Sermons on Crude Joking:

What Do You Want?

Contributed by Scott Carmer on Oct 30, 2006

When Bartimaeus received his sight from Jesus, he wanted nothing more than to see Christ, love Christ, and follow Christ.

What Do You Want? Mark 10:46-52 October 29, 2006 If you could have anything on earth, what would it be? What do you want most of all. What is your dream? What would make you incredibly happy? Do you know what I want? When I retire, I want a green metal-flake “Champion Elite” Bass boat with a ...read more

Scripture: Mark 10:46-52

Denomination: Methodist

Living A Lifestyle Of Joy

Contributed by Brian La Croix on Aug 23, 2003

A message calling Christians to live a life characterized by joy, not grumpiness. This is an expansion on part of the message, "Lighten Up!", also posted on this site.

Living a Lifestyle of Joy Various Scriptures August 24, 2003 Introduction We all like being around people who are generally upbeat, don’t we? I mean, if you had your choice of being with someone who had a smile or someone who looked like he was weaned on sour lemons, who would you most likely ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 28:7, Psalm 118:24

Denomination: Wesleyan

Room To Grow Series

Contributed by Victor Yap on Jul 27, 2003

The Life of Abraham, Part 5 of 10.

ROOM TO GROW (GENESIS 17:1-19) Skating great Michelle Kwan had won every title but the Olympics. Twice Michelle Kwan failed to land the big prize at Winter Olympics Figure Skating Championship. In 1998 she was placed second and in 2002 she dropped to third. Each time she bravely congratulated the ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 17:1-19

Denomination: Independent/Bible

His Name

Contributed by Ronald Crandall on Dec 21, 2002

A message on the Name of Jesus and it’s importance.

His Name By:Charlse Kyle Matthew: 1:21 And she shall bring forth! a son and His Name shall be called Jesus; for he shall save his’ people from their sins. Luke 2:21, his Name was called JESUS, I want to say at the beginning of this morning that there is a great importance attached to a Name. ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 1:21, Luke 2:21

Denomination: Pentecostal

Vision

Contributed by Jerry Shirley on Aug 14, 2010

It is what causes leaders to rise to the top of the bucket like cream. It is what separates leaders from followers, and separates mediocre leaders from great ones. Link inc. to formatted text, audio/video, PowerPoint.

Vision Nehemiah 2:17 http://gbcdecatur.org/sermons/Vision.html It is the #1 distinguishing mark of a leader. It is what causes leaders to rise to the top of the bucket like cream. It is what separates leaders from followers, and separates mediocre leaders from great ones. Leaders understand ...read more

Scripture: Nehemiah 2:17

Denomination: Baptist

The Big Tease - How To Overcome Bullying Series

Contributed by Gregg Barbour on Feb 8, 2010

Kids are constantly being made fun of and bullied. This sermon looks at what it means to overcome and rise above the bully.

Darrell Loomis was a truck driver. Each week he hauled goods from Cincinnati to Atlanta. Joe’s Diner was his favorite eating spot on the route. Darrell always stopped for meals at Joe’s. One summer afternoon, Darrell parked his truck and walked into the diner. Sitting down in his ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 12:33-37

Denomination: *other

Giving Thanks To God Series

Contributed by Steve Shepherd on Nov 13, 2012

Some thoughts about thanksgiving from God’s Word. 1- In a list of sins ingratitude is a big one 2- In the presence of all people we must give thanks 3- In a world of impurity there must be thanksgiving 4- In the midst of asking we must give thanks

INTRO.- ILL.- It was on Thanksgiving many years ago that actress Helen Hayes cooked her first turkey. Before serving it she announced to her husband, Charles MacArthur, and their son James: “Now I know this is the first turkey I’ve ever cooked. If it isn’t right, I don’t want anybody to say a ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Christian Joy

Contributed by Fred Sigle on Mar 12, 2007

Joy is a gift from God. Our joy is a witness to others as to the "great things God has done for us."

CHRISTIAN JOY A. What do you think is the average person’s concept of a Christian? ILLUSTRATION: There was a man waiting in line at a CHECK-OUT STAND. He seemed AGITATED and IMPATIENT and had a very SOLEMN and GLOOMY look on his face. When the CHEERY young woman at the check-out said, “Good ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 126:1-3

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Temptations, Trials & Tests: God Guides Us Through All.

Contributed by Doug Koehler on Feb 27, 2009

We give credit to God for much but, we should never give credit to God for Tempting us. Rather the credit should go to God for helping us through our temptations, tests and trials.

Temptations, Trials and Tests: Text: Genesis 22:1-18 Text: Mark 1:9-15 JOKE: I am going to lay claim to this joke because I have never heard anyone else tell it. So blame me first if you shake your head after hearing it. Here it goes: Did you know that cars existed in the days of Jesus? It is ...read more

Scripture: 2 Kings 22:1-18

Denomination: Lutheran

The Slow Slide Series

Contributed by Joseph Marshall on Mar 21, 2020

Many people struggle with the same temptation for many years. Often, people will wonder, “How is it possible for a Christian to struggle with a temptation for so long? How did things get so bad?” I’ll tell you how: so slowly that you wouldn’t even notice what was taking place.

The Slow Slide Text: Genesis 13:2-13 Introduction: Ever seen a Chinese handcuff? Maybe you know it better by the name “Chinese Finger Trap” or “that joke your friend played on you that one time after asking, ‘Wanna see something cool?’” The genius of this gag toy is its simplicity; it’s just a ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 13:2-13

Denomination: Baptist

God Is In The Business Of Hope

Contributed by Troy Borst on Apr 9, 2020

So many things in life are up in the air or on hold or have been canceled because of COVID-19. We need the kind of hope that comes from God through Jesus Christ. I believe the absolute best thing I can do for you today is to point you towards hope!

GOD IS IN THE BUSINESS OF HOPE VARIOUS PASSAGES #Easter2020 INTRODUCTION… https://www.funny-jokes-quotes-sayings.com/funny-easter-quotes.html A Sunday school teacher was asking her six-year-olds about the meaning of Easter. “Children,” she said, “Do you know why we celebrate Easter?” A little girl ...read more

Scripture: Ruth 2:18-20, Psalm 33:17-22, Romans 5:2-8, John 20:11-18

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Darkness Into Light Series

Contributed by Chris Appleby on Dec 15, 2016

We're the light of the world and children of light. Allow that light to shine brightly in our lives to light up those around us. Let’s expose their deeds as we seek to shine brightly for Jesus, so that they may be quickened and made light themselves.

This is an image from my childhood that has just stuck with me. It’s from one of those movies that we used to watch over and over again, at least every holiday. It’s from the last of the original, and good, Star Wars movies. In my mind, it’s one of the pivotal scenes from the ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:3-20

Denomination: Anglican

The Two Minute Warning

Contributed by John Gaston on Feb 5, 2017

Football's "Two Minute Warning" warns the game is almost over and the window to make a change is closing. It's an apt example of how God's warnings about our lives are serious and the time will come when reversal will be too late. (Msg good any time).

THE TWO MINUTE WARNING Daniel 5:1-31 INTRODUCTION A. HUMOR 1. ATLANTA JOKE The Atlanta Falcons had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field and demanded to be given a chance to play at tight end. Everyone watched with wonder as the turkey caught ...read more

Scripture: Daniel 5:1-30

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Understand Your Position. Series

Contributed by Shine Thomas on Jan 6, 2015

How should we behave now that we are God’s children?

Follow us on: Website: https://cityharvestag.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CityHarvestA... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cityharvestag/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/CityHarvestAGChurch/featured Introduction: God called us from darkness into his divine light. Now we are ...read more

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Who Can And Cannot Be Saved

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Mar 25, 2022

The scripture says, "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."

This verse of scripture sounds simple enough, but often even a familiar text needs some explanation. Something needing an explanation makes me think of the following little story: Illus: There was a criminal who was put in prison. The prison life had many new and different aspects. One of the ...read more

Scripture: Romans 10:13-14

Denomination: Baptist