Sex In The City - Or - Sex In The Scriptures Series

INTRODUCTION

A little boy ran into the living room where his father was reading. “Dad, where did I come from?” The boy’s mother cleared her throat and excused herself to let the father answer this long-feared question. Father cleared his throat and went through a long, careful explanation of how children are born. When he was finally through, his son commented, “That’s OK dad; but my pal Joe down the street says he comes from Melbourne and I just wanted to know where I came from.”

In recent decades societies attitudes towards sex have been flipped upside down. We live in a culture saturated with sex. Sex is THE god and THE idol of our times. In many cases sex has replaced God as the object of worship – it’s become the ultimate goal in life for some. Yet in the church we hardly ever talk about it. Well we’re going to address that imbalance today. Today I want us to take a look at a few hot and taboo topics. In the process we should develop what will be a Christian and biblical perspective on sexual issues.

1. SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE

The first topic off the rank is sex outside of marriage. Firstly, sex before marriage.

a) Sex before marriage

Is it OK for a Christian to engage in sexual relationships before marriage? First Thessalonians 4 gives us some direction here.

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8)

The Christian writer Josh McDowell tells the story of a non-Christian guy he spoke to once. This guy said, “I’ve had a real free-love lifestyle – casual relationships, meaningful relationships, plenty of sex. Then herpes came on to the scene. It got my attention, but it didn’t change my lifestyle because it’s not fatal. You can never get rid ofd it, but it’s not fatal. Then AIDS came onto the scene, and I decided that I had to change my lifestyle. So I found a woman I cared about, fell in love, got married, and she gave me herpes!”

Why does God say no to pre-marital sex? Because God doesn’t want anything like that to happen to us. He doesn’t want us to have to face the heartache of an unwanted pregnancy; he doesn’t want us to face the pressure of acceptance based only on our performance in bed; he doesn’t want us to face the guilt and shame of telling any future partners about our past sexual exploits – particularly any potential marriage partners. God loves us and he says, “save sex for marriage” because he wants the best for us.

There are three very good reasons why God says no to premarital sex. The physical reasons are obvious – serious disease and pregnancy. Not so obvious are the spiritual and emotional reasons.

Spiritually we risk breaking fellowship with our heavenly Father, we risk his judgment and we risk our Christian witness. God wants to protect us from that. And if we choose to follow him we know that the Lord will “withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11). We also know from Psalm 34 that “his eyes are on the righteous and his ears are open to their cry.”

Emotionally we risk confusing sex with love, we risk being used and suffering resentment and depression, we risk the intense emotions of breaking off a relationship where sex is involved. God wants to protect us from all that. On the other hand by waiting, we develop more Godly attributes such as self-control and the ability to focus more on the true needs of the other person.

Christian singles “God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.” Girls, if your boyfriend wants you to try out his new water-bed, tell him you don’t swim. Guys, if your girl says sex will make you a man, tell her your dog has sex and he’s not a man.

b) Adultery

What about those who are married? Well Jesus taught clearly on the issue of adultery.

"You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” (Matthew 5:27-30)