Singleness¡ªDoes God Care if I Ever Marry?
With Concepts from God¡¯s Call to the Single Adult by Michael Cavanaugh
ILL¡ªbeing the last one picked in PE
ILL¡ªbeing half an Oreo, the one without the cream
Wrong Views
I¡¯m only half a person
All my problems stem from being single
The perfect person could fix them
My life is in limbo¡ªI can¡¯t make any permanent plans until I get married
Singleness is a curse; it¡¯s a sign of my lack of worth
Principles Regarding Marriage
1. I am a complete person in Christ
If I don¡¯t see myself as complete in Christ now, marriage won¡¯t fix it
I Cor. 7:24, 27 in the Amplified Version
So, brethren, in whatever station or state or condition of life each one was when he was called, let him continue there, with and close to God. ¡Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
Prov. 18:22¡ªhe who finds a wife finds a good thing
To ¡°find¡± here ¡Ù¡±to search for¡±
To ¡°find¡± = ¡°to discover along the way¡±
2. Marriage is not God¡¯s Ultimate Will for my Life
His ultimate goal is that I be conformed to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29)
He will bring whatever He has to into my life in order to make that happen; so, if He knows singleness will best do that, He wants me to be single; if He knows marriage will best do that, I will get married
In fact, everything in my life ought to be a refiner¡¯s fire to burn away anything that¡¯s not like Jesus.
3. I am Single by Choice
Anyone can get married
The fact that I¡¯m currently not married is because I have standards, things I will not do, people I will not associate with; commitments I won¡¯t make
I am actually single because of Christ¡ªHe has raised me to a higher standard
4. My Singleness is a Gift from God for Service
I Cor. 7:32-35¡ªBut I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly, and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
¡°Undistracted Devotion¡± ILL¡ªa great waiter
¡°Just by its nature, single living is a self-centered lifestyle and, because of that, carries with it the tendency for the single person to become self-involved and depressed. It takes special effort, therefore, for the single person to look beyond himself or herself to others. But it is a necessary thing to do and, the Scriptures say, intrinsic to living a fulfilled life.¡±
Supporting Bible Study
Weddings
Accompanied by feasts
For Leah and Jacob¡ªGen. 29
For Esther and the king¡ªEsth. 2
Accompanied by witnesses
Ruth & Boaz¡ªRuth 4
Parental Consent was required in Mosaic law¡ªEx. 22:17
Presents were given to parents in order to gain their favor
For Isaac to get Rebekah¡ªGen. 24
For David to get Michal¡ª1 Samuel 18
Arranged by parents
Hagar for Ishmael¡ªGen. 21:21
Abraham for Isaac¡ªGen. 24
Children asked parent to find a mate for them
Samson¡ªJudges 14:2
Bride was kidnapped¡ªJudges 21
Daughter given as a reward for valor¡ªJudges 1; 1 Sam 17 & 18
Celibacy
Deplored
Judges 11:38¡ªJephthah¡¯s daughter mourned not because she was going to die, but that she would never marry
Isa 4:1¡ªSeven women to one man: ¡°We¡¯ll provide for ourselves, just let us be called by your name¡ªtake away our disgrace.¡±
Jer. 7:34; 16:9; 25:10¡ªGod¡¯s judgment is associated with ¡°taking away the sound of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom;¡± then in 33:10-11 his renewed blessing is found in the promise of restoring ¡°the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom¡± once again.
In Relation to Serving God
Deut. 13: 6-10¡ªIf your spouse tries to entice you into idolatry, you are to reject them and be the first to stone them.
Luke 14:26¡ªBeing willing to leave one¡¯s family, even a spouse behind, in pursuit of Jesus is a requirement for being his disciple
Values of Marriage
Prov. 12:4¡ªA wife of noble character is her husband¡¯s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
Prov. 18:22¡ªHe who finds a wife finds what is good, and receives favor from the Lord.
Prov. 19:14¡ªHouses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Prov. 21:9¡ªBetter to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
