Same thing here, if you are woman who was never abused or a man, you hear verses about wives submitting to husband in a different way than a woman with a history of being abused. That’s just the way it is – no right or wrong way to hear it or experience it – just different. Can we agree?

Peter is trying to make a point about the witness of a wife’s behavior to a husband that is not a part of the church. He is encouraging them to witness without words. All of us have hoped that the way we live our lives will point others to the Jesus we follow. Right? Sure, we have! This may have been the woman’s only option because leaving the husband’s religion to go another way could be seen as a betrayal.