Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Stay In The House

Contributed by Jehnon Johnson on Oct 18, 2000

One of the most discouraging phrases you can say to a child is ìstay in the houseî.

One of the most discouraging phrases you can say to a child is ìstay in the houseî. Most children would agree that they would rather get a whipping instead of being told to ìstay in the houseî. I remember getting in trouble in school and praying that I would get whipped. For I knew that if I were ...read more

Scripture: Luke 15:11-23

Harmony

Contributed by Jerry Flury on Sep 18, 2006

If the church is going to have an impact on the world, it must demonstrate to the world the reality of its faith. It can only do that when Christian virtues are harmoniously lived out daily by the members of the Body of Christ.

Disclaimer: Source material for this sermon has been gleaned from many different sources. I have attempted to acknowledge these sources whenever possible. Please feel free to use this message as God’s Holy Spirit directs your heart. HARMONY 2 Corinthians 13:11 “Finally, brethren, farewell. ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 3:8

Denomination: Baptist

This Is My Son The Chosen One

Contributed by William Baeta on Mar 3, 2007

“Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Saviour from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body” Phil. 3:

Theme: This is My Son, the Chosen One Text: Gen. 15:1-12, 17-18; Phil. 3:17-21, 4:1; Lk. 13:31-35 The first thing we usually know about a person is his or her name. We all know the significance of names in our culture and everyone here automatically receives a name that depicts the day on which ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 3:17-21

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Be Holy

Contributed by R. David Reynolds on Jun 4, 2005

God calls all His children to a life of holy living by His grace, and this call is not optional but imperative. This sermon was originally prepared as my farewell message to the people of Decatur Central United Methodist Church.

Be Holy --I Peter 1:13-16 Leviticus 20:6-9 Leviticus 20:6 - 9 (NRSV), “If any turn to mediums and wizards, prostituting themselves to them, I will set my face against them, and will cut them off from the people. 7Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy; for I am the LORD your God. 8Keep my ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 1:13-16

Denomination: Methodist

Calling On Others

Contributed by Tim Zingale on Jun 30, 2004

A sermon for the 5th Sunday after pentecost

5th Sunday after Pentecost Proper 9 Luke 10:1-11, 16-20 "Calling on Others" "After this the Lord appointed seventy others, and sent them on ahead of him, two by two, into every town and place where he himself was about to come. And he said to them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers ...read more

Scripture: Luke 10:1-20

Denomination: Lutheran

When Believers Sin, Do They Have To Be Saved All Over Again? Series

Contributed by Mike Fogerson on Sep 12, 2005

Once we’ve been set free from sin’s prison we’re eternally pardoned.

When Believers Sin, Do They Have to be Saved All Over Again? Gal. 3:22July 17, 2005 FBC, Chester Mike Fogerson, Pastor Introduction: A In the early 1930’s the US had a problem. Crime had run amok. The prohibition of alcohol in the 1920’s had given rise to pervasive organized crime. A ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 3:22

Denomination: Baptist

We Are Saved To Serve Series

Contributed by Christian Cheong on Nov 5, 2004

Learn from the servanthood of Christ. (1) choose service over self-interest, and (2) think like a servant.

A request was made by the mother, for her sons James and John to sit with Jesus in His Kingdom. Jesus was born for a purpose – to serve a need; to serve God’s purpose · He was born a SERVANT! From the day He was born until the day He died, He was serving SOMEONE · He was tasked by Someone to ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 20:20-28

Denomination: Independent/Bible

What Will Be Beyond This Life?

Contributed by Dennis Selfridge on Sep 20, 2004

Heaven or Hell are the only choices

What will be beyond this life? MT. 25:32-34, 41, 46 When we look at life here we might wonder is this all there is. The bible is very clear in letting us know that this not the end of our lives but there is an after life. In the very beginning God created Adam and Eve to live forever for they were ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 25:32-46

Denomination: Wesleyan

What Jesus Refuses To Do

Contributed by Dennis Selfridge on Feb 4, 2006

Jesus wants to do for us and is limited if we block Him.

What Jesus Refuses to Do Matthew 12:14-21 Then the Pharisees called a meeting and discussed plans for killing Jesus. 15 But Jesus knew what they were planning. He left that area, and many people followed him. He healed all the sick among them, 16 but he warned ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 12:14-21

Denomination: Wesleyan

What Happens When You Come To Church Series

Contributed by Tony Mccreery on Dec 6, 2003

The Third and final sermon in a series on church.

THE WHO, WHAT, AND WHY’S OF GOING TO CHURCH “WHAT” HAPPENS WHEN YOU COME TO CHURCH LUKE 15:11-31 Have you ever found yourself in God’s lost and found box? You see this boy found himself in the father’s lost and found box. He stepped out of his father’s protection, and ended up lost. He needed ...read more

Scripture: Luke 15:11-31

Denomination: Baptist

Which Part Of "All” Don't You Understand? Series

Contributed by Pat Cook on Jun 13, 2003

If His followers are called to make disciples of "all" people, who is that? A topical sermon showing who Jesus spent time with.

Matthew 28:16-20 – Which Part of “All” Don’t You Understand? A pastor in a drought-stricken part of the south called his people to begin praying for rain. In fact he asked each member of the church to join in a prayer vigil that would continue day and night until God granted their request. ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 28:16-20

Denomination: Baptist

Pursuing Holiness Series

Contributed by Tom Shepard on Aug 15, 2007

This is the second sermon in this series based on Jerry Bridges book, "The Pursuit Of Holiness".

Pursuing Holiness – Cleaning Up Every Christian is to pursue holiness. Every Christian is called to live a holy life. Every Christian is to strive to stay away from sin. Holiness is not an option. The Bible says: “He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 1:15-16

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Getting Cleaned Up For The New Year

Contributed by Olorunnisola Oni on Dec 30, 2012

When we are going to a new and important place, we get cleaned up and put on new or clean attire. The year 2013 is new and I am sure we are all excited and look forward to not only seeing it but also entering and going through it successfully. What and ho

Joshua 3: 1 Early in the morning Joshua and all the Israelites set out from Shittim and went to the Jordan, where they camped before crossing over. 2 After three days the officers went throughout the camp,3 giving orders to the people: "When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and ...read more

Scripture: Joshua 3:1-6

Denomination: Pentecostal

Part 2 Of Peter’s 2nd Sermon Series

Contributed by James Lee on Nov 4, 2014

Dealing with a number of issues at EBC led me to a series by Pastor Jerry Shirley which God has graciously allowed me to revise and use to speak to our congregation.

Acts 3:11-21 Last week we looked at the first part of Peter’s sermon and if you remember he told the people that they had desired a murdered, they had denied the Lord and they must decide to repent! In the second part of his sermon Peter makes 2 promises, if they will repent: Look at verses ...read more

Scripture: Acts 3:11-21

Denomination: Baptist

Pry Open The Parable Of The Pearl

Contributed by Daniel Habben on Aug 23, 2011

Pry Open the Parable of the Pearl and find... 1) Jesus' priceless treasure; and 2) Jesus, priceless Treasure

Have you seen the TV show Storage War$? This program features the sale of storage lockers seized for non-payment of rental fees. The auctions are fast-paced and competitive though the buyers rarely know exactly what they’ll end up carting away should they land the winning bid. The only ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 13:44-46

Denomination: Lutheran