Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Wedding

Contributed by Craig Smee on Nov 27, 2005

A complete wedding service

Let us all remain standing as we pray: Father God, our most gracious heavenly father, we thank You for making us in your image. For when you made us in your image you also gave us the very essence of who you are – love. This afternoon we shout praises to the you our LORD. On this special occasion ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 2:21

Denomination: Christian Church

Gluttony Series

Contributed by Joseph Rodgers on Nov 28, 2005

This is the sixth message in series on the seven deadly sins.

Virus – Hidden Infections of the Spiritual Life Gluttony Funny: A hiker was charged w/ eating an endangered species while tracking the woods of California. After hearing the man had eaten a condor, the judge quickly passed a harsh sentence of 10 years behind bars. The man pleaded w/ the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 23:1-3

Denomination: Baptist

An Accepting Christian Series

Contributed by Jason Pettibone on Dec 3, 2005

the importance of buildng bridges over the divides that separate us

Triple AAA Church and Christian. I want to speak to about being an Accepting Christian! Prayer - Bridges and walls are both necessary and both serve very different purposes. Walls divide. Bridges unite! In 1964, our family lived on Staten Island, NY. It was an exciting time for that borough ...read more

Scripture: John 4:1-26

Denomination: Assembly Of God

A Portrait Of The Blood - Communion - Lord's Supper

Contributed by Jerry Shirley on Jul 14, 2005

A "stand alone" message but also good for communion. See also "A Portrait of The Bread". Link included to both sermons in Formatted Text, w/ Handouts and Powerpoint Presentations and Templates.

A Portrait of The Blood Leviticus 17:11 [Hundreds of free sermons and Powerpoints at website...link at bottom!] Without blood there cannot be life in the physical body. That is just as true in the Bible. Blood flows through the Bible just as it does through our veins. The blood of Christ keeps ...read more

Scripture: Leviticus 17:11, 1 Peter 1:15-25

Denomination: Baptist

These Necessary Things - Life Change Series

Contributed by Jerry Shirley on Jul 20, 2005

Salvation...Cause and Effect...The chicken and the egg. This is about how we are saved and how we should live as a result of being saved. Link included to formatted text, Powerpoint, and handout.

These Necessary Things Acts 15:28 In our last message from ch. 15 it was settled once and for all by Christ’s disciples in council: salvation is by grace alone, thru faith alone, in Christ alone…plus nothing, minus nothing…and good works have no part in our receiving of salvation. v. 11 Only 1 ...read more

Scripture: Acts 15:28

Denomination: Baptist

Birthmarks Of A Believer (B) Series

Contributed by Keith Foskey on Jul 22, 2005

Series inspired by “What every Christian Ought to Know” by Adrian Rogers and “Saved without a Doubt” by John Macarthur

Sermon Series: “Blessed Assurance” Sermon #3: “Birthmarks of a Believer (B)” Text: I John 5:13 INTRODUCTION: Welcome to week 3 of a 5 week study on how to be assured of our salvation. We have learned so far that true salvation lies in our being ‘born again’ by God’s Grace through faith in Jesus ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 5:13

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

It's A Steal, But Not A Bargain Series

Contributed by Dan Jackson on Jul 22, 2005

The 8th commandment forces us to look at our attitude towards possessions and our accountabilty to God

“IT’S A STEAL, BUT NOT A BARGAIN! “ (Exodus 20:15) We visited the Norman Rockwell Museum in Philadelphia and nostalgia gripped us as we remembered those great covers on The Saturday Evening Post. One of my favorites pictured an encounter in a butcher shop. A woman shopper and a butcher faced each ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 20:15

He Still Can & He Still Will!

Contributed by Bruce Ball on Jul 28, 2005

We rely on ourselves for everything - to the exclusion of God. It shocks us when we come to the reality that God not only is still "able" to help us .... but that He still "wants" to help us!

Now, first let me tell you that I used to be a very faithful viewer to the original Mickey Mouse Club. I used to watch it every day. I knew all of them by name and I really enjoyed that program. Of course, I was only about 8 years old at the time, too. Have you ever heard the expression, ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 3:20

Denomination: *other

The Procrastinating Governor Series

Contributed by Jerry Shirley on Feb 22, 2006

Paul’s powerful 3 point outline he preached to Felix was inspired of God for us today as well. God is knocking...and we must answer! Link included to formatted text, handout, and PowerPoint Presentation.

The Procrastinating Governor Acts 24:24-26 Be honest now, how many have a problem w/ procrastination? Me too, and I’m gonna work on that starting tomorrow [hey, that’s the same day my new exercise regimen begins!] The governor of our state is under scrutiny as he seems to be scrambling to get ...read more

Scripture: Acts 24:24-26

Denomination: Baptist

Committed To The Son

Contributed by Steve Shepherd on Feb 25, 2006

1- Committed to His Position 2- Committed to His Life

INTRO. – ILL.- Sometime ago a woman who had just returned from a trip to Mexico called the Los Angeles police to report that a rattlesnake was loose in her overnight bag. Police went to investigate. They approached the bag, which the woman had heaved out of a window onto the sidewalk. ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 8:6

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

0404 Lent Iv: God's Dysfunctional Family Series

Contributed by Mark Woolsey on Mar 27, 2006

The "family values" exampled by God’s "dysfunctional family" when Abraham cast out Hagar & Ishmael.

Sermon: God’s Dysfunctional Family Text: Gal 4:21-31 Occasion: Lent IV Who: Mark Woolsey Where: Arbor House When: Sunday, Mar 26, 2006 Audio link: http://providencerec.com/Sound%20Files/Srmn060326WoolseyGal4;21-31LentIVGodsDysfunctionalFamily.mp3 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 4:21-31

Denomination: Episcopal/Anglican

Bringing Out The Dead Series

Contributed by Darryl Klassen on Mar 28, 2006

This is the 7th of 7 signs where John shows his readers who Jesus was in acted parables. This sign is the climax revealing that Jesus is the "LIFE".

BRINGING OUT THE DEAD The Monty Python troupe touched on a very real issue of the Middle Ages in their movie about the quest for the Holy Grail: Death! So many people were dying 800 years ago at so fast a rate that there was no time to bury them. Carts were brought around to ...read more

Scripture: John 11:1-44

Denomination: Mennonite

In Search Of Jesus Series

Contributed by Darryl Klassen on Apr 20, 2006

This is an Easter sermon that concludes a series exploring who Jesus is according to the Gospel of John. Phil. 3 plays a major role in this sermon as well.

IN SEARCH OF JESUS “For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures…” (1 Co. 15:3-4). That is the good news of the Gospel of Jesus, in the ...read more

Scripture: John 20:1-18

Denomination: Mennonite

You Are Not Just A Number To The Lord

Contributed by Peter Schmidt on May 15, 2006

The Story of Philip ministering to the Ethiopian eunuch teaches us the value God places on each human soul. The world might not treat us as anything special, but we are precious to the Lord.

Easter 5 Acts 8:26-40 4**-2*-85*5 is a very important number to me. Can you guess what significance there is in those numbers? It’s not a phone number…it’s what Uncle Sam calls me. You see, there are a lot of Peter Schmidts living in the US, and so when I fill out official documents like tax forms ...read more

Scripture: Acts 8:26-40

Denomination: Lutheran

Love Is Patient Series

Contributed by Kevin Cummins on Apr 20, 2005

One of the most difficult areas to show patience in is our relationships with others. But that is exactly what God’s Word calls us to have in our relationships. Because love is patient.

“Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see why? With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn’t want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4

Denomination: Church Of God