Sermons on Funny:

Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven But Nobody Wants To Die

Contributed by Dan Cale on Oct 4, 2004

This sermon investigates the idea of carrying a cross if we are to follow Jesus. Also the hope of eternal life.

Everybody Wants to Go To Heaven But Nobody Wants to Die Luke 9:18-27 How many of you here this morning want to go to heaven? How many of you are enamored with the idea of dying. The truth is that heaven is a wonderful place ¡V people are just dying to get in. Tell me why you want to go to ...read more

Scripture: Luke 9:18-27

Denomination: *other

A Total Life Makeover

Contributed by Richard Mcnair on Nov 4, 2004

The Total Body Makeover” TV show -- New nose, new facelift, new tummy, new teeth, new cheeks, new chin ... No man can change who you really are inside, only God can do that. He gives us a ... A Total Life Makeover

News commentator Paul Harvey tells about the time the Italian sailing team went to Australia to participate in the America’s Cup race. Gucci, the famous Italian designer, had outfitted them with all the latest sportswear fashions before they left for Australia. After they arrived, the men had some ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 3:1-25

Denomination: Baptist

Rubbish

Contributed by Joel Ferren on Jan 21, 2002

Ridding our lives of rubbish to make room for spirittual priorities.

Rubbish 3/3/97 Candidate Tape 1/20/02 PM As the lonely prisoner sat quietly, he paused for reflection as he added another sentence to the letter he was writing to his dear friends. He thought back on his childhood and remembered all the dreams he once had. In fact he had accomplished all that ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 3:4-11

Denomination: Church Of God

Boasting

Contributed by Ewen Huffman on Nov 18, 2002

3 things from James that help us avoid boasting: 1) Wisdom 2) humility 3) Right ambition

Boasting Jas 3:13-18, 4:13 KAC CU 18/11/02 The dominant theme of these passages is, really, BOASTING - Jas, no doubt, found it necessary to address as they were just like us! o A) Human: competition is part of the human nature, fabric of life § Not necc bad. But is corrupted by our ‘fallen ...read more

Scripture: James 3:13-18, James 4:13-16

Denomination: Baptist

Funeral For A Stillborn Baby

Contributed by Jane White on Dec 6, 2002

Funeral sermon and liturgy suggestions for a full term stillborn boy.

{All liturgical material used was from the United Methodist Book of Worship service for a stillborn child, and service for the loss of a pregnancy. I scoured the internet and other resources looking for help. The UM BOW was by far the best resource. This baby boy was born dead at term. The ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, Matthew 11:25-30

Denomination: Methodist

We Can Count On God

Contributed by Christian Cheong on Aug 21, 2005

We can put our hope and trust in God, because both His Word and His plan (His will) are unchanging and dependable.

The world is changing, and more rapidly now then before. • We find ourselves running with the times, and keeping up with the trends and advancements • In computer science, half of what you learn today will be obsolete in less than 5 years. • In Singapore, if you are in the map-making business – ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 33:1-22

Denomination: Independent/Bible

What Is Truth

Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Mar 24, 2005

If Jesus is the answer - what effect will that have on your life

24-03-05 NR Good Friday What is Truth(Jn 18:33-40 and 19:19) I would like to meditate this afternoon on Pilate’s words in John 18:38: What is truth? And perhaps answer the question. Context: When Pontius Pilate interrogated Jesus before his crucifixion, Jesus proclaimed that "Everyone on the ...read more

Denomination: Anglican

The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe

Contributed by Benjamin Doolittle on Mar 29, 2002

Art thou He that is coming? A Sermon for Advent - using the popular series "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" as a springboard into advent.

The Restaurant At the End of the Universe - What was the question again? Isaiah 35:1-10 Matthew 11:2-11 The Rev. Dr. Benjamin R. Doolittle East Pearl St. Methodist Church - December 16th, 2001 - Advent#3 Loving, Wonderful God, Your prophet proclaimed that the dry land shall be made glad; our ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 11:2-11

Denomination: Methodist

Installation Service

Contributed by William Sessums, Jr. on Sep 17, 2003

A sermon for a friend’s installation service at a new congregation using a text that was one of his favorites.

Installation Service September 14, 2003 Ephesians 6:19-20 Introduction and remarks Eph 6:19-20 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 6:19-20

Denomination: Church Of God

Temptation

Contributed by Mark D. Stetler on Mar 23, 2003

I. A peek at the past -----II. Get a picture of the present ---------III. A fight in the future

Temptation I Corinthians 10:1-13 As an introduction to my message this morning I want to get you thinking in a certain direction! Consider with me this morning, these questions related to sexual purity out of Kent Hughes’ book “Liberating Ministry from the Success Syndrome:” 1. Are we being ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 10:1-13

Denomination: Church Of God

What To Pray For Your Leaders

Contributed by Vance Elzinga on Sep 11, 2002

A call for church members to commit themselves to pray for the joy of their leaders.

Pray for the Joy of Your Leaders 20000910a - Based on Galatians 6.9 SCORRE • Every one of us can uplift our teachers and leaders by praying for the joys of teaching to be theirs… (what joys?…) Opening Weariness is the problem. (text) We become weary in well-doing… • fruit takes a while • lack ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:9

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Love And Insanity

Contributed by John Nadasi on Oct 3, 2002

This is a sermon with a strong call to stewardship as a response to God’s eternal love. This includes prayer, presence, gifts, and service as well as how we live our lives.

Paonia United Methodist Church October 9, 2002 Rev. John Nadasi Matthew 21:33-46 The parallels are clear. The Pharisees knew he was talking about them. They had been given a vineyard to work in. Overtime, they claimed the vineyard as their own, No longer open to the outsider, but instead, a ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 21:33-46

Denomination: Methodist

The Hopelessness Of The Hell-Bound Hypocrite

Contributed by Aaron Brown on Sep 27, 2001

A searching, satire on the prevalent hypocrisy in the church: with humorous reflections on the preacher, prayer, choir, deacons, and ushers.

**** Disclaimer **** This sermon’s intent is to highlight hypocrisy in all levels of the church where the enemy is trying to deceive and infiltrate. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO OFFEND OR BE JUDGEMENTAL. I love all people and my heart yearns that all would be saved. He that winneth souls is wise (Prov. ...read more

Scripture: Job 27:8

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Ultimate Easter Egg

Contributed by David Dewitt on Aug 20, 2002

The empty tomb of Jesus is God’s ultimate Easter egg!

The Ultimate Easter Egg Luke 24:1-12 March 31, 2002: Easter morning Introduction Recently, an article was published that revealed the secrets of hidden “surprises” in computer software and video games. Programmers add these surprises to give the programs an added appeal. Some of the examples were ...read more

Scripture: Luke 24:1-12

Denomination: Church Of God

Declaration Of Dependence

Contributed by Joel W. Lohr on Nov 3, 2001

Learning to seek first the Kingdom of God and trusting God to meet our needs as he has promised.

A young woman brought her fiancee to meet her parents. After dinner, her father asked the young man into his study for a chat. "So, what are your plans?" he began. "I’m a theology scholar," the young man replied. "Admirable!" the father said, "But what will you do to provide a nice home for ...read more

Scripture: Luke 12:22-31

Denomination: Baptist