Singleness Is Not Loneliness

A single person is that person who is separate, unique, whole and complete. The Bible did not tell us that there is something wrong with being single. Sometimes, men make it look as if being single is a curse! But single hood can be, and as a matter of fact, a blessing.

“But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord-how he may please the Lord.” 1 Cor. 7:32.

Is the above reference a curse?

There are advantages in being single. Among others, single persons can attend to the things of God without distractions. Loneliness is not peculiar to singles alone. It has to do with relationship. A person can be married and still be lonely; and another is single but not lonely. People become lonely when they’re out of relationship.

WHAT ARE THE PROBLEMS SINGLES ENCOUNTER?

PRESSURE

The pressure from peer groups, parents and society. Some people come under pressure just because their friends are getting married and no one have said ‘hello’ to them. The society also tends to accord more respect to those who are married. In our society, it’s more honourable to answer ‘Mrs.’ than ‘Miss’. Parents can also mount pressure. Some parents say things like, ‘are there no men in the world who can marry you?’ or ‘are you not beautiful or educated enough to get a husband or wife?’ or ‘I want to be alive to carry your babies on my back just like I carried you on my back’.

Even the church sometimes does not help matters; Marriage is seen as promotion, so those that are not married can’t help but say, ‘Lord, when would my turn come?’

These are pressures mounted daily on those who are single. You must know how to handle them or you feel rejected, get into self pity or develop low self esteem. Or you could even get depressed or come under undue anxiety and panic. Such pressures could even push you into taking decisions that will affect you negatively. You may even think you are a second class citizen, but you’re not.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

RELAX! Don’t allow your desires to get out of hand. Set your mind on things above. Don’t be pre-occupied with the thoughts of marriage or sex. Set your mind on spiritual things. Occupy for Jesus. God gave Adam work to do in the garden of Eden before giving him a wife. If you’re not busy, you don’t even need a wife because a wife is supposed to be an helper to you. Develop your spirit man. Endeavour to know what God is saying to you concerning marriage and other aspects of your life. Develop yourself worth. Forgive if anyone has hurt you. We loose our effectiveness in the battles of life when we refuse to forgive. Nobody should sympathize with you because you’re not married. If somebody comes around and he/she is the right person, then go ahead and get married. And if not, you’re still unique, whole and complete. At the right time, you too shall be married.