Some Myths About Marriage Series

Some Myths About Dating, Marriage & Divorce III

6/4/00 Proverbs 3:1-11 Hebrews 13:1-8

For Christians, The date you set for your wedding, should not be based upon how much money you need to save for an elaborate wedding. It should not be based on how many more years of school you have left. It should not be based on having a secure financial future. The bible provides us with how to set the date. God assumes that the primary desire of a Christian couple is to be obedient in His eyes so that He can bless and prosper the relationship.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Notice it says in all you ways acknowledge Him. How many of you realize it includes being engaged. Don’t be wise in your own eyes, In other words, don’t try to con God or this other person. Notice what God promises when we do things his way. Health and nourishment.

How do you know when its time to marry. When you are willing to make a commitment to the other person to stand by his or her side and work together to face whatever obstacles come your way. There will never be a perfect time to get married in which every obstacle can be removed. How do you know what the date should be. It is found in 1 Cor 7:9 " But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

Your date should be based on how well are you controlling yourselves in keeping your relationship pure sexually in the eyes of God. It is ridiculous for you to plan to get married a year from now or two years from now, and know that you can barely control yourselves when you’re alone, or know that you intend to be in each other’s dorm room or apartment late at night throughout that one or two year period. If you are falling into this trap of being involved sexually with each other, but do not want to give up your dream wedding, it is better for you to get married in the pastor’s office or justice of the peace, and then have your large wedding party somewhere in the future.

If you’re not ready for marriage that’s okay, but the cost may be breaking off the relationship as part of picking up your cross in order to remain set apart for God’s use. Now if you’ve made a commitment not to be in sexually tempting situations, then you may hold on to the relationship as long as you want but know that it’s not going to be easy. There’s nothing in the bible about having to know somebody for six weeks, six months, or six years before marrying. Isaac saw Rebekkah, they were married that night and stayed married over 40 years before he died.

Too many of us are setting aside the word of God and God’s blessings on our relationships merely because of convenience, personal pleasure, or wanting to impress others more than we want to please God. A ring on your finger does not do the same thing as a marriage license on your wall. That ring may have been used on several different fingers. You are a child of God and you need not settle for anything less than the best for your life. It’s important to let Jesus be the Lord of your dating and engagement period. Don’t let dating or being engaged cause you to miss out on the good things God has in store for your life.

Now let’s look at some myths about marriage. The first myth is that “we will always be in love with each other.” Now romantic love feels good. You can’t wait to see each other. You can’t wait to talk to each other. You want to be together every moment. Although the falling in love phase feels real good, it is not real love. It is not real love enduring love because it is not a conscious choice or act of the will. We do not make it happen. It happens at inopportune time, with unlikely people. It takes almost no work on our part. It’s like a bird building a nest. We do things by instinct. We are not so much as interested in the development of the other person as we are ending our own loneliness. Falling in love is like an addiction. It’s an emotional high, and you will come down from it.