Singleness--Does God Care If I Ever Get Married?

Singleness¡ªDoes God Care if I Ever Marry?

With Concepts from God¡¯s Call to the Single Adult by Michael Cavanaugh

ILL¡ªbeing the last one picked in PE

ILL¡ªbeing half an Oreo, the one without the cream

Wrong Views

I¡¯m only half a person

All my problems stem from being single

The perfect person could fix them

My life is in limbo¡ªI can¡¯t make any permanent plans until I get married

Singleness is a curse; it¡¯s a sign of my lack of worth

Principles Regarding Marriage

1. I am a complete person in Christ

If I don¡¯t see myself as complete in Christ now, marriage won¡¯t fix it

I Cor. 7:24, 27 in the Amplified Version

So, brethren, in whatever station or state or condition of life each one was when he was called, let him continue there, with and close to God. ¡­Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.

Prov. 18:22¡ªhe who finds a wife finds a good thing

To ¡°find¡± here ¡Ù¡±to search for¡±

To ¡°find¡± = ¡°to discover along the way¡±

2. Marriage is not God¡¯s Ultimate Will for my Life

His ultimate goal is that I be conformed to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29)

He will bring whatever He has to into my life in order to make that happen; so, if He knows singleness will best do that, He wants me to be single; if He knows marriage will best do that, I will get married

In fact, everything in my life ought to be a refiner¡¯s fire to burn away anything that¡¯s not like Jesus.

3. I am Single by Choice

Anyone can get married

The fact that I¡¯m currently not married is because I have standards, things I will not do, people I will not associate with; commitments I won¡¯t make

I am actually single because of Christ¡ªHe has raised me to a higher standard

4. My Singleness is a Gift from God for Service

I Cor. 7:32-35¡ªBut I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly, and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

¡°Undistracted Devotion¡± ILL¡ªa great waiter

¡°Just by its nature, single living is a self-centered lifestyle and, because of that, carries with it the tendency for the single person to become self-involved and depressed. It takes special effort, therefore, for the single person to look beyond himself or herself to others. But it is a necessary thing to do and, the Scriptures say, intrinsic to living a fulfilled life.¡±

Supporting Bible Study

Weddings

Accompanied by feasts

For Leah and Jacob¡ªGen. 29

For Esther and the king¡ªEsth. 2

Accompanied by witnesses

Ruth & Boaz¡ªRuth 4

Parental Consent was required in Mosaic law¡ªEx. 22:17

Presents were given to parents in order to gain their favor

For Isaac to get Rebekah¡ªGen. 24

For David to get Michal¡ª1 Samuel 18

Arranged by parents

Hagar for Ishmael¡ªGen. 21:21

Abraham for Isaac¡ªGen. 24

Children asked parent to find a mate for them

Samson¡ªJudges 14:2

Bride was kidnapped¡ªJudges 21

Daughter given as a reward for valor¡ªJudges 1; 1 Sam 17 & 18

Celibacy

Deplored

Judges 11:38¡ªJephthah¡¯s daughter mourned not because she was going to die, but that she would never marry

Isa 4:1¡ªSeven women to one man: ¡°We¡¯ll provide for ourselves, just let us be called by your name¡ªtake away our disgrace.¡±

Jer. 7:34; 16:9; 25:10¡ªGod¡¯s judgment is associated with ¡°taking away the sound of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom;¡± then in 33:10-11 his renewed blessing is found in the promise of restoring ¡°the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom¡± once again.

In Relation to Serving God

Deut. 13: 6-10¡ªIf your spouse tries to entice you into idolatry, you are to reject them and be the first to stone them.

Luke 14:26¡ªBeing willing to leave one¡¯s family, even a spouse behind, in pursuit of Jesus is a requirement for being his disciple

Values of Marriage

Prov. 12:4¡ªA wife of noble character is her husband¡¯s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

Prov. 18:22¡ªHe who finds a wife finds what is good, and receives favor from the Lord.