Speaking (And Hearing) The Truth In Love Series

Two summers ago Kathy and I headed to northern Wisconsin for a vacation week. One of our stops was a day of white water rafting on the Wolf River. It was late in the season and the water was low, so it wasn’t as fast and splashy as the springtime might be. But the low water brought another adventure. We kept getting hung up on rocks. And it was my job to jump overboard and pull us off. Sometimes I could see a rock beside us, just in the right place to stand on. But sometimes I’d just have to go over the side of the boat, not knowing how deep the water was between the rocks. It was an adventure that left me with quite a few scrapes and bruises on my legs.

Trying to teach the Bible is a lot like that. I like to try to plan out my sermons in advance, at least the main points. But often, as I get into a text I find that it is a lot deeper than I had realized at first. That’s an even better adventure. But sometimes my sermon schedules suffer for it.

I know we all work to speak the truth. And we all work to be loving to one another. But there are situations when that is easier and situations when that is harder. Last week I probably ended up trying to squeeze two sermons into one. We need to learn to speak the truth about our experiences with God even though faith sharing is sometimes hard. We need to learn to speak the truth with each other about our own sins and struggles in life, even though it’s scary to bring those things out into the light. And I had planned to move on to the next passage in Ephesians, but this is deeper than I realized. There is another situation when it is really hard to speak the truth in love that every church needs to think about.

So, please stand, again for the reading of our text, Ephesians 4:11-16.

11 The gifts he gave were that some would be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until all of us come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ. 14 We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people's trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. 15 But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body's growth in building itself up in love.

We love the relationships of our church. To use Paul’s language, those relationships are the ligaments of the body of Christ that bind our lives together, with each connection enriching our lives with love.

But sometimes those ligaments are strained or even torn as things happen that pull us apart. Misunderstandings arise. Even dear friends can let us down. And there is this gap between you. Your connection is strained. And it’s really hard to speak the truth in love.

In fact, Jewel and Cynthia ran into it this week as they dared to take their relationship one step deeper. Here’s what happened.

(Kathy Aram and Marty Linderborg did a short drama here in which Jewel takes the risk of pointing out how Cynthia has spoken improperly about another church member. It follows up on another drama the week before.)

Do you think it might have been hard for Jewel to raise this issue with Cynthia? Last week they went to a new level in their relationship. They had been two people who really didn’t even like each other. But they risked being open and honest and suddenly the relationship became real and nurturing for them. But already today, a new challenge came up, and Jewel took the risk of speaking out the truth. And it was hard for Cynthia to accept it at first, but she made it. And now their relationship has gone deeper, yet.

Speaking the truth like that is risky. But it helps us be real. The Bible calls us to do this, to exhort one another, to admonish one another.

Why does God call us to risk such things?

Well, for one thing, in this situation, Cynthia really needed to learn to be wiser in the way she speaks about other people. And Jewel helped her learn. Cynthia might have sat through 20 sermons on gossip or slander without it sinking in. But Jewel helped her face her problem in a moment. Was Jewel being a good friend?